Written by lainie at 05:57 PM on May 2, 2006 in Daily Life.

Whoooo long weekend.

[ Kat! We're having my dinner on Saturday I think, I'm not sure, but I'll find out and message you. Either way, yes yes I'll see you on the 8th! ]

Aunt's birthday party. I like my family, so meeting up is always good.

Tei's birthday party. Had some beer, promptly turned red. Stayed over with Tei. She kicked her brother out of the room.

Lainie: Won't he be suspicious, me staying over?
Tei: Oh. Yeah. He might think I'm doing you.
Lainie: Oh god. I still have a reputation to keep yknow.

[ What was I talking about? What reputation? The only people who know me know me through my blog, which isn't the most impressive thing to admit to. ]

After the party was over, Tei and I listened to some boys make lots of jokes while they drank. Hmm, is it just me, or do boys know more jokes than girls? I never know any jokes, can't memorise. Finally we decided to leave the party - drove out to meet Zedeck and Iszie, and we would have loved to stay longer but it was a hi-bye thing, because we met them, said hi, five minutes later we had to say bye.

4am - Off went Tei and Lainie to rescue The Moxy and The Didi, because Didi made the brilliant decision to jimmy the lock to their room with the car keys. And the car key broke. So they were stranded with no room or transport.

Then.....Lainie did something miraculous. I was up and about by SUNRISE.

Headed out to get heaps of post-party photos for my class assignment. We're limited to two perspectives - worm's eye and bird's eye view (I only know drawing terms, am not sure what they're called from photography, is there a difference?). I HATE being limited - which is strange, because I can limit myself so easily, but I resent it when anyone else does it. Hmmmm.

I didn't like many of my photos . Out of those that fit the assignment brief, I only like about.....two. Which is pretty awful, cause I'm using a digicam, and that comes with a bloody preview, yknow?

[ I can't find my thumbdrive. Fuck. This is so bad. ]

I helped Tei clean up her party (when I wasn't busy with my photography assignment) a lil, so spent the morning sweating in the rising sun, clearing tables, folding stands and stacking chairs etc. Taking photos was actually more of a bitch because I had to squat a lot for the perspective, and I have flippin low blood pressure so I get dizzy easily.

Finally, everything was ready in time for the caterers to collect. Tei worked more, and I have become the pain you meet, the sort of enthusiastic person who just got some shiny new digicam and is constantly all over your face with it. On the other hand, I have some pretty cool photos of Tei.

My aunt messaged me after that, and when I replied she drolly remarked it was surprising that I was awake at that hour. Bah. I didn't go back to sleep cause Tei is the energetic sort (as are most of my friends, I really do wonder why) and she had to go work later anyway.

Tei ended up really liking some of the photos. Hmph. After rolling her eyes at me constantly taking photos.

She asked if she could use them in a short film - so I said yes (if it ever happens). I also told her to quickly tell me what she wanted the photos for, while the light was still there, so I could take them tailored to what she wants (as opposed to what my lecturer wants, and the end part photos were getting shite because I couldn't keep conscious while constantly squatting / getting up).

I was supposed to go meet a friend later - but she hopped on a bus a bit too soon while we were still clearing up the party for the movers. So, next time yah? .

Eventually got home. Did assignments. Slept at 630pm - setting the alarm clock for two hours later so I could have a late dinner and work more. I woke up today, 12 hours later. Hmmmmmmm. I guess I needed my sleep more than I thought. Fortunately, I'd already done all the work I could for today's classes, so I wasn't too pressed for time.

Went to class, briefly showed what I intended to do with my project. Next class cancelled, as usual. Haih. But convenient, cause Tei wanted to go to DBKL again, so I accompanied her.

Met Fishballs in college, his girlfriend was there. He drew an angel shitting (holy shit) and a dog chasing a bone (boner, as opposed to pussy).

Lainie: That bone looks like a two way dick.
Fishballs: You need a girlfriend. You're so horny you're starting to fantasise about men.

[ We shall not go there ]

Lainie: I'll borrow your girlfriend then.
Fishballs: No!
Lainie: Why not?
Fishballs: She's not for rent!
Lainie: Dude. Who said I was gonna pay you?

His girlfriend said she'd like to object to our conversation, but didn't know how. And considering I assume she hangs out with psychotically gung-ho lesbians women's rights activists, you'd think she had a few things to say about that.

Actually, I don't know who she hangs out with. Or if they're lesbian. Call it the overall impression.

=====

Goverment officers are slooooooow. Don't these people EVER get FIRED for being completely inefficient?

If they have nothing to inspire them to work, I think a fair bit of fear should be used till we can think of something suitable.

Seriously, they make personal phone calls, and ask you to wait cause they have something to finish up (and sometimes, when you look at the computer screen - their "work" is to finish up a round of solitaire, or to get through to the next round of whatever YAHOO! game they have installed, so it might be healthier not to look). If I see that it's a game, I will usually snap.

So if you're dependent on the government for some important papers - don't send me. I cannot stand it. I don't know. I think they should be fired. It's ridiculous.

Tei and I had to go pay a bill. There's a security guard there. Yknow the machine where you press a button to get a number? His job is to grunt and point at the button. It doesn't matter what you want to ask directions, have any other questions, speak Swahili, jiggle naked, rob the office, he'll probably just grunt and point at the button.

While Tei was off making a phone call, one govvie woman asked me to sign something, and she was actually in a hurry. Which impressed me to no end, because I happen to think that the idea of holding a 100m race at the annual company picnic (or whatever), is the most ironic activity people who work for the government could do.

Then a phone call came through, and she took a loooong time as she settled her inside route to getting someone a driving license even though he had a dodgy right hand. And scribbling down details on the paper I had just handed her.....

Since I had to wait for Tei anyway, I looked out the window - her slippers were drying on the sill. Charming. As Tei arrived she wrapped up her call, did something very minor to the slip we required, and we were done.

Followed Tei around for her work a lil bit, and am now typing this.

Pang called me earlier to invite me for the Kakiseni Cameronian awards. The theme is something like Your Malaysia, or My Malaysia, or something like that.

Which, given the crowd going, is a jolly good opportunity for much assiness to go on display under the guise of wit.

Oh and I'll probably start writing for The Sun under the Youth section. I was asked if I "wanted to be a writer, right?".

Lainie: Well, I want money, which is not really the same thing, but close enough.

Written by lainie at 12:56 PM on May 3, 2006.

Going slightly nutters. I'm creeping myself out -_-". Starving. Can smell dinner cooking.

Deleting photos from two semesters of photography classes. Not really checking, just trashing loads. Theory is, if I can't remember anything interesting, and thumbnails not catching my eye, there's nothing good there.

Of course, my memory is shite. And I don't like many of my photos anyway. I just deleted two folders of photos after a brief glance-through. If I don't stop this, I will end up deleting all my photos and be in trouble when Icon Show comes about.

[ Icon Show is the show Cenfad students hold. Don't know what goes into it, but if photography is a part, I've just foooked myself over, and hopefully my photographer friends will be feeling charitable in two weeks. ]

I should wait 2 weeks, after semester ends, to clean up the files. Responsibility sucks balls (and I am tempted to make some joke about how I don't here)........Anyhow, I usually cannot resist deleting files - this is one reason why I do not visit my Deviantart, nor do I read my blog.

At least I'm not deleting any files from my other subjects - I'll be printing heaps these next 2 weeks.

Photography is pissing me off and if this keeps up, David will end up with a lot of "artistically tilted" photos (shot from ground level) of a rocky road with a tiny, lonely leaf in the corner. Or something horribly cliched and lazy-college-studentish. Like, pictures of the flower pots near my house, with absolutely no purpose / aesthetic value beyond the Natural Beauty of God's Creations, with the focus set such that the background is blurry - so the flower pops out more and it looks like I actually Thought About This.

Well. Recycle Bin emptied. Almost 1G of photos. *crosses finger*.

=====

[ And I don't know if I've mentioned this before but fuckit lah ]

Designing the logo for our new car. You know the Volkswagen Beetle? Oh I'm sure you do. Anyways, we have to come up with a new car idea and create the logo for it. My group chose the Beetle - me and Bibi are the only girls in class, Bibi chose the car, I seconded, and Bee agreed with us, but I think he's quite aware the other groups are doing more He-Man type of cars than we are .

Ours is the Volkswagen Beetle Junior - The Jr.

Creative, huh?

It's better than during our presentation.

Lainie: The name for our car is tentatively, The Kumbang.
Meifei: What tentative name? No tentative! Final name for car today!
Lainie: Today? We don't want to really name our car Kumbang!

[ Kumbang = bug or beetle or insect or something like that (seriously, my grasp of Malay language blows), pronounced like koom-bhang, but basically I suggested it because I have a big blabber mouth that cannot resist words that can read like "Cum Bang". Really, what could be funner than designing the cumbang car? ]

[ Mild buzz amongst group, as Bibi and Bee discuss alternative group names. Bee's head pops up and bless that boy..... ]

Bee: The Junior, our car.
Lainie: Yes! Our car name is Junior! And it's a car that's like a regular Beetle, only even smaller, cuter and funner!

[ Did I, as representative, just say that our group is going to take a small car and make it......smaller? Fuck it! We only need a car concept and logo for it! The brief didn't say we can't make midgets our target market, should it come to that! ]

Meifei: Junior.....Hmmmm.
Lainie: *sweat*.
Meifei: Cute name. It could work. Okay, can.
Lainie: *whew*.

I had made some joke earlier about the entire interior of the car having glowing walls, neon lights that change colours according to whatever music is playing, and that we could apply it to the outside of the car / headlights.

And while that would be totally tripsome, I'm not sure it would allow anyone to use it as a car by the time the lights are done screwing up your senses. Something to sit and be high in, maybe.

Also, I was joking. Bibi understood that. Unfortunately, Bee thought I was serious and fell in love with the idea (and our car would have become The Glowy Beetle / The Firefly). That, in itself, is not a problem. The problem was when he presented it as part of our car's features.

Meifei looked astounded and actually did not say anything for awhile as she stared bug-eyed at our group in a "What Were You Thinking?" way. I gawked too, before softly whispering "Bee....I was kidding.....". You know the people who hate those blinking blue lights some people put in cars? They'd take a steamroller and go over Glowy if we ever did that.

Not to mention it'd probably go against some regulation on cars.

====

Augh. Imaya's class coming up, I need to look up (and worse, buy) different materials for producing wrapping paper, paper bag and god this is a bad sign, I can't remember the third item. It's for Corporate Identity assignment, and I'm doing a fashion label. Ah! Uniforms for the staff (the crap I have to design, bah). Must brainwash self.

Designing! Uniforms! Is! Fun! Designing! Uniforms! Is! Fun! I! Love! This! I! LOVE! THIS!

It's not working.

Then after materials, it's printing (also $$$ flyflyfly). Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. And photography assignments piling up.

GahhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Written by lainie at 06:43 PM on May 6, 2006 in Daily Life, Arty stuff.

Sorry about the long time this took, no internet access, computer lab in college sucks baboon asses, and I just couldn't be bothered anyway (which, I guess, means I'm not really that sorry).

I am recovering from both my period, and fever from the last few days. Therefore, am feeling it is entirely justifiable to be a hostile hag. I'd been wonky for days without realising I was burning up a fever (I'm sick so often I have difficulties telling the difference), till one of my classmates put his hand against my forehead and told me.

Past few days, let's see.......

I bought the Beef Foldover in Mcdonalds (it sucks, don't bother). As I was eating, two guys approached me. The fatter one spoke up:

Annoying Guy: Excuse me miss. Are you Malay or Chinese?
Lainie: ............Why?

[ Let's just say hostile and suspicious is probably how I came across, and that the two of them looked scared ]

Annoying Guy: We're doing a survey on Malay and Chinese, because the two races have different preferences, so we want to ask your opinion on -

I cut them short. I assume the only reason Indian wasn't asked of me was because 1) I don't look Indian, and 2) I was eating beef (though that's really a Hindu thing, different). Let's just say that after I said what I had to say, the two of them left nervous and I did not expect to be harassed again.

Then, two minutes later some clueless guy with some annoyingly affable grin, I assume their lil team leader, came. He spoke to me in Mandarin.

Annoying Guy 2: Excuse me miss.
Lainie: I don't speak Mandarin.
Annoying Guy 2: Oh. *smiles* I have questions for you.
Lainie: Right. I'm not interested. Please go away.
Annoying Guy 2: *smiles*

Then he starts to head towards the other end of the table to sit next to me. OH JESUS FUCKING MOTHER OF GOD CHRIST MACHAUHAIIIIII IS IT NOT PATHETIC ENOUGH I AM IN MCDONALDS ALONE WITHOUT YOU ASSHOLES HOUNDING ME????

Lainie: Excuse me? I DON'T want to take your survey. Are you going to ask me my race too?
Annoying Guy 2: No la no la *smiles*

[ So what, you're gonna assume I'm Chinese? (You'd be right, but I have my period so fuck you) ]

[ And I assure you, it's that "I'm cute and don't know what's happening, don't you want to help me?" kind of smile. It makes me want to shove black pepper and salt under his eyelids ]

Then he plonks this HUGE stack of paper binded into a book beside me, it's his goddamn survey. He gives his ingratiating smile again, and I give him a "Motherfucker, you expect me to answer all those questions? That's thicker than my end year research paper in Bio-science".

Let's just say, after I said what I had to say, and refused his stupid RM5 Mcds voucher, and glared at him, I did not expect to see them again. I did not eat much of the food, it was too spicy for me.

And of course, they're in the same train as me on the way to KLCC. Wonderful.

====

For Psychology in Literature, our class was supposed to get into groups and discuss, verbally, Herman Hesse's book - Demian (jolly good book by the way, give it a shot). I guess my group was generally feeling quite tired so instead of coming up with anything intelligent we did an interpretative dance of the meaning of Demian. Aina did what she calls "dancing", and we call "weird body movements". This is my contributtion:

Lainie: I'll be the pole.
Leng: Haha. Smart.
Lainie: The pole may not be a straight one, but still doable.
Leng: Yeah. Very not straight pole, in so many ways.

I had not fully done the research paper for Bernice's class, but there was no point in skipping anyway, for the simple reason that I was heading over to the Kakiseni awards after that, and Bernice would be there.

I mean, it'd be stupid to show up for an event, alcoholic drink in hand, then bump into your lecturer whose class you just skipped with some lame excuse like "I was sick two hours ago....really".

I really liked the awards because they gave free goodie bags, and in the bag I got was a notebook. I am such a whore for notebooks it's quite sad. It's like giving your pet dog a bone, except mine is...well, paper, in a stack.

The theme was "Your Malaysia". I didn't get dressed up for it because I couldn't be fucked - though I suppose my college clothes were somewhat appropriate since my tshirt said "Generation Fuck You". TV Smith said he had to have a photo of it, so he got his date to snap a pic. It's so typical er, cute, how many people came in traditional clothes though. I suppose their Malaysia is very cultural and traditional.

I went there alone and was chilling in the hotel room till Pang came. He is so vain. I wanted to go down to the party before the show started, but he told me to stay (I'm not sure why, my opinion is really not the helpful variety).

Lainie: Isn't it ironic? You and me in a hotel room?
Pang: No, why would it be ironic?
Lainie: I guess we don't share the same humour.
Pang: No! We must be the same. We must share our humour. When I laugh, you shall laugh.

[ ..............Okay.......... ]

Lainie: I am in a hotel room with Pang. Is it just me, or does this situation scream of irony?
Zedeck: Where is this party and can I join in?

Pang was doing his hair, and he actually waxed his sideburns, so they would "lash out" the correct way. That has opened up new hair horizons I never knew of before. Sideburn wisps deserve attention too! Pang wore an open-chest "Ah Beng" jacket he bought for the occasion, and had a semi-permanent "Kiss a Kafir" tattoo across his chest.

Other options, I believe, were like "Kafirs are people too" and "Have you hugged a kafir today?".

Went for the show, eventually, after Pang was done primping. Said hi to Zedeck. I was seated alone - the people nearby did not show up - when this dude in a white Arab coat asked to sit next to me. Holy crap, it was Rafil. I swear to god, he looked like some holy man in white clothes, and I've never seen this dude in anything but black.

He was wearing rosary beads and thwacked me with them because I am a kafir* too. Asshole.

[ Kafir = non-believer. ]

Of course, I immediately stole his beads from him and claimed them as mine. The show started with a Mak Yong dance, which I thought was pretty cool (not live music, but still).

The awards got droll quickly, since the only category I was interested in was dropped. There were some funny bits from the emcees though. It was also kind of weird that some people made it a point to speak in English, even though it was obviously not their first language. Why? Is it cause they wanted to be understood that badly? I'm not very into being understood, I guess. Maybe a translator* next time?

[ Whaddya call those people who translate speeches, live, as opposed to translating texts? I can never remember ]

I walked out to chit chat with the people outside the hall who occasionally peeked in to hear the emcees banter, Faridah Merican forgot repeatedly that the winners she were announcing did not come with nominees, Sharifah Amani (or however that is spelled) is cute, many beautiful people, the dances were good.

I did, however, pop back in to watch the video at the end of the awards. It's the "Kaki Crony" awards, mostly because Kakiseni gets accused of cronyism (especially Kathy - which is stupid, because Kathy's not a judge is she? AND, she's friends with most of the nominees, but never mind). It was hilarious man.

Kathy pretends to be some white woman who can't speak Malay (white woman name, but 100% Malaysian, just like Boh Tea). She very terharum untuk menerima, er, buah tangan ini. She basically said she was very fragrant, instead of thankful. Then Pang in his speech tells us he is wonderful and responsible for world peace, racial unity, religious harmony, and oh, sliced bread. Zalina is a pothead, Juliet is a drunkard rocker, Becky is bullied and and and...Oh, the video is funny.

While I was outside, wearing Rafil's rosary beads, I hunted down some Muslims and thwacked them with it, saying "Repent! Sinner, REPENT!"........Which is by all means so salah, you know? But heck, if Rafil can do it to me, I can do it to others!

Actually, I whacked Rafil with the beads and told him to repent, too. He gave me a huge "Huh, what the fuck?" look. When I gave it back to him, and he tried to whack me with it, I licked them. Oh yummy rosary beads, you are my dinner...............

I am blaming that on my fever.

I wore Zedeck's coat, because I was too stubborn to put mine on and finally Iszie couldn't take it anymore. After a while Zedeck started sneezing so he got it back, Iszie was cold so she got my jacket, and I had beer to convince me I was really warm.

After the show, there was free flow of wine and beer at the after-party. Kinkybluefairy was there with Kanch (ai perempuan, we were supposed to go Loft right? Sorry bout that, got caught up in some room parties instead). Kinky knows Iszie, so that was...interesting. Met quite a few people, mixed my drinks (white wine and beer), got very happy. Not very sure what I did, who I met, what I said.

Iszie reminded me that I had texted her before while I was high, and then she smiled................

I had actually forgotten about that, memory of convenience and all that, and now I shall forget it again lalalala. We went for supper, then I bought back food for Kathy and her friends, who were in their room drinking wine and talking about the stuff that happened at the awards show. It was hilarious - they were all very witty and intelligent, so I did what younger quiet people tend to do - sit quietly and eavesdrop.

Then I went to another hotel room where part of the Kakiseni crew (some of whom I'd met while Pang was showing me how to work on my article), Juliet, Becky, and Zalina, along with Nicole and Janet were, had a bit more alcohol and hilarious moments. I don't know, but I think Juliet was talking about being vegetarian, cause when she's driving she feels so bad for those chickens cramped into cages, but when she sees them in her curry they just look delicious and she wants to eat them.................................................

Nicole and Janet are from M! The Opera, so they were made to sing the "There is no time....there is no time...." song. I don't remember going to sleep, but when I woke up, Becky was asleep next to me, after hogging the blankets.

So yes, insomnia meant that I drank the night before, but got up two hours before my class today. I have two classes on Saturday, do you have any idea how many balls that sucks?

I didn't have anyone to dine with tonight, though there were many invitations for AFTER dinner. Finally, I realised, what a wonderful thing because I am dying for some proper rest (Farid says I look terrible - I'm sick, bitch, how fabulous do you expect me to look?).

Then of course, once I decide that, Rish calls me up and asks me out for dinner. She can't stay in KL on Monday, even though it's my birthday, because she doesn't think her parents will allow her to. Which sucks, cause I don't have classes on Monday.

So yes, 8th of May, Lainie Yeoh's birthday .

And now, I'm off home to sleep. About emails and comments - I just get online, post entry, and get off - can't afford cybercafe fees yeah I do read, I just can't spend time replying yet. Soon, soon.

Twilight Singers - Teenage Wristband.

"You wanna go for a ride?
I got sixteen hours to burn
And i'm gonna stay up all night-

Tell your mama fever come
Back again"

Written by lainie at 06:48 PM on May 6, 2006 in Music.

Okay, fine, I can take a hint. This was left as a comment in an old entry by someone from evenstarr, but here y'all go.

BANDFEST SARAWAK 2006

See you all at the biggest gig in town!!!

ONE BUCK SHORT, EVENSTARR, TEMPERED MENTAL, FUNNY RABBITS, NICE STUPID PLAYGROUND, DREAM MACHINE, SLAP!, SEVEN DAYS AFTER, SWELLS ...... and more

21 bands (maybe more) ......

also meet up hitz.tv personality VJ EAN only at bandfest ......

21 MAY 2006 1pm - 8pm
Kuching Amphitheatre (Opposite Kuching Civic Centre)
RM 20 (Zone A) - can meet bands and get autographs
RM 10 (Zone B) - still enjoy gig but kureng the above

This gig will be recorded by Astro as program for Aftershock special so please come in large numbers to support your local yet talented bands and songwriters. See you all there.

Contact 012 8091012 for detail and reservations

No Smoking, No drugs, No Alcohol, No Fighting

====

I'd say it's worth it, but no smoking or alcohol? What kinda point are you trying to prove? Oh well then, it's the Kuching people who gotta deal with that .

By the way, Masturbate-a-thon looks funny as heck.

Written by lainie at 12:08 PM on May 7, 2006.

"I Shouldn't Be Alive" is a pretty good title for that show on Discovery. I mean, it could be something like "Crappiest Day of My Life", not the same ooomph.

I went for dinner with Rish, Sanjes and Kumar - Rish wanted to buy me dinner because she won't be around on Monday, bee-yatch. I lovies Rish, but I only see her when she feeeeels she can grace me with her bloody presence.

Lainie: Yknow, Rish looks so intelligent. Then she talks, and it's allll blond.
Rish: .....

[ Pause ]

[ Pause ]

[ Pause ]

Rish: Yknow, I have nothing to add to that.

Haha....She says it's her medication. Whatever. I was sick that night too. After dinner Rish and I went to look for Moxy and Didi. Miss Homophobic best friend, meeting my two very very very gay friends.

Rish: This is bad, I'm treating it like a visit to the zoo.
Lainie: Lesbians are people too, you know.

We were talking about emo dramas, and Rish is the kind who attracts leeches and emotional vampires, I don't know how (I feel relatively low maintenance compared to some of the people she knows).

Lainie: So bersemangat to beremo, you sure you're not meant to be a lesbian ah?
Risha: Excuse me? I'm a girl, okay?
Lainie: Yes...Most lesbians are female.

She later said I was supposed to "fill in the blanks", but I cannot remember what those words are supposed to be, nor can I figure out what they are.

Moxy and Didi behaved themselves, I think they were more shocked by Rish.

Lainie: Your top's going down again.

[ Her dress was a bit low at the boobs ]
[ Rish looks at her boobs and back up at me again ]

Rish: It's okay. Let them run free.

I looked over and thought Moxy was going to choke on her food.

Lainie: Why are we friends again?
Rish: Because you love me.
Lainie: I have no idea why.
Rish: Because........I am so hot.
Lainie: *bleurgh*.

Right. Risha's laptop battery is dying, so ciao-est people. Risha's sister-in-law is pregnant, and just got off the phone. She says her mom said "Don't have more than two children, they're a waste of time. Look at all of you, waste of time".

Ehehhehe. Parents are funny.

Written by lainie at 04:24 PM on May 8, 2006 in Rants, Daily Life.

Typing this at home, even though I have no internet connection (something I hope to fix by Monday). By the time I post this, it will be my birthday

People have been taking my temperature, mostly because I look so sickly they can't believe I'm not burning up on the spot (no, really, I'm fine!). I don't have a fever, but da-yum, under certain lighting conditions it feels like my head is swaying. Especially dim lights.

It's actually kinda reaaaaally trippy. I've been really distracted and incoherent lately, sorry about the stupid emails / msn chats I've had, I've taken two panadols it should all be fine soon.

=====

Yesterday Rish told me something, it's been more than 24 hours and it's STILL bugging me. I woke up thinking about it, which was entirely fucked up because I like to laze around in bed and that memory totally ruined it. I'm insomniac, I require all the lazing around in bed I can muster up.

I don't know if you guys remember about the temple thing.

Rish: Yeah, Sanj said she doesn't see why you should care.
Lainie: HUH?
Rish: She said there are so many temples around, what's another one being knocked down anyway.
Lainie: .....What do you mean?
Rish: And she said, she's Hindu and she doesn't give a damn, so why the hell should Lainie?

[ My brain drain is about complete here, not because I couldn't find an opinion, but because so many flooded up at one go, and each with an army of questions, that I couldn't pick one ]

Lainie: What does she mean, why? Whatsit matter what I am? What they did was bloody awful!
Rish: Well. Maybe because you're more involved in this kinda stuff than she is.
Lainie: What STUFF? I don't even read the papers or pray! Temples have about nothing to do with me.
Rish: Well. This has more to do with your world.
Lainie: This has nothing to do with my world!

[ My world = Food, internet, coffee, art, music, graphic design, comics, books, knocked down temples? ]

Rish: Why are you getting so personal?
Lainie: What? No! This isn't about me. I'm just weirded out, she doesn't give a shit?
Rish: Nope. And she doesn't see why you should.
Lainie: ....She doesn't give a shit! How can she NOT?
Rish: Oi! Why are you so angry?
Lainie: I'm not angry, I'm just weirded out that she doesn't care*.

[ Also, I found what she said about knocking down temples, there are so many anyway, highly insensitive and flippant ]

Rish: I don't care......Maybe if I knew more about what was happening, but I don't.
Lainie: Yeah, but you're in Australia most of the time, you don't hear about stuff. Sanj is HERE.
Rish: I don't see why it's getting to you so much.
Lainie: .....I guess, cause when I see something is wrong, and being blatantly done, I expect people's natural reaction to be anger, disgust, or even....I don't know. Not this. I'm freaked out that her response is.....just so...SALAH*!!

[ *Wrong ]

Rish: Okay, calm down.
Lainie: I am calm. I'm calm about the whole thing. It doesn't involve me!*
Rish: Wokaaaay.
Lainie: I don't believe this.

*And the sad thing is, it's true yknow. I don't give a shit about many things, and I rest safe in the assumption that the people who should give a shit, do, so that people who don't (like me), can happily ignore the fact that we could be helping. I'm all talk, no action. But it's kinda weird that some people can't even be bothered to talk about it.

Is Sanj's reaction...normal? I always thought it was my type. Now I just feel like some indignant, nosy poke looking for fire. I'd like to think, her reaction, is....I don't know, maybe she was tired the day Rish told her what I'd said. People can't really be like that.....right? Am I not seeing something in the world or somethin?

:/ I wish Rish had told me earlier, just so I could talk to Sanj and talk to her about it, because I just want to know why. Why why why? Why, goddammit, WHY? Am I just very nosy? I had this moment of "Holy crap I'm gonna be that nosy old woman living down the road that everyone hates" kinda feeling. Cause by that definition, I'm poking my nose into a lot of religions, none of which I subscribe to.

I refuse to call and ask Sanj, because then, it will really look like I'm one of those people eagerly trying to convert others into my religion (whatever my religion is - Lainieism).

I mean..Sanj is gonna be a doctor (potentially a v caring career). And I know she's a nice person. So this...is just....weird. And I don't understand. Which is frustrating. I hate it when I think I know something and it turns out I don't understand anything. And....I just don't understand....

Which reminds me, I have some words to take back in some blogs. Three, actually.

That made me wonder if there were Hindus reading my blog entry and going "Apalah...Why the fuck is this girl going on and on about temples, I don't give a shit, so why should she care?". I'll restrain myself from pasting up poetry that relate to this (too uncool, as opposed to how ballsomely awesome the rest of this entry is, yo). They came for the Hindus - is kinda catchy though, no?*

[ I just realised I might sound like I'm on crack, which isn't wrong, but because I'm sober, let's not mislead you people. Was referring to this poem ]

....I don't know. I just felt so much disappointment in a friend I've known since I was 10. And really, that's not the nicest feeling to have about a friend.

I should know, I told Rish about something else I did recently, and all she had to say was

Rish: Well. Okay. Just.......Don't do it again.
Lainie: ...Are you pissed?
Rish: No. Just kinda disappointed in you.
Lainie: Oh.

Then we drove on in silence. I remembered what I felt about Sanj, and I felt so tiny sitting next to Rish it's not funny. :/.

=====

Went shopping in Midvalley with Rish today - to buy shoes. I am officially the Pain In The Ass for shopping. I don't like everything I can afford .

Rish has taken to pointing out all ugly brown shoes for me. Look! Ugly! and Brown! Then once, she found a pair of white ones, and offered to run them over in her car, make sure to get some mud on them, which will make em just right for me.

I don't know. All the shoes just look too round. Rish is also pointing out all school shoes, she says I just need to make them tatty and muddy.

Bee-yatch, I don't whine half as much when I accompany her shopping.

I'm pissin myself laughing - Listening to Scissor Sisters cover Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out. Rish thought it was a cat wailing away outside.

Written by lainie at 04:27 PM on May 8, 2006 in Daily Life.

Happy Birthdayyyy To MEEEEEEEEEEE!!

ME ME ME ME ME ME MEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEME!!

Written by lainie at 10:12 PM on May 9, 2006 in Daily Life, Friends.

Thank you for the birthday wishes, y'all .

The first thing I did when I woke up was call Tei because she transforms into a spider in the biggest bus station in Malaysia today, and I wanted to make sure she didn't miss her call time. That didn't make sense huh? Never mind.



For the first time I really feel it, not having internet connection - because birthday has been so brilliant I just want to shove my obnoxious sunshine up your asses share what happened today.

(Click to read the rest of the entry (dial-up users, there will be 3 photos))
But it's all good.

Written by lainie at 10:27 PM on May 9, 2006 in Rants, Arty stuff.

I'd like to think that Malaysians are wise to the fact that Berita Harian has a lot of baboons pounding away on the computers, and that the various rubbish they come up with are treated as news. Really, I'd love to think that. But like certain government officials, I am getting the feeling that there are people out there who are just too stupid to be given any information. Of course, what I think about stupid people, whips, red ants, cages, and deserted islands is totally unPC and shall not be further elaborated on.

It's just like how I'd like to think that my intelligence level is such that I do not need to resort to physical violence to make my point, but that would not be true because I find irritation hard to control.

We'd all like to fool ourselves into thinking we're a lot smarter than we really are, wouldn't we? Unfortunately, sometimes the pretenses work, and our shite gets spread like sticky peanut butter all over everyone else's faces. Open your mouths wide people, massive BH / ministry diarrhoea heading your way.

Anyways, I've receved several copies of this in my Inbox:

(Click to read the rest of the entry)

Written by lainie at 02:07 PM on May 10, 2006 in Daily Life.

Fortunately for a lil shop in Low Yat, my internet connection is working well today.

Yesterday I'd bought some hardware and found that it did not work (they sold me faulty stuff). Went to replace it today - and was basically told that if it still did not work, I could get anything else in their lil shop.

I grumpily informed them I had bought everything I needed / wanted yesterday, and they had nothing else to offer, so if this replacement was a dud too, I would expect a refund. They told me if that was the case I could take a whole stack of blank CDs instead.

Because a lil clause on their receipt, which I got AFTER I paid for my goods, said that I could not return goods. Fuck you....Do I look blur or something? Do I have something on my face that says "I do not know what is happening, please, rip me off"? - actually, I've been told that's *exactly* what my face looks like. I don't know how that expression ended up plastered across my face. Was I born with it?

I should check my baby pictures, or somethin.

It's like these people can sense I was probably the worst student in law class for two years running. My best friend studies law *eyeroll* it's so strange.

Yeah, sure, I'm gonna pay for something faulty so I can exchange it for blank CDs the next day, asshole. I was already deciding what to do if the replacement didn't work - five bucks (is it 5?) to make a complain, or to take this hefty torch at home and break their display cases after breaking open his obnoxious head.

Like I said, I'd love to think I'm intelligent enough to make a point without resorting to physical violence, but yknow. Anyways. It works, so. This is why I always tell Rish - forget all the others, study criminal law okplsthxbai because I have this awful feeling I'll do something thinking it's totally natural and right and find out (in jail) that it was actually really really really illegal..

.........Not that I'm saying my parents should worry about me ending up in jail. Nope. Nosirree. I think it's wonderful that I've made it past the 23r....Given past record of jinxing self shall shut up now.

====

A few friends have agreed to Friday gig. Because Tempered Mental is playing and they are Melina whores. I called Kat a Melina stalker.

Kat: Yeah. So? You're a stalker too.
Lainie: I'm a gig stalker. I go where the music is. You go where Melina is, and that's way creepier.
Kat: .....That's true.
Lainie: Damn right.

Later on:

Lainie: Yeah, one of my articles is supposed to be an interview of Tempered Mental, or something. I wanted to interview Rhapsody, but they've already been interviewed.
Kat: Oooh.
Lainie: But I don't think I will, I can't think of anything I want to ask (and I'm lazytothink okayshuttup).
Kat: Come. Let me help you.

[ Pause ]

Kat: Are you single?

[ Pause ]

Kat: Are you straight?

[ Pause ]

Kat: What are you doing later tonight?
Lainie: .................................................

[ I can only assume she meant Melina, and not Jimmy ]

Lainie: Er, I don't think so. Let's not scare her.
Kat: It's what I would ask.
Lainie: "Would you say that many women....look up...to you"

[ Pause ]

Lainie: "Do you have stalkers?" hahahahhaha!
Kat: "What is the ratio of your male:female fans, and why?"

Yar, let's not do that to the woman.

Tei was telling me the graphic designer where she's working is looking for interns to train up (interns, oh insert "intern is cheap labour" joke here). But like I said, I'm more keen on working production, just to see what they do and if I still want to continue my production-graphics hybrid course, or just study graphics.

Anyways,

Lainie: I don't know about a graphics job yet though.
Kat: Oooh, but go! She's* very cute lah!

[ *the girl who will be training the interns ]

Lainie: Okay, you know what? You need to stop stalking women through me, because I am starting to look really weird.*
Tei: Haha, you see! Now you know what I went through with her.

*Cause really, I'm not good with people, have a shite memory, AND am crap at lying, so juggling all three pretending I don't know about someone while having to remember what it is I AM supposed to know about, and all that.....................I get really confused.

=====

I have a treatment* to type out. It's two weeks overdue - basically everytime I'm supposed to hand one in I give Bernice a different one (I'm actually supposed to be working on one treatment only) for every class.

[ *A treatment is that storyline guide thing, that is written before typing out the script, to narrate what will happen in the script. I think ]

Is it my fault that I hate working on the same thing twice? Well, yes, but let's not dwell on the lil details. I've been writing all of them with pen and paper, this is the first time I'm gonna type it out.

So, it's 3.15am, I'd like to sleep in less than an hour, I gotta go type.

Cheerio.

Written by lainie at 01:53 AM on May 12, 2006 in Daily Life, Music.

Had this conversation with Rish, about lesbians falling in love with their straight girl friends.

Lainie: She told me about how she fell for one of her best friends, and I was worried it would happen to me, because I have so many of you guys around.
Risha: Yes, cause if you do that, you'll have very few straight friends left

[ I'll like to think she's wrong about that ]

Lainie: Then I thought carefully about each of you guys, and nehhhh. I don't think I need to worry.
Risha: What? Are you saying you don't find me hot?
Lainie: Nope. So?
Risha: What the. Guys don't find me hot, now girls don't find me hot either?

[ Which is a veeery stupid thing to tell your long suffering best friend who's had to put up with your weird and endless line of stalkers over the years ]

Lainie: Are you saying you want me to find you hot, hmm?

[ Long pause ]

Risha: I think my hair is too orange.
Lainie: ?

=====

Anyhow, I went for Moonshine tonight, the monthly do organised by Reza. It was an all-male line-up. Far as I could tell, they were all Malay too. I like Moonshine, Reza always gets a pretty good mix of performers.

[ It's cool, I'm going for Chick's Night Out tomorrow in Jam Asia, and that's an all-female / female fronted bands line-up ]

I told Reza I had videos from Olive Room Sessions (Isaac Entry, Reza Salleh, and Kevin Brokenscar performning), but he'd already seen them .

There are also some videos of Tempered Mental and Couple, from the KLue Borders performances. For some reason the Tempered Mental videos aren't going into the playlist :/.

Had not mentioned this earlier because there's still one video I have not uploaded (Isaac Entry covering Bob Marley), but I'm doing it right now (and it's up!).

Then I'll get around to re-encoding Moonshine videos and uploading them. Short clips.

Met quite a lot of people I know at Moonshine. Khailee recommended that I try the Strawberry Colada (cause I said I don't take alcoholic drinks - much). Try it if you're ever in Laundry Bar, it's yummy.

=====

Bernice asked me if she returned one of my short stories to me. Then she asked if another one she was holding up was the one I wrote under two hours -_-". I don't think I have any work written over two hours.

Anyway, I finally reworked my treatment - by reworked, I mean I spent an hour before class typing out what I had written on paper, and tweaking it as I went along. It's easy to tell when I've been typing in college, my spelling is shite. I hate using the keyboards there.

So yeah. I've finally managed to work on something I've written before, for Bernice's class. Now, I have to write a script based on it. Oh dear god, let my patience last. I am already so tired of the bloody emo drama that's going on in my treatment.

When I first presented it (horrible handwriting and all that)

Bernice: What's this about?
Lainie: Printers.

[ Pause ]

Bernice: And?
Lainie: Lesbians.

[ Which isn't true, but my mind was wandering around distracted - That was a reflex answer. I'm not sure how admitting to writing lesbian stories on reflex is a good thing - if at all. ]

Bernice: And?
Lainie: Yeah.

[ Pause as Bernice waits for Lainie to say something more.....well, just anything more ]

Lainie: ........Yeah.
Bernice: Lainie! What is it about!?
Lainie: Screwy printers! Screwy printers!

Sigh. When I presented the new treatment, I cautioned her that it might not make much sense - seriously, I hate writing stuff that's supposed to explain what is happening. I am not organised in my head enough to do that.

But yeah. It's about one girl printing her stuff that ends up elsewhere. Or something like that. And one girl going up as another is spiralling down, then they change positions (I am not talking about sex). And.......I think I'm going to give people a headache with my script.

Farid on the other hand is seriously overachieving by writing a script for some feature film when we only need enough pages to fill in a short film. He wants me to help him write it, which I'm fine with once the hols start.

And now, I have college work to catch up on.

Written by lainie at 01:44 PM on May 12, 2006 in Music.

Moonshine, at Laundry Bar.

Azmyl Yunor
Stonebay
Ariff Akhir
False Opus
Rizal Hefni

Anyhows, videos for all - I have this nasty images in my head of pissing people off by taking videos of them and putting them on the internet, but fuck it. I'm not sure why I take these videos, but at least you have a vague idea what it's like to go for these gigs (actually, considering how my videos all end up looking - shot from the most comfy place I landed my butt - I'm probably doing the scene a fair bit of damage )

I know. The image previews for the videos look sucktastic. The videos should be clearer. Swear. Would I lie?

(Click to watch the 11 videos of people performing that night.)
Woke up with a fever, debating whether I should go for class today (I'm dizzy, and hungry, and there's no food around cause of Wesak day - Happy Wesak Day, by the way).

Yes, Malaysia has a public holiday that sounds like We Suck Day. I'm not complainin.

Written by lainie at 02:18 PM on May 12, 2006 in College.

Some photos from my photography class, just cause I feel like it. I think it appalls people when I say Photography is the one class I won't feel bad about failing.




It's an exercise on top-to-bottom view photos. I hate having assignments but heck.



Most of my photos for this series were a bit dunia-kiamat-world-armageddoned-by-bird-flu kinda feel, because I was in a mall but feeling very pissed off with crowds, so I didn't really want them in my photos.

Malls make me want to murder the shoppers milling around.

Written by lainie at 04:55 AM on May 13, 2006 in Music.

Some nifty googling and I realised that ICOM has a CD of music available for download.

=====

I woke up today with a fever, and no appetite. I tried to make myself lunch - but it was either I was sick that everything tasted yucky, or cause I make only one dish- Crapiola. Pecked at it, spent the rest of the day dizzy and out of sorts, somewhat.

Finally stopped being stubborn and took a Panadol, zonked out yoinks, woke up in time to get ready for tonight's gig. Had a small packet of Super Rings for dinner (these cheese ring snacks). As I was on the way there, Cheneille called me:

Chen: Albert says to tell you that he spoke to Melina.
Lainie: Uhuh, and?
Chen: To make you jealous.
Lainie: .........I'm not the one stalking Melina, you know.
Chen: Yeah, suuuure.

Mahai. You see? YOU SEE? You see what you crazy lesbian stalkers make me look like? Buta I kena with the rest of you!


(Entry snippet: Click here to watch videos of performances, and a beer drinking competition)

I didn't post all the videos up here, just one of each performance, there are even more videos from tonight, mostly Tempered Mental and Plush (so yes, Melina, Melina Melina. I know there are her stalkers out there).

Meanwhile, some photos.









(spotted, Paul and Rafil - I blew Raf a kiss, it was so salah).




Well. Either click the link above, or click the "comments" link for this entry, and videos of this night will show up.

Written by lainie at 05:43 PM on May 13, 2006.

I mean, why blog about myself when I can blog about the people I semi-stalk whose work I occasionally take interest in.

Kay Barrett:

"love poems, high poems, bitter poems, political poems,
love poems i wrote when I was high
as a result of our bitter breakup
and you know it was political
because anything written by a dyke,
is political, right?"
(taken from Winter Breaking).

Kay Barrett just got her website up, she's a spoken word poet as well (anyone remember Francesca Beard's visit?).

Well, she has some .ram files of her poetry available for download at e-poets. I prefer Beard's voice, because I generally go for deeper voices, but I like Barrett's words .
She took part in something called "Dyke-Mic", and even if it's unoriginal, reckon it'd be fun to have something like that in KL.

Instead of reading my blog, why don't you pick up a can of aerosol estrogen and spray yourself with it?

=====

I called Tei to tell her about the gig last night - she was frustrated last night because everyone kept sending her smses to all these events filled with women she'd want to meet. The "Chic's Night Out" all women gig I went for, Frangipani's lil event (isn't Frangi a more gay man place though?), Loft had some thing up as well (but that was raided, so heck).

Where was Tei? Working. Heh, enjoy your life as a bitch for the cycle of productions crew (at least you get to check out the people who appear on our tvs?).

=====

I met some old friends the other day - people who knew me as half of the Fip-Lainie entity (Fip and Lainie's names can be combined in many different ways for sadass jokes).

They said they knew Fip was dating someone - but who was I dating? Well, nobody. I am in the SA phase right now. Do you know the three stages of singledom?

1. S: Single.
2. SA: Single, available.
3. SAD: Single, available, and desperate (I'm not there -yet!-).

Anyway, they made running movements, and told me it was a race and I'd better catch up. I briefly thought about it, and nahhhhh. Wait till I hit Stage 3. How am I supposed to be single in peace when all I see are unpeacefully single bloggers around me? Dammit, Fire, you're single, I'm single, let's go! Oh wait, you're straight.

Yeeesh. Stupid straight people. There should be some radiation in the world that'll make everyone realise they're bi.

Just be glad I'm not some goddess who can do as I please, and the only dictation I do is putting down someone else's words on my blog.

=====

I'm going for a photography exhibition in Seksan tonight - my friends keep asking me for directions, which is a problem (I don't care that I've been there for my reading and what not, I don't know where it is). Fortunately, the internet is filled with many lovely things, including maps I cannot decipher.

Projek Photo Poser has an opening tonight called Common People (and what am I but another plebeian who revels in being reminded I am a commoner). It's a photography exhibition by ten artists.

Yes, I'm afraid that's all I know, Bernice sent me the sms so mayyyybe she's one of the artists.

=====

A cool geek link from a tall geek boy:

"this is my coolest find tonight: instead of measuring the years you've been alive, measure the breadth of physically conceivable influence your birth has had on the interstellar neighbourhood. since four months ago i could (albeit remotely to the extreme) have influenced delta pavonis, which is 19.9 light years away.

I must admit I thought someone shot trippy drugs into Zedeck's arm when I read that message, but seriously: Light cone is cool.

HR753 is 23.5 light years away and only 6 months from the outer surface of your light cone - your ever-growing sphere of potential causality - which began its expansion from Earth on May 08 1983.

That's moi. Heh.

=====

One of the bands that performed last night, Candy, has an MP3 download of their song Akan Ku Tunggu available.

Rindu menyelubungi
Aku yang diuliti mimpi
Teguh memeluk hati
Degup rindu kau miliki

Dikau berjanji... pasti
Suatu hari kan
Terbukti nanti
Hidup ini akan kau sinari
Cahaya cintamu kasih

Hari berganti hari
Aku kan tetap menanti
Kukuh meneman diri
Cintamu tetap di hati

Dikau berjanji... pasti
Suatu hari kan terbukti
Gelungan kasihmu dijemari
Ikatan cinta abadi

Aku yang menghitung hari...

Akan kutunggu
Detik tiba saat itu
Akan kutunggu
Janji naluri nan satu
Akan kutunggu... kasih
Hingga terbukti erti cintamu
Hati ini ku biarkan dalam rindu.

(Video of them performing this song last night)

Written by lainie at 02:29 PM on May 14, 2006 as a favorite post.

Yesterday was fun. Went for a hastily put up photography exhibition organised by Saiful Razman. The whole idea being, anyone should be able to exhibit their works, and a decision is made everytime we snap a picture on our camera, so hey, why can't it be considered art? The reseult: A lot of photos by a lot of "nobodies".

Never mind that some of the "nobodies" have exhibited their works before .

Not a new idea, the usual who-has-the-space-and-audience question and all that, but hey, photographs! I like looking at people in photos, I'm that perfect person to stick to your nightmare grandmother who keeps pulling out old photo albums.

Bernice had some photos from Ophelia up. There were a lot of "Food Not Bombs KL" photos. Lomo pics. Basically it looked like a lotta people opened up their personal photo albums and stuck them on the wall .

KA was there with me - part of the exhibition was slides, with cut out pics inside (I thought it would be so cool if it could cover the entire wall). KA asked me if I'd seen slides before - dude, I'm in art college, cmon.

Bernice made me a punch - it was a tiny lil cup, but I turned red after drinking it. And so much for not mixing meds with alcohol, what's the worse that could happen anyway (no Dabido, don't answer that)? Lalalalalaaaaaa.

=====

Aren't we a creative lot? KA and I wanted to hang out somewhere and chill, so we decided on Strawberry Fields. Asked Fip and Kit if they'd like to join us - they were already there, watching football.
When we arrived, Tei and two of her friends (Ann & Shy) were there too, and yes, we didn't plan this. God, even Tei's brother was there with his friends. So our table ended up a bit big.

KA got my stalkee Lola to join us for the night - I kindly pointed out to her that she was the only straight girl sitting with 7 lesbians......She gave me a look, not the good kind. I still think she's gay in denial.

I think Lola now remembers why she doesn't really hang out with KA when the gay people are all together. We were talking about some gayish stuff. Somehow the conversation led to Lola's cleavage - she was wearing her "lucky pink shirt", which opens up low (I approve, am I complaining? Am I? No).

KA: Hey, you all, don't scare my straight friend okay.

At which point, Ann, who had been sitting at the other end of the table, got bug-eyed with a "There's a straight girl here?" look on her face. Slowly, she scanned my end of the table. Her eyes briefly rested on my face, I gave her my "Nope, me, I'm still gay" look.

She stared at Lola in "ZOMG this girl is straight, what the fuck???!!!1!1!11oneneonenesatusatusatu" shock-horror.

And if you know Ann, she's normally very composed, social, polite, fun and poised. But I think the shock was a bit too big for her, completely threw her off course. And I noticed Kit was also looking at her in a "Whaddya mean, this girl is straight?" way. And So was Shy, who was looking at her like "Hmmm, straight. Interesting specimen".

Yknow how gay people shock their family and friends by coming out of the closet? Lola's still peeking from inside hers and scaring the rest of us gay people. If Lola's not gay, what right do the rest of us girls have to be rug munchers?*

[ *And if she does for once bother to check my blog, Lola, I'm just kidding, swear ]

Because Lola accuses me of brainwashing other lesbians who have not met her, I will like to point out now that I have never mentioned to these three people that Lola is known as the Gaydar Breaker.

Ann: You're not gay?
Lola: No, I'm not! (panic approaches)
Ann: But....You're not gay? (obviously stunned)
Lola: No, really, I'm not.
Ann: But. How can you not be gay?
Lola: I'm straight..

[ Pause ]

Ann: But you look so gay.....

[ Whole table cracks up laughing, Lola looks all "Dammit, why does this always happen to me". Ann spends about a minute looking into space ]

Fip: Hey, are you okay?
Ann: Yeah...I'm just still thinking about it.

[ Leans over to take another peek at Lola ]

Ann: ...I can't believe she's straight.....Oh my god.
Lola: Really, I'm straight. (she might have said this more times tonight than I have throughout secondary school)
Ann: Well, you know.....It's okay, I used to be straight too.

Was sitting next to Lola so of course I had to be helpful.

Lainie: You do realise, when I met Ann, with my short hair and all that, she had to cautiously ask if I was gay because she didn't think I looked that gay? And I looked frickin gay.
Lola: What the hell? How can she not think you look gay and I do.
Lainie: Oh come on. I'm not the only gay girl hitting on you. Right? Right?

Lola keeps quiet, gives me that look again. What? I know I cannot possibly be the only lesbian hitting on you, don't even try to deny it.

Lainie: I know I'm right. I can't be the only gay girl who hits on you.
Lola:

Lola decides to take affirmative action.

Lola: Okay, what can I do to look less gay?

[ Lainie snorts derisively ]

Ann: ....I don't know.
Lola: Is it the way I dress?
Ann: I don't think there's anything you can do. You just look lesbian.
Lola: *forehead smack*

Lainie: Wait wait, maybe it's the librarian spectacles. Take them off?

Lola takes off specs and looks at us (and when was the last time I saw a girl take anything off, besides Iszie and her panda suit), I calmly remind my heart that no, you can start beating again, stop acting like a cheap ho. (Or as KA said, I'm not cheap...I'm free).

Lainie: Nope.
Fip: Not working.
Kit: Still gay.
Lainie: Sorry.

[ Pause - I feel a bit of pity ]

Lainie: You could try constantly hanging off the arm of some He-Man.
Kit: But if you do...
Lainie: You'll probably look like some lesbian in denial.
Fip: Yeah.

This is why I only see Lola once in a long while, everytime we meet up she gets reminded that gay people think she's one of us. After a very long night, Lola got up to leave, and Kit just stared at her in surprise.

Lola: ?
Kit: I thought if you stood up and I saw your whole body you'd look more straight.
Lola: I do?
Kit: No. You look even gayer.
Lola: X_X

Hehehhehehehhehehehhehehehehhehehehehehe. It's true though. Then she walks off with her arm around KA's waist, and our whole table just saw it and burst out laughing. She immediately lets go mid-walk. We laugh more.

Kit had asked her if she was from Assunta, because she seemed like she would be Assuntarian, I mean, only the biggest lesbo-ish school in Malaysia. Something is in the water there, I tell you. Them and their "pet sister" program is totally working for the rest of the country.

Asking someone if they're from Assunta is like a very nice way of saying "Bejeesus, do you look gay. So. Are you?". Lola asked why people keep asking her that.....

Fip, Kit and I went to meet Kat after that. We got around to talking about Lola and how gay she was (Kit called her a gaydar breaker - you see? You see?). Kat agrees.

But we came up with the conclusion that even if she can't look less gay, she should be much flattered, mostly because if she was a girl who looked like some mustachioed duck man on a permanent donut diet, none of us would give a flying crap if she was straight. In fact, we'd encourage her to stay straight, way over that side.

Lainie: Hmm. If only she wasn't straight.
Kat: Not straight. If only she wasn't in denial.
Lainie: Yeah yeah.

But because we think she's hot, we'd much rather have her over on our side. So see? It's a good thing we want you to be gay, Lola.

Lainie: Yar, seriously, wouldn't give a crap if she wasn't hot.
Kat: Yah, she's very hot.
Lainie: Wait, you think she's hot too?
Kat: Obviously. She's hotter than Melina okay*.

[ You have no idea how freaky it is to hear someone who obsessively stalks Melina "because she's so hot" say this. Then again, Justine semi-stalks both Melina and Lola too, so maybe these two come in a set and I should start stalking Melina ]

Lainie: HAH? You think she's hotter than Melina!? Are you serious?
Kat: I have to be fair okay. Lola is hotter.
Lainie: ....O_o

We've actually also discussed Lola's singlehood before (Lola is a fascinating topic for the gay girl, because it's so confusing that she's not gay). We came to the conclusion she'd intimidate many lesser men, because she looks / sounds / probably is too intelligent. So that cuts away a fair bit of the market.

Hehehhee. Watch me traumatise KA's straight friend, Lola, who is not only attracting women instead of men (and laments she'll be single forever), but if she ever did get together with some man, he'd have to face a lynch mob of gay women.

I've told Lola before, I'm convinced a few years down the road, she'll be walking down some road in Bangsar, hand in hand with her girlfriend, and I'll see her and go "OI, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!"

===

I just checked the photos from last night - I think I'm running for "Most Pathetic Stalker In The World" award. I got photos of everyone but Lola.

Then again, I got a video of Ann asking Lola if she's absolutely sure she really is straight. For like, the third time.

Written by lainie at 10:20 PM on May 14, 2006.

I forgot to mention, yesterday, as I was on the phone with Lola, she cut me off saying she had something important to attend to. A few minutes later, she sent me this message

Lola: Sorry about that, were you saying anything important?
Lainie: Ow, my ego.
Lola: Hahaha but no, I meant that in the best way.

Yessssss, sure you did...........I mean, you're not the sarcastic type at all.......

Anyway, I told Lola I met one lesbian who's seen her before and would consider her as looking straight-ish. Lola said she'd buy this rare person a drink.

I said when I list the girls I check out, Lola makes it to the "straight girls" category (Ha. Ha. Ha).

Lainie: And on top of that, I'll buy you a drink. How's that? Now if only we could make you come out with the lesbians again.
Lola: But of course, see you in a million years.

Fuck. I knew I'd pay for all that teasing, somehow.

I don't know why I tell the world when I kena kantoi / FFK / rejected by Lola, I'm pretty sure it does nothing for my market share to look damn unwanted.

====

When Kat picked me up for lunch, she tried to make a U-turn, illegally. There were traffic cops ahead, waving us to go straight. Of course, hardcore lesbian that she is, she refused.
(Old joke - Lesbians cannot drive straight, har har, har har, we are so witty)

Then she argued with the copper after winding down the window. Demanded that if he knew so much, he could jolly well get on his motorcycle and lead the way. Then she argued with the copper again after doing the illegal U-turn anyway. She got a fine for that.

The copper said he rarely hands out summonses. Kat said she hoped he'd hand many out in the future, because that would mean he doesn't take bribes. Copper pointed out that if he was the type to take bribes, he would have asked it long ago, but he never does. Kat said she wouldn't have given him one anyway, but it was good that he was honest.

*shrug*. I just think purposefully commiting a traffic offense, blatantly ignoring the copper's orders not to commit the offense, is just asking for a ticket.

Then again,I was sitting in the car with her ex, and both of us decided that since Kat was in a really foul mood that day, it was better for her to take it out on the copper than on us.

She was in a much better mood after the few minutes yelling at the poor copper.

=====

Anyhow, I'm blogging from Ipoh. It is, after all, Mother's Day. As per usual Ipoh practices, I came home, caught up on gossip, booted up this very computer I am typig from and got very stressed, checked out the huge stack of new novels by my bed, and that is all.

My mother and I will buy very different types of books, but it's all good with me. Someone's gotta buy the books I'm not willing to fork out for.

I wasn't gonna come back to Ipoh, initially. Then Kat said she'd be passing by on the way back to her hometown. I was stinky when I met Kat - dressed in yesterday's clothes, which were smellsome, yesterday's socks, Toejam Essence, unwashed hair, but under a cap so no problems there, I'd like to think.

We went for lunch in this smelly restaurant with no ventilation, and I emerged even more...er, fragrant. Kat drove me home, after I bought dinner from the foodcourt nearby. Of course, I had to get lost. I had nasty flashbacks of coppers teaching me how to get home, which is embarrassing, so I immediately ballsed up and confidently told her to take a couple of turns.

After those turnings, I had to shyly tell her to find the foodcourt again because I had no idea where were (walking distance from my house, sigh).

By the time I got home, the first thing my mother told me was that I was smelly. Yah, mom. Happy Mother's Day. Here's your smellsome daughter, pride and joy, flowers and sunshine, rainbows (plenty) and unicorns, sugar and spice.

I hopefully said it might just be my socks. I took them off. She told me it was just me stinking from far away. Oh well.

I hope I don't have replacement class tomorrow. First of all, I rarely get informed about replacement classes, second of all, I thought today was Saturday and that I'd have plenty of time to get home (whoooops).

Written by lainie at 10:25 PM on May 15, 2006 in Daily Life.

Free Alaa! blogger-activist dude has been arrested, you can sign petition for his release here if you're so inclined.

Right this is what I have so far, taken from the Free Alaa! blog:

Alaa Abd El-Fatah is one of Egypt's most prominent bloggers and free speech advocates. He and his wife Manal run the popular blog BitBucket, which collects posts from dozens of Egyptian blogs and which won a "Best of the Blogs" award in December from Reporters Without Borders (Jeffooi won an award from them too, under Asia category).

On Saturday (May 7), Alaa was arrested with a group of activists during a peaceful demonstration outside a Cairo courthouse. The rally denounced disciplinary hearings for two reform judges and arrests of protestors at previous demonstrations. Alaa and a group of other demonstrators were cornered by Egyptian police, and security agents then apparently handpicked individual protestors for arrest.

Alaa seems to have been targeted because of his high profile: he helps organizes the protests and spread the information through the blog aggregator he runs. He is now being held in notorious Tora Prison — and his arrest seems designed to both shut down his blog aggregator and scare other Egyptian bloggers. But you can send a message to the Egyptian government through the petition below (you can edit the petition text), which will generate an email to political leaders who can secure Alaa's release.

The petition will be sent to:

* Egypt's Ambassador to the US Nabil Fahmy
* Egyptian Prime Minister Ahmed Nazif
* Egypt's Interior Minister Habib El Adly
* US Ambassador to Egypt Francis Ricciardone
* US Assistant Secretary of State David Welch


Tiuloh, so scary kan? Arrested because of the people who hear what you have to say on your blog.

*Glances at Jeffooi*. Funny, he seems okay enough so far.

=====

So my mother took one look (or whiff) at me last night, sent me to the showers.

The next morning she woke me up for a haircut, bought me some pants in the afternoon (she told me my pants smelled funny - I said it was cause I had not washed them ages since I didn't have anything to change into, she looked like she wanted to wash her nose there and then, lalalallalaaaaaaaaa), and a pair of shoes (cause the ones I was wearing are from my competitive-tennis-school-days and smell like fuck).

I think she could not understand how her spawn could peacefully be so skanky.

We had lunch in a Buddhist vegetarian restaurant. The TV was playing some love-the-world and be-good hillsongs, which I thought was totally cool of them, playing messages of love and peace from other religions.

Even if hillsongs are amongst my least favourite things in the world and makes me want to stab eyeballs with my fork. And kill puppies.

Then I realised they were blimmin Buddhist-sing-along songs. Dude, what the hell, I never thought Buddhism would have this sorta stuff. Mom said it was cause religions have to be trendy now.

There is nothing trendy to behold in a video with macro shots of flowers, endless sceneries, and abstract off-angle shots of people praying. Sorry.

====

Then we went shopping for pants. I tried to look in all the women's section, cause everytime I'm at the men's I'd get a bit self-conscious after awhile and move back to the women's (I don't mind either type).

Eventually my mom pulled out a pair of men's pants - she didn't realise it, but heck. So now I'm wearing man pants. Heeeee. Cross-dressing daughter.

The other day Paultan drove me and Cheneille home

Lainie: I'm like, so gonna be butch. Cut my hair short and start cross-dressing.

[ Long silence in car ]

Lainie: Er, you guys do realise I'm kidding?
Cheneille: Oh! You are?
Lainie: -_-" Have you seen the size of my tits? How the hell am I gonna be butch with tits like that?

=====

Nessa drove me around Ipoh. My god, the nerd has a learner's license now.

And now, I have to catch up on my assignments.

Written by lainie at 01:41 PM on May 16, 2006 in Daily Life.

Hi all, can ask you guys for a favour, right? Boleh?

A friend of mine wants to know about dating services (in Malaysia, she doesn't need to cross oceans to find someone....yet), and people who have used these services before.

Have any of you guys here gone for any, and how was it? Like...Well, what happens there? Where was it? Is there a website you can point me to? Can please please please tell me about it ah? It's...uh. Research. Swear.

Cause I remember someone telling me they'd been for one, it seemed alright enough - but of course, I cannot for the life of me remember who. I think it was in the Bangsar area, then again, I may be entirely off track.

My friends don't really read my blog, but I figured maybe one of you readers have gone for one of these things and could help me out.

And I hate that I've been sounding painfully single recently, and now I'm asking about dating services. I SWEAR this is for A FRIEND. Swear. Really really.

*sighs* Oh fuck.
Just tell me if you know anything yeah.

====

Oh, and my second web interview: Dabido interviewed me (I don't think I'm 'femes', but okay).

Written by lainie at 11:00 PM on May 16, 2006 in Daily Life, Stupid, but fun..

I never thought the day would come when I'd do a post like this, but I'm blaming some germs I might have picked up recently. I'm sick, coughing, and my nose is dribbly.

Right, since this is not pleasant at all, let's move on to cuter things. A kitten!

I was at The Curve (at Cafe Delicious), food deprived for so many hours that my legs were trembly. I got a plate of potato wedges that was too much for me, and dip I could barely taste (I make excellent food choices, evidently).

Anyway, as I was eating halfway, I heard a hello. This lil thing was meowing at me.


It didn't like the potato wedges, but seemed to like my company well enough because it stopped scavenging for food, and started climbing up to my lap:


It just looked at me - kitten knew I didn't have food for it, I don't know what it wanted. The people I was with don't like cats, but I thought it was cute as heck:


I skritched its head, which the kitten liked. I got allergy reactions, which I didn't like:


Then it fell asleep on my lap for quite a while. I liked it there, so I didn't move much, even though I was beginning to feel like I wanted to peeeeeeee. Damn kitten. Had to sit on me looking small and cute:


Later when it woke up, I'd been taking photos of my friends and had changed the mode to colour. Side profile kitty camwhore!


It started meowing to me, like it was talking. I responded with clickin the camera.


After its nap, and meowing I didn't understand, it hopped off, playing on the chairs and trees around me:

I know it don't look like a happy kitten, but really really, it was playing around acting all cute when I snapped the photos.

The kitten didn't have good instincts. Its fur colour matches my pants, for gods sake. What if I was wearing an entire outfit made from Delicate Kitten Fur? Fifty of its brothers, hanging off my legs.

Although kittens landing on me are still better than pigeons, I suppose.

And...uh, pigeons used to land on me all the time when I was in primary school - fortunately I've never been shited on by a bird before nothing nasty emerged from that (touch wood touch wood). Butterflies and moths used to confuse me because they'd flutter all over me and stay there (butterfly farms can be weird that way). And those big ass black and white moths, supposed to hold your ancestor's soul or what not, used to land on me too (I was used to them by then, but it creeped other Chinese people out). I figured, better than bees.

That was a phase from few years back though - I figured I must have grown boobs / discovered movement / learned to give out grumpy vibes and subsequently stopped looking like a rock / tree / decorative sculpture / buddha statue / part of landscape, therefore animals stopped using me as a rest station. So this kitten thing was a bit of a pleasant surprise.

'll refrain from making sex-kitten jokes, because that's kinda icky in my dribbly-nose state (as opposed to how wonderful it would be if I were healthy. Right. I make heaps of sense).

Written by lainie at 12:38 AM on May 17, 2006.

.....does not belong to world's greatest balls / poon.

Check it out: World's Greatest Shave *waves hanky* Ohhh Dapppphhhhhneeeeeeeeee...

It'll be so funky if I could get Miss-I-Love-Auditing-I-Was-Born-To-Be-A-Nerdy-Accountant Gazel Yeoh to do it.

Nessa, we have to join forces and get Daph to shave her head. Up for it? The date's past but it's not too late to get at her man.

Written by lainie at 06:06 AM on May 18, 2006 in Daily Life.

This should be good. Paradoxx, can make it down here on a Saturday or not?

May 20 Saturday
No Black Tie
Acoustic evening with award-winning singer-songwriter Shanon Shah on piano and the talented Reza Salleh on guitar.

10.30pm Entrance: rm20

Shanon Shah released his award winning debut Malay-language album, "Dilanda Cinta", in 2005 under InterGlobal Music (M) Sdn Bhd . The ten-track album – with 9 Shanon originals – is available at major music stores. Shanon was given the Best Male Vocal in an Album nod at the recent Anugerah Industri Muzik (AIM 13) for 'Dilanda Cinta'. Shanon was also nominated for Best New Male Artist at this year's Anugerah Planet Muzik, which was held in March in Singapore.

He was also a nominee this year for Best Solo Performance – Instrumental at the 4 th Annual Boh Cameronian Arts Awards for his piano accompaniment and arrangement in Five Arts Center's 'Encore'. However, it all began at No Black Tie for Shanon, when he first played open mic at Songwriter's Round in late 2002. Since then, Shanon has returned many a time to play at No Black Tie, an experience that he relishes every time.


Reza Salleh's Bio
A regular in the KL singer-songwriter circuit for the past 4 years, Reza Salleh brand of melodramatic folk has brought him to the shores of acoustic shows such as Troubadours, Songwriters' Round, Unclogged and Acoustic Jam. Equipped with a baritone voice and the tendency to write dark, heart felt tunes, he is also the organiser of local acoustic show Moonshine and co-organiser of visual arts + musical experimentation show Motion Picture Soundtrack. His influences include anything that came out of Seattle, life in general and black american music.

For reservation please call 21423737 or email noblacktie@gmail.com

=====
aThe only reason I'm typing on the computer is that I need to email Bernice something. I'm reading this Saturday (presumably with Farid, I'm not sure who else). Apparently I have the hard copy, of course I have no idea where it is and as usual I don't have one in my computer.

I mean, I wouldn't be me if I was organised.

Streamyx of course picking the best time to fuck up on me. Cmon, bitch, connect!

=====

Woke up feeling absolutely shite. Even middle of the week days can be as bitchy as a Monday.

Got to class late, forgot to bring the work I'd done - I didn't bother telling Meifei that I really, REALLY did have more sketches at home, because it sounds so pathetic (and untrue).

Like, yknow, it may look like I didn't do any work beyond these few dodgy sketches, but I *really* have like so many back home, conveniently where you can't see them, but I *swear* they exist.

Uhuh.

Wouldn't believe me either.

======

Went to the doctor today - he took my temperature, stared at the thermometer for a really long time, then suggested that I get myself home immediately to rest because my fever temperature was reeeeeeeeally reaaaaaaaaaally high. I was under the impression he stopped short of calling me a moron for going to college today.

Nurse ran out after me with my forgotten sketchbook - only the most important proof in class that I've been doing Meifei's work.

And this is my temperature after finally taking two pills last night, I actually feel better than I did the past few days :/. I hadn't gone to the doctor for my fever, but for my cough which is getting really bad (how the hell am I supposed to read on Saturday?). My voice cracks like a boy's voice changing when I talk. It wavers. Yeah, so sex-ay.

I took the medication immediately upon getting home, and within five minutes I swayed my way upstairs. I was thinking "Wow, funky medicine, it's working really fast". Now that I think it through, might have just been my fever . I couldn't sleep immediately, so through my heaty heaty head, I came up with this bright idea to see "Hey, I wonder if I can still do quadratic equations!".

I am an idiot.

And it's not like I can do them anymore even when I'm healthy. That was the trippiest non-sleep ever. I'm pretty sure I made my fever worse. And got most of the calculations wrong.

So that explains what I've been going through lately - I thought my dodgy sleep patterns were responsible for the horrible response to certain lighting conditions, and the constant prickly cold feeling back of my head, and that THESE TWO were causing the fever (as opposed to the fever just making me feel crap). I was just thinking, hey! I can fight you! You're just a result of a prickly cold head! I don't need medicine!

Where's the logic, I know.

=====

Oh hey. Whaddya know. I do have a copy of that story in my laptop after all. That......IS surprising.

Ugh. I.... hate it. Hah. I don't think I like anything I've written, so fair nuff. I have the crappest spelling in this story "Hellow". And god, no wonder Bernice thinks I am equipped with undiscovered inner rage. Either that, or my inner-jiwangness is coming out.

I tried to read it - voice cracked by first sentence, followed by coughing fit.

Then again, this is perfect excuse to not talk to people.

=====

I'm fucking pissed off. I have to take a short semester in Cenfad - which cuts two months out of my holiday, leaving me with only June to look for work. Who the hell would want someone only free for a month ?

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh. I guess with just a month any old job will do. Fuck.

Streamyx still not connecting, shall take meds and sleep now, screw this.

Holyyy it's the meds its the meds how fricking strong is this?

[ It's 6am and I woke up with a cough. Came down to do some photogrpahy work, then I'm gonna....I don't know what. Take more meds and sleep through the class I'm preparing for? ]

Written by lainie at 04:40 PM on May 18, 2006.

Being sick means I have the average patience of a nervous chihuahua that needs to pee. Except I'm the angry version. Obviously, equipped with superior descriptive skills too....fuck, I called myself a chihuahua.

I've been to class yesterday and today, which is utterly stupid because my fever does not feel any better (in fact, thanks to the cough, it's now coupled with a blimming headache). And I actually have a doctor's letter saying I'm exempted from class both days - can't be helped though, second last week of college, I HAVE to go, and spread my loving germs to the world.

My whole body hurts, my eyes feel like golf balls, my nose has not stopped running since I woke up, it's evening and I've not had time to eat (and therefore, not taken my afternoon dose of medication). My brain feels too big for my head, and annoyingly enough, I don't feel more intelligent (though everything smarts, har har, har har, oh dear god).

And I cannot vent my irritation because I. CANNOT. TALK.

I printed my work for Imaya today, at BB Plaza. I argued with the cabbie the moment I sat inside - the back door was spoilt, couldn't be opened, and my legs were too wobbly to walk the other side, so I sat up front. He brushed the back of his hand against my thigh, and kept it rested there.

I yelled at him to move his bloody hand (and coughed, screaming and sick, I am the most attractive woman who's ever been in his cab, no doubt). He glared at me. Then I pretty much barked out an order for him to get to Kia Peng. Then he started yelling at the cabbies who had been in front and not moved when it was their turn, cause he'd been waiting over an hour. Yeah, whatever. Just get me to college, I have fifteen minutes to hand this in.

Then he yelled at me for not being able to open the back door. I'm already crabby from being sick, I don't give a crap if you're so old you probably have ED, malignant tumours everywhere, and your family's pretty much deserted you - or whatever the fuck your crap story is. So I yelled back.

My throat hurts now. But at least I vented some irritation out on him.

After a while, it was quiet, and I directed him to my college. Stupid old cabbie - croak soon, okay?

=====

And I'm waiting for food to be delivered so I can eat, meds up, hopefully wake up in time to do some work, and not die in class tomorrow. I have a lot of pent up rage from many stupid things that happened today that a sick person should not have to go through with a smile.

So. I'd better not see anyone stupid, I'd kill them. I was pissed off at some guy at the printer's shop just cause his teeth were huge and he thought it was okay to smile and bare them to the world.

I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID. NOT EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL. CLOSE YOUR DAMN MOUTH.

So. Someone throw me at a minister of your choice. Or street mime. Anyone stupid and easy to dislike.

Written by lainie<