Written by lainie at 03:30 PM on September 1, 2006.

How to Exploit Your Child.

I was just thinking of Rachel's nephew, Leonardo. He's a lil tyke (Italian-Malaysian), bright eyes, mischievous look, curly hair, and is at the size where any pants a kid wears looks ridiculously baggy and cute. Leo's about 2 now, I reckon, and Rach shared with me a few ways to exploit children of his age.

Rach told me, though he lives in Italy, Leo is very much a Malaysian. That being said, the first thing I ever heard him demand for was "aqua, aqua, aqua", which is water, but mostly sounded like "bapok bapok bapok" to my Malaysian ears, and I thought Rach had been teaching him to say words so he could be entertainment in parties (Risha's niece can say "What's up, nigga?", and her dad was dead proud). Anyway, the logic behind Leo being in his heart a Malaysian came from this:

Rach: That Leo, so Malaysian. When the rotiman goes by his face lights up.
Lainie: *face lights up* Rotiman!
Rach: Yes! You see? He happier to see the maid and the rotiman than he is to see his parents.
Lainie: That can be seen as quite Malaysian, if you have a maid.

Children being enthusiastic lil creatures of no purpose other than to look cute in photos and keep parents busy for the next few years, I feel Rach's family is on the right track of finding some good use for them.

And I don't know if it's Malaysian to exploit Children (should I check the Rukun?), but goddamn it's fun.

Delivery

If you are hungry, and too lazy to go to the kitchen to get some food because a good show is on the telly...

Rach: Leo, say mango. Say mango. Can you say mango?
Leo: Mango..
Rach: Okay great, now go tell kakak you want mango.

Apparently it backfired because Leo learned to like mango, and Rachel's hoard was finished up by him.

Massage / Hairwash

Another great game that shows Leo's mom has him well-trained. Before giving your hand / arm a massage, he squeezes a lil drop of moisturiser on his finger, dabs it around, then squeezes*. He also does a dry "hairwash", which is essentially a scalp massage. You can giggle at how you're using him for free massages before he grows older and realises it.

*Please do not sexploit children, thank you.

I never had to raise any younger siblings or such, does anyone know of anything else children are good for, other than being ingredients on a barbeque grill? Or telling them to find a big piece of popiah skin and rolling themselves in?

Anyhow. Was just thinking. If you're Malaysian, it doesn't have to do with any grand declarations of how progressive / hardworking / intelligent / honest / fabulous you are. Seriously, try not to pop your spine out patting your own back, those are all the things you should (ideally) try to be regardless of your nationality. That's more about being a good human than being a good Malaysian.

But if you're a good Malaysian, you'd better like the rotiman.

=====

I've been told my interview in New Man magazine is out on sale now.

I hope I don't sound like too much of an idiot (this is me, placing a lot of faith in Chak to be like all other editors I know, somehow imbued with the ability to make me sound like I have my brain switched on when I'm talking).

Written by lainie at 04:48 PM on September 1, 2006.

Because I'm mostly a dumbass, I'm going out late to get tickets for Second Link.

But I did upload a video meanwhile. Yuri, singing Red Dress (available from Troubadours compilation cd, song 3, CD1 of Voices From Next Door.

Link to Yuri - Red Dress video.

Yuri's song is getting awfully popular, people were requesting it (and the cd launch isn't till later...hmm). It's a nice song.

(i just uploaded it, video might take a few minutes to be available)

Written by lainie at 12:08 AM on September 4, 2006.

I hope you didn't miss out on Second Link.

Tei: That was good. I mean, cmon, what was the last play we watched?
Lainie: Uh...Ka Si Pe Cah....(which I enjoyed).
Tei: Okay, but that was Ka Si Pecah, that was good. That doesn't count.

So after Second Link, a few of us emerged feeling "Whew, got hope, Malaysian literature and theatre scene, and hey, the Singaporeans are cool too". I don't know why sometimes us young 'uns seem so jaded, it's not like we don't like anything. It's good to be reminded of what we can do.

Auntyboss saw Tei and the rest of us hanging around near the coffee stand, and snarkily said "Oh look, Bobbsey twin 1, Bobbsey Twin 2, and here's 3, and 4". By the time she was done, Iszie, Zedeck and I had performed a choreographed unity of disappearance to the other end of the crowd. Tei stuck around and we all helped her finish her one cup of coffee later on.

I had a lovely time there, and an opportunity to check out what Singapore theatre has to offer in the form of W!LD RICE, performing Malaysian literature. In return, Five Arts Centre and Actor's Studio collaborated to perform Singaporean literature.

To kick it off, Malaysians performed Edwin Thumboo's "Ulysses by the Merlion", about a wanderer who has traveled far and wide, and seen all great wonders, strange creatures...But never before had he encountered.....(then the screen at the back shows a big picture of the Singaporean Merlion...Spouting water from its happy lion face). Could have been funnier, but still funny enough to be a decent start without going all the way to slapstick.

Was it that far back that Malaysia was showing a lot of Kuo Pao Kun plays? Anyhow, "Descendants of the Eunuch Admiral" was a right laugh, imagining elevated testicles in lil boxes, hung in a room in the imperial palace. And how the hierachy seemed to be reflected on the people seated in the neatly arranged theatre seats.

I don't know what the name of the play with "nations for sale" was? I liked that piece.

I didn't really like much of Felix Cheong's "Nearly Man", except how hilarious it was to see Fahmi Fadzil play a panting lil dog. He cracked me up so long and so hard. I think there's something about people pretending to be animals that amuses me, because later on, when W!ld Rice did "Sang Kancil" I laughed like fuck at every nose twitch (the crocs were a bit dodgily done though).

What can I say about W!ld Rice? After the show Jit Murad came over to talk to someone I know, and he said this

Jit: Damn. Those Singaporeans, they can do everything huh?

Memang pun. a lot of us really liked Gani Abdul Karim's performance in the 2nd act, where he sang Usman Awang's "Uda dan Dara". Beautifully done. And to top it off, bugger can not only sing, can dance, can act, can somersault. And the rest of W!ld Rice is fun to check out too.

[ By the way, Jit Murad is one of Tei's favourite arts person (in Malaysia, or otherwise), and he's next performance is Gold Rain and Hailstones again (I was going to say "he's back", but that would imply there was some time when he was actually gone). ]

Plays about identity ("A Language of Their Own" by Chay Yew) - Chinese people being accused of banana-isms, yellow outside, white inside. It's a matter of how you look at it. Laughs all around when Edwin Sumun declares it's true, he is a fruit.
Zedeck looked over with a raised eyebrow and grin when in a later excerpt (from Chong Tze Chien's "PIE")where Edwin Sumun played a playwright being interrogated (while standing on a chair) over his script, where a Chinese plays a Singaporean-Indian, and he says that race / ethnicity is a social construction, and so is gender. So ber-NGO.

I like watching Edwin Sumun.

Later on, in the Singaporean side, it was mentioned in "Atomic Jaya" excerpt that we have to make the prime minister's children shareholders, give them something to do, or they will go around setting up NGOs. Heh.

Mark Teh's Daulat was fun to watch - also, testimony to how bad my memory is. I was familiar with the text, but can not for the life of me remember where I'd seen it before.

Overall, I preferred the texts by the Malaysians (Ang Tau Mui, in 1969, Daulat, Gold Rain and Hail Stones, Atomic Jaya), but the performance by the Singaporeans. Which means I found the second half more enjoyable than the first. But yknow, it's not a competition, but a collaboration, and I liked the whole bloody thing.

This is not a review. You people don't scare me okay.

After watching Second Link, I was reminded of a discussion Danlim, Meesh and I had some time back. We were talking about how locals sometimes have this perception that the best plays came from other countries. And yet, in reality, which were the most successful plays? Excluding Puteri Gunung Ledang for its marketing budget (even though it is a local story), the most popular / successful ones are not, far as we can tell, a Shakespeare, Beckett or Miller. They ones people remember, talk about, and admired were......local plays.

Just something to think about.

=====

Met up with Kins and Kat, who are planning some new theatre thing and thinking of including me in. It actually sounds kinda cool, so we'll see how it goes. I've never taken part in any theatre-thingie-thingie before, so even some faraway participation is a strange idea for me. Kat also wants me to write a play, but we..shall....seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

Kat said I look butch in the New Man interview, and observed wryly that I wasn't talking very much considering it was an interview (I didn't answer all the questions, and sometimes, I'm just replying to one of Kenny or Joyce's answers, not the question itself).

My interview for Off The Edge has been bumped to another issue, because apparently I've been appearing in too many publications at a go -_-". I'd asked Danlim (who called me just as I was browsing through the magazine)

Lainie: I'm not in the issue?
Danlim: Really?
Lainie: Yeah.
Danlim: Oh................(very small voice)....sorry.

Then Meesh later called me and I told her the same. She apologised profusely, checked up with her editor, and apparently also called Dan where they both kinda freaked out.....? I was embarrassed when Meesh told me this because I had a passing curiosity as to what happened (I thought maybe they needed the page for an advert / other feature) and they thought I was gonna be pissed off at them for being excluded from the section.

Then Meesh said because maybe I'd told heaps of people I'd be in the magazine and now I wouldn't -_-". I don't think I told more than 5 people amongst my friends, and only mentioned it here once or twice, so I wasn't too worried about that (and if someone out there actually bought an issue for my interview, hey! It's a good mag to read anyway).

Anyhow, Meesh said my piece is gonna be in another issue, so we'll see how it goes, don't really know what's happening either.

=====

Stayed over with Tei two nights in a row again. She's going through a time where Kat and I are trying to make sure she has company at night. We'd gone to Loft with Iszie and Zedeck after watching Second Link.

I didn't know why I was so disconnected in Loft, I didn't even have a lick's worth of alcohol. I think it started when I was crossing the road to get to Zouk, and two men ahead were wearing extremely heavy cologne, so entered the club with an allergy reaction starting, and slowly got dizzier there.

By the time we were done and stood outside, I was breaking out into cold sweat and my legs were trembling, so I propped myself up against the wall, and eventually just sat down.

I figure it was probably cause I couldn't breathe properly in the smoky club after that (Ywenna was telling me she gets the same nauseous reaction in No Black Tie because it's so smoky, though I can take the smoke levels in NBT- adding hastily that she wasn't wearing any perfume while standing next to me ). I rather suspect that's the case because it's not the first time just being in a club has made me dizzy. But.....no. That would so suck.

By the time we left my face was pale, and at the supper place (where I did not eat because for once, pork had the nastiest, chokiest smell in the world), I got up, headed off to the toilets, and threw up. Bleh. I expected to feel better after that because doing that after drinking helps sober you down, but nah. Throwing up when sick just confirms that you feel shitty. It was interesting to watch my hands shake though because my fingers looked weirdly twitchy.

Kat dropped me and Zedeck off at Tei's place, where I knocked off immediately after taking some Panadol. What a cheap night that was, entered Loft for free, didn't drink alcohol, didn't eat supper, ate someone else's Panadol and slept in someone else's bed.

Woke up the next day feeling fine, and Zedeck got an idea on how difficult it is to wake Tei up. Went to Raju's for lunch and after that I went with Kat for the DiGi Prepaid MTV Powerpack Presents Special Finale Outdoor Concert
gig at The Curve.

====

Stayed over with Tei again after that. We talked a lot, and we agree with each other on a lot of things (but Kat says that's cause we're both Taureans). Now we want to find someone from a different star sign who thinks like we do.

Lazyhead refused to budge from bed again, and I was starting to get hungry (it was past 3pm, and I wanted lunch). Woke her up by eventually waving a handmirror in front of her face (her bed hair inspires her to wake up).

Tei: Argh no!! Okay, okay, I'll wake up.

[ Promptly dozes off again ]

Lainie: After the mirror, comes the camera....

[ Promptly wakes up ]

=====

Zedeck told us he was house-sitting for Jo Kukathas the next few days, and that she'd stocked up her liquor cabinet. Tei and I had a depressing conversation about that.

Tei: Did you know, Zedeck is housesitting for-
Lainie: - I was there when he told you, remember?
Tei: So you know, I was thinking, we could go over -
Lainie: And-
Tei, Lainie: raid her bookshelf.

[ Pause ]

Lainie: She restocked her liquor cabinet, and we're talking about raiding her bookshelf.
Tei: I know. This is so sad. But she probably has so many good books.
Lainie: I know. With our own photocopy machine, we could totally just steal everything.
Tei: Why aren't we talking about her alcohol collection?

Zedeck later pointed out a simple solution we missed. Alcohol AND piracy at the same time. That makes so much sense. But I'm still thinking of her book collection....It must be lovely..............

Kat asked me if I knew any musicians for a Chinese theatre production her friend is coming up with. We have a list, but I ended up asking Iszie to do it.

Think it'll be funky to go for a play where Iszie did the music, if it happens.

Written by lainie at 11:12 PM on September 4, 2006 in Daily Life.

I didn't go to college today. After nearly beheading myself getting out of bed by wrenching my body off it while my face was still stuck to the pillow - I decided I really, absolutely deserved to lie in the rest of the day and dream of painkillers.

Ow, my neck. Sprained neck muscle + Period = Generally grumpy.

Actually, the morning was filled with really painful neck cricks, but I was seriously contemplating going to college since I had two assignments due. Thank goodness for email, solved the problem that way instead.

I can't say I did a great job, but considering I don't have what I need here for Digital Design class (meaning I can't just whip out a brush and paint what I need), I think I did alright....Under the circumstances.

Those assignments are never going to see what the inside of a portfolio looks like.

======

Was watching "Grave of The Fireflies". I try not to watch animes or cartoons around people I'm not familiar with because it's crazy how much they make me cry.

Bastards.

Anyhow, I don't have a scanner so I took photos of the New Man blogger's interview - it appeared in the "geek" issue. Ahem.

Here it goes:





top pic: Kennysia, Joyce, Jeffooi, me.

Yup.

Written by lainie at 07:38 PM on September 5, 2006 in Links / Email.

From my email:

Dear friends,

Greeting of peace and solidarity from Youth For Change (Y4C)!

Thanks for your support to Alternative Course on Ethnic Relations. Your efforts and enthusiastic to join this program is much appreciated. This is the alternative channel for the young people to engage in dialogue between different students. We believe the young people in Malaysia have a ability to discuss, debate and exchange about the issues of ethnic relationship that always been considered as sensitive issues.

Y4C would like to invite you to attend the FINAL CLASS of the Alternative Course on coming 7th September (Thursday). Following are the details of the program:

Topic : The Future Nation & Ethnic Relations

Speaker: Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim
Date : 7th September 2006 (Thursday)
Time : 8.30pm - 10.30pm
Venue : Kuala Lumpur Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall ( KLSCAH), near the Maharajalela Monorail Station

Anwar Ibrahim was elected Deputy President of UMNO and appointed Deputy Prime Minister in 1993. His interests in the role of culture led him to organize in 1995-1998, a series of conferences on the Asian Renaissance, aimed at crossing geo-political barriers between societies and nations and creating political structures to promote dialogue across cultures and civilizations.

In 1996 he was awarded the Presidential Medal by Georgetown University, Washington DC and honorary doctorate by the Ateneo de Manila University, the Philippines, for his contribution in promoting inter-religious understanding.

He was sacked from the government on September 2, 1998, later stripped of his party membership and incarcerated on 20 September on trumped-up charges. He regained his freedom in September 2, 2004 after acquittal by the Malaysian Federal Court.

He is currently member of the Executive Scientific Committee of the Fondazione Laboratorio Mediterraneo (FLM) in Naples. The major initiative launched recently is Mediterranean, Europe and Islam: Actors in Dialogue.

Do not miss out the opportunity to meet Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim. More importantly, you can exchange with him about the issues of ethnic relationship and his personal views.

Feel free to contact the Y4C secretariat at y4c2006@gmail.com or Khai Loon 013-3970519 or Yee Ling at 012-7355025 for any further information. Hope to see you and bring your friends to come along on 7th September.

Cheers,
Khai Loon

Convener of Y4C
013-3970519

Written by lainie at 12:21 AM on September 6, 2006 in Daily Life.

Hi.

No blog update today because I have heaps of assignments due (eeeeeek) and the few daily minutes I set aside for my blog has gone to replying the long comments here.

Written by lainie at 03:47 PM on September 6, 2006 in Stupid, but fun..

I was wondering why Wikipedia (something I rely on way too much) did not list the Bunga Rafflesia as a plant that grows in Malaysia. So I headed on over to the WWF Malaysia website and found this:

"As Rafflesia is found in only a handful of localities, its long-term survival is now seriously threatenend by the depletion of the Malaysian rainforest."

Get real, WWF. The only thing not threatened in this country are shopping malls.

Speaking of shopping malls, we like "The Curve" because it sounds better than "The Straight". This does absolutely no justice to our sense of humour, which is undoubtedly more refined than this (we sit around sipping tea and cracking wittisms ala Dorothy Parker / Oscar Wilde, honest).

Kat mentioned she wanted to hang out there to "soak up the sunshine". At first, Tei and I were appalled. What happened to ol'fashioned sporty tennis? Beaches? Where would the girls in skimpy bikinis go, if everyone thought like Kat?

"What meaning you, hang out in mall for sunshine?"

Tei and I thought about it, and eventually, after realising girls in malls were dressed in skimpy outfits resembling lingerie anyway, we agreed that malls are a logical, very Malaysian thing to build.

A big box, where people can hang out together, and get a tan.

Of course, Malaysians don't like to sweat, so preferably, there'd be good air-conditioning. And where there isn't, a lot of ceiling fans. And since these good people will get thirsty, it makes sense to set up like, 50 cafes so they can brag about drinking mojitos and sangria at 2pm.

And since all these people can't possibly be getting skin cancer / killing their livers ALL THE TIME, we put some shops around them, so they can wander and spend more money (but possibly not as much money as the people who pay rent).

So there you have it. Malaysia has a mall culture because we like to soak up the sun in air-conditioned boxes.

Written by lainie at 07:05 PM on September 7, 2006 in Stupid, but fun..

Mmhmmm, and what's this I hear that some magazines are receiving official letters to not print anything related to gay and lesbians........?

What, will reading about gay people make those innocent 'uns out there gay? You mean that works? REALLY?



Well wonderful! Read my blog!

Extremely important: DON'T EVEN BLINK.

gay rainbow gay parade gay sexy gay broadway gay gay gay gay lalala gay godless sodomites gay gay happy elves gay gay wheeeee!!






.....Are you gay yet?

====

Nothing says "Awwwwwk-waaaaard" like realising some man is trying, not very discreetly, to look up your skirt while you're hiding your face behind a magazine and eating lunch, at the mamak round the corner........

So finally you look over your magazine. He realises you've noticed him and looks up. You catch each other's gaze, and, internal monologues go something like this:

Lainie: EW?

Neighbour: Holy SHIT, it's my neighbour!

Why do I have such dodgy neighbours? WHY? Luckily I sat with my knees touching, feet on the ground. I didn't go to an all girls school and spend nearly half my life in pinafores for nothing man. Phew.

=====
I'm so screwed, I realised last minute I have an article due.....tomorrow. Last minute scramble for people to interview. Compile later on.

And type into the next morning.

Sigh.

Written by lainie at 05:02 AM on September 8, 2006.

As usual, when I have too many deadlines my brain goes numb and I turn to Wikipedia for some distractions. Don't ask me why I was at a page about the ISA for distractions, just rest assured something in there successfully cramped my mind.

Seriously man, this is so bizarre. Sharing is caring?

=====

The fifth Prime Minister of Malaysia, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, went on the record in 1988 to state "If we want to save Malaysia and Umno, Dr Mahathir (then Prime Minister) must be removed. He uses draconian laws such as the Internal Security Act to silence his critics."

The year before, he had also stated "Laws such as the Internal Security Act have no place in modern Malaysia. It is a draconian and barbaric law."

[ Hooray BADAWI! But...... ]

In 2003 when he became Prime Minister, however, Abdullah called the ISA "a necessary law," and argued "We have never misused the Internal Security Act. All those detained under the Internal Security Act are proven threats to society."

[ Ei, tiu what the fuck? Where'd Badawi go? That in itself is icky, but here comes the extra icky part, people ]

President George W. Bush said "The Internal Security Act is a draconian law. No country should any longer have laws that allow for detention without trial."

In 2004, however, Bush reversed his stance and claimed "We cannot simply classify Malaysia's Internal Security Act as a draconian law.", likely due to the events of September 11, 2001, and subsequent creation of the PATRIOT Act (based on Malaysia's ISA).

===

Like, can you say it with me?

HOLY SHIT!

Written by lainie at 12:22 AM on September 9, 2006.

I told Kat I accidentally sent a message for her, to Nicole (Rhapsody) instead.

Kat: You have to be careful okay.
Lainie: Hah? No, it's normal. I've done it to her a few times I think.
Kat: I mean, if you keep doing that Nicole will think you purposely do, because you like her. Want to kacau her, hit on her.
Lainie: WHAT THE FUCK??

Wow. In that case, I've hit on almost everyone in my phonebook. Even my parents, I think, once or twice.

====

My phone rang today, but I missed the call. It was from Lola. So obviously, I returned the call.

Lainie: Yes master?
Lola: Haha...where were you?
Lainie: Huh?
Lola: Why didn't you answer my call?
Lainie: You see, I was flying through mid-air, across the room, towards the phone - when you hung up.

I was told that I was useless. Fine, I was actually daydreaming and didn't realise my phone was beeping. Then again, this is coming from someone I was talking to because, dear god, she wanted another gay woman's phone number (for an assignment, but still).

You know how I got that number? I used Google. Lalala, technology.

WHY would I give my stalkee a gay woman's phone number, unless it is part of my insidious plan to make her see the light (all 7 colours).

Then again, I suppose better a gay woman than a man. Or. Wait. But no, men are bad. Maybe a gay woman is better. No wait, the man. No. Uh. Wait. Okay okay the man is better! No. The woman.

Okay, suddenly the idea of keeping some people in cardboard boxes, isolated from the world, so appealling. Or, just leave her in a world of flaming gay men.

====

I've survived on so little sleep the past few days, I haven't accumulated enough hours for, say, a decent evening nap while it rains outside. Which is something I shall fix today! Rah rah rah!

As I was walking to the train station last night, I did what I always do: Daydreamed.

It's probably why I don't mind so much having to walk everywhere if it isn't too hot, I mostly live in my head anyway. I was thinking of different graffiti I had seen recently - some people I know have been hitting an area, and it's not bad looking.

I tripped over a tiny pothole in the road (is this where I say, "damn samy vellu!"?). Which in itself is not that surprising. The awful thing is, I've tripped over this SAME POTHOLE FIVE TIMES THIS YEAR.

And by five times, I'm only counting the times where I've sprained my ankle / had blood drawn. And yes, I mean only this year. I've even sprained my ankle at this pothole before my last ankle sprain from it was healed.

I never learn, evidently.

At least I wasn't wearing heels this time around, so the ankle sprain wasn't that bad. Being largely stubborn, I refused to admit my ankle was sprained (though my other knee hurt).

This morning it cricked when I tried to walk on it, so I had no choice but to hobble, which is so uncool. Then I find out today that Bernice sprained her ankle last night too, so we both hobbled along looking silly.

Bernice: This is actually kinda funny.
Lainie: Are you kidding?? (is anyone watching this? oh my god, get me into the car, quick!)

Met up with Kat - Yesterday was KevinBrokenscar's last gig before he heads off to Melbourne.

I hung round near the bar, where CJ, Ben, Azmyl and CK were. CK and Ben always heckle at the shows. While Kevin was talking about the beaches, one of them yelled out "Watch out for stingrays!". Haiyo salah.

CK was drunk (though he denied it) and kepited my head in his arm a few times. Then he saw me trying to take a video of Kevin performing, and started poking my face with his hand. I tried smacking him off but eventually got a finger deep in my ear, which was gross (not because of his contact with my earwax) since it felt like....Uh. It just felt icky.

(what's the English word for kepit? I'm so groggy I can't recall).

After the gig, came home, changed into shorts and nearly frightened myself when I had to peel my pants off my extremely bloodied right knee. My pants are kinda waterproof, so I guess that's why the blood didn't seep through.

Kicked up a fuss (or rather, a fussy internal monologue), freaked out - and calmed down when I realised the actual wound was much smaller than the patch of blood. But still, ow

Booted up computer - interviewed a bunch of people, wrote an article that probably made my editor's eyes water to read it, slept two hours, went for Bernice's class today where we didn't do anything because the facilities in college fail us quite frequently.

That, was my last class for the semester, though I still have a backlog of Bernice's assignments due. About 20 film reviews, and a research paper by next Friday, oh har har har har har har.

Came home, did a bit of my poster before my classmate informed me class was going on right now, so our poster was also due right now.

I hate how I get information last minute on when replacement classes are just because I don't have regular internet access. Half my class wasn't even in KL (few of them were in Sabah / the beach), so I didn't see it coming.

Had to rush to the printer's where it's RM50 cheaper than in KL for a poster as big as the ones we had to design for class.

I spent about three hours in a car today, just stuck in traffic jams.

Because I had to rush my poster so I could hitch a ride with Bee to the printer's (can you imagine what three hours of cab fare would cost, otherwise?), I think I did a veeeeeeery shoddy job. I couldn't do the concept I wanted because the computer I used could not handle the workload, and I didn't have any fonts.

And let's face it, I can only do so much in ten minutes.

So I changed the concept to a quotation, using Courier because that's the usual typeface they used for scripts in screenplays (that I've noticed, anyhow). And.........................................Found a quote against censorship, and ganked it.

Sigh. And because I'd recently written something about censorship, my idea was to have this empty space where people would be invited to write anything they please, and also to erase / modify anything that was already written on the space.

And in that way, they will learn to be responsible for what they say, and that even if they are, if they are censored by others based on someone else's personal opinion of what is right or wrong, they will learn how silly it is to allow censorship based on...well, that. Which I think people know anyway, but just to kick at their ego a bit more, yknow. Because I'm nice.

Okay, there was actually more to the idea, but I....Yeah.

(well, that's a very IDEAL situation, but like I said - ten minutes. I had to completely rehaul my assignment from the "typography assimilation with architecture and water" concept).

Actually, when Bee had told me the poster was due, RIGHT AS HE WAS CALLING ME, I panicked. Then I worked fast as I could, and within ten minutes called him to see if he had already left for the printing shop. Fear can be so inspirational, forget Sappho - Good ol solid fear was the 10th muse.

Not having a laptop to use for work is a most inconvenient thing.

=====

I'm going to Carey Island for the Mah Meri showcase tomorrow. I'm quite looking forward to it - the event, not writing the article about it, being largely intimidated by the idea of...Uh. Writing.

Zedeck: So, when can we expect your article?

Hmph. Just cause somebody's now the assistant editor of Kakiseni...................

======

Tonight, I went for a play I think should be worth your time, so consider hitting it. It's at Stor (small theatre beside the main Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka building), and I entered by donation (students RM10, get cute lil cup in return).

It's written and directed by Nam Ron, who has done manymanymany things - most recently something I liked called Ka Si Pe Cah, but is probably most easily recognised as......the dog petting bilal in Gubra. Heh.

It's called Laut Lebih Indah Dari Bulan. It's in Malay, yes (and was it just me, or did the accent sound kinda...........curlier?), but if I can understand it then you should be able to as well.

It's a monologue by this woman. Apparently, this is a story related to another monologue previously shown in the Kakiseni Cammies Awards show - In that one, we see a fame seeking girl who meets the wrong man and eventually, she dies.

In tonight's play, we meet the wife of said wrong man.

There was a dramatic scene where she stood in a red basin filled with water, darkness all around with a spotlight shining on her. She takes a cup, and pours water on her head.

I am sorry to ruin what was undoubtedly a meaningful scene in the play, but I couldn't help thinking of a plant, growing it's own food...and watering itself.

Incidentally, I found out the actress had about one week to rehearse the script before staging this - which I thought was...Woah.

3pm and 8.30pm on Sunday (today lah). Think about it?

And now, I SLEEP!

Written by lainie at 01:48 AM on September 10, 2006 in work?.

Ow. My knee's scabbing over, I can't kick / squat / shave my beard.

Taking photographs was a bit of a pain because I felt like a big wall constantly blocking other people's view of the stage. Mah Meri performance was pretty cool. I was the only media person there today.

[ I actually think it's really weird to call myself a 'media person', and usually I don't, but that's the category I get lumped into when I go for events ]

I just realised since Pang has left Kakiseni, I didn't confirm with Kathy, the new editor, that I was going to cover tonight's Digi event - but I assume I'm still supposed to, since no one told me otherwise. Errr...

Someone there had a baby civet, and allowed me to hold it. Tiny thing curled up neatly into my palm, and I automatically overdosed on ohmygodsooooocute-gushiness as I petted it. Really, it was kinda disgusting how I liked it, considering I don't even appreciate humans as much. For some reason, I kept expecting it to pee on my hand, a paranoia I have with all animals I hold.

It slept through everything, no matter who touched it, tickled it's ear, moved its limbs about for a nice photo pose. Kinda like Tei, not that I'm suggesting that in my vast collection of "Embarrassing Tei Photos" are there any of her in ridiculous positions because I took advantage of the dead sleep she goes into.

And....It's been a long day, I need to sleep. Good night, all.

Written by lainie at 01:35 AM on September 11, 2006 in Links / Email.

Hello people, a friend of mine is having a free movie screening this Friday at Monash, not particularly out of generosity, but for her university project:


Click on flyer to see large version, complete with details and..uh....a lotta faceless naked women. For those too lazy to click on the pic above (gay men, this way please):

Time: 11am - 2pm
Date: Friday ,September 15th 2006
Venue: Lecture Theatre 3
Address : Monash University Malaysia (where Sunway College is lah).

She needs people to watch the movie DEBS, some action / comedy film with lesbians in it, and then answer some survey-ish, questionnaire-ish thingie.

She's studying lesbians. In Hollywood. So it's glamourous lesbians.

And, I should probably mention this, she's not looking for a gay audience, hence we're watching "DEBS", which is the fun type, and not some "Slit My Wrists" lesbian art film, screw the emo-lesbian niche market.

Couldn't help but notice, one of the lesbians in this show is called Amy. The only other one I can think of (fine, she's bi, but whatever) is the Amy from Chasing Amy. Mmm.

Will be there for the screening, will be dragging some of you more fortunate friends there via emotional blackmail. All others free to join in for the show, come come. Far as I know, all welcome.

Or at least help spread the word, bitches. Stamp some naked people on your blog, because yous love me!

Right?

Written by lainie at 03:00 PM on September 12, 2006 in Daily Life.

Yesterday, Meesh called to invite me to a forum she was going to write an article about - I only knew that Malik Imtiaz was somehow involved in it, and that it would be about the sad state of judiciary in Malaysia.

So in total, the first forum I was ever gonna attend was on a topic I had almost no knowledge about, and the only speaker I knew of is "Dude Who Gets Death Threats". Actually, I can't really remember, have I ever been for anything like this before?

I left the forum feeling like I didn't learn anything, except that our Minister of Law says it's not an issue being talked about in cabinet (which it most likely isn't, since it's an issue about the JUDICIARY, and he's not bringing it up and he's the minister of LAW). Wokay.

I didn't know what to expect, but basically, onstage, 5 speakers and a chairperson sat behind a long table. Around me, in the crowd (I sat in the 2nd row, which may look bersemangat, but the effect somewhat ruined when you go pee), were a lot of people who looked my dad's age. Immediately felt out of place, Meesh and I were stared at.

Turns out it was organised by DAP, the forum "1988 Judicial Crisis - To Review or Not", and Malik Imtiaz, Karpal Singh, Mr Yeo Yang Poh, Lim Kit Siang, Tommy Thomas and...jeng jeng jeng....Nazri Aziz (list that makes more sense available here).
It's weird, I remember Nazri as the dude in an Off The Edge article, and I was mostly wondering how he got away with saying half the stuff he did.

Nazri was the only one said he didn't want a review for the 1988 thing, making the forum quite a "Hentam Nazri" session.

The forum was weird. When the session was opened to the floor, some old dude went up to the microphone to address Nazri, he was angry that Nazri was saying he wasn't convinced that a review was necessary:

Ol Dude: And please, Young bald ol' mat, blablabla...

Wahlaowei, I had read that all these political forums could get kinda rude, but just cause Nazri's got a shiny bald head doesn't mean you pick on it like it's a bad thing, that's just mean. Besides, that (non)hairstyle suits him.

On the other hand, it's kinda cool that you have the balls to go up to the microphone, and call the Minister of Law a "young bald ol malay chappie".

Took me like a few speakers down the line to realise he had been saying "Yang Berhormat". Let me get something out of the way, please. I have no idea how to use titles. Obviously.

All those "Your honourable" and "Seri" and "Dato" and "Datuk" stuff confuse the hell out of me, since I don't really know of anyone who regularly use their titles - I mean, I know titled people, sure (I guess most people do?), but no one actually uses them.

I don't even know what the titles MEAN for god's sake, it literally sounds like "The Honourably Shiny Grandfather" to me. I mean, doesn't Seri mean "berkilat"? Or........Is there a reason I came really close to failing my Bahasa paper in SPM?

No but seriously, what does Seri mean?

[ Edit: Oh well, excuuuuuuse me, Cari.com.my says Seri means "Brilliance". Still sounds like Shiny to me ]

[ Edit: Wait! Wait wat wait! People, it probably means Splendour. Ahhhh.....Suddenly, world makes more sense. ]

=====

There was this student of law in UKM, who remarked upon the "1988 Judicial Crisis" as such - That it was the worst time in legal history, and it was awful, wrong, blablabla, blablabla, it was a mistake.

And he went on to say that therefore, since it was so bad, we should NOT have it reviewed - KEEP the mistake where it is, instead of FIXING it, just so we can look back and ADMIRE what a fucking bad time it was, and thus learn from our previous mistakes.

Ei hello, "not doing anything" about mistakes is not called "learning from them", okay? I leaned over to Meesh while he was talking and whispered

Lainie: I think he's going to fail his law course.....

What a screwed up sense of logic that law student has, I can't say I agree with it. Then again, Nazri said he liked that dude and joked that he wanted the address and phone number to get to know him better.

I don't think I'm going for any more forums, the less I know about politicians, the more at ease I am X_X

=====

I'll upload sound files from the forum in a while, not for you people but because Meesh needs them for her article.

You can read Lim Kit Siang's forum speech here, if you're so inclined.

Written by lainie at 04:15 PM on September 12, 2006 in Stupid, but fun..

Cheneille, Fireangel and Lainie. Competition Menggeli.

When three single girls with nothing better to do procrastinating from their work keep changing their MSN nicks in a competition to Out-Geli the other, many comments ensued amongst each other - mostly along the lines of "OMG!", "WTFFFFFFFFFF", "That's not fucking romantic!", "Damn romantic, okay" and "wahahhha, take that, SUCKERS!"

I think my contacts on MSN probably think I'm crazy.

Here are some of the titles we came up with, some of them are answers to each other -

Lainie:

You are the pink sugar in my fluffy cotton candy

You are the joyful wag in my dog's tail, the cutesome twitch of a hamster's nose.

you are my 2000 comments, boinged boinged digg and technorati top100

i have a fish tank and all the fishes are named after you. The fishtank is your name. THE WORLD IS NAMED AFTER YOU

i love you so much i tattooed your name on my eyeballs and lips.

i chop my left limbs off and give to you.

i spread your toejam on my bread.

i love everything you are so much, i'd even do your greatgrandmother to prove it.

i love you so much i dont breathe around you, so you can inhale more oxygen and glow...

you are my sex drugs rock and roll

I'll play doctor and nurse with you forever

for you, my flesh, living, dead, cooked or diced.

people take drugs to feel near you. I'm addicted to you.

when i laugh, the image of your beautiful face reflects in my teeth, and my eyes shine like the diamonds of your soul

i know where you've been because flowers bloom, birds sing, and people faint at your beauty

You are the bank for my love deposit.

i dream of you even when my eyes are open

through your beauty i am rich

your sweat is holy water, your voice, a choir of angels

when i blink love fluttters out of my eyelids to where you are

for you i'll kill anyone you want, and make a bouquet of roses from their hearts.

if you died, i'll die with you so we can spend the rest of our afterlife together, as we did when we were on earth

i was, am and will be your slave of love, forever and ever and ever!!1!111oneoneoneyat

i love you

i love you so much love is not enough

Sex would be GREAT, thanks.

Fireangel:

you are the petrol in the engine of my heart

you are the rainbow sprinkles in my jelly doughnut

you are the chemotherapy that healed my cancer

i cum at the mere mention of your name

i say your name out loud in my porn videos

i want to cut out my skin and put it on yours, so I can feel every inch of you.

i want to be your dildo, to be the only reason you'll ever cum

i love you so much i want to be YOUR oxygen DAMNIT, INHALE ME AND MAKE ME ONE WITH YOU

i'll eat your cancer.

for you, I'll EAT MY HEART, so there will NEVER be another.

i made the doctors to intravenously transfer my blood into your heart so i'll always be close to you.

fuck you bitches, i have work to do okay.

I'll break my bones and cut my flesh to make them into soup for you so u'll never starve.

i stole your dna so i could have your children.

phew

spent.

omg. i'm dying here okay wtf stoppppppp

you are my wealth.

i want to BE your sweat, bitch.

if you died, i'll have no reason to live. (WHY ARE WE NOT DONE YET)

i'll be that speck of dust in your universe. as long as i'm IN your universe.

for you, i'll sit through the ENTIRE collection of Barney.

actually, i dont love you. I just wanted to get into your pants. END.

Cheneille:

you are the morning dew on my rose petals

you are like a drowning man's first breath of fresh air

you are more than 2000 comments. you are the very reason i blog, and live for the matter.

you don't mean the world to me. you mean the entire milky way, and even the milky way's beauty pales in comparison to you.

I wish I was a cat, so I could die 9 times for you.

you are more enchanting than leonardo's MonaLisa and more touching than Van Gogh's starry night.

I'LL HELP YOU DIG YOUR NOSE SO YOU CAN HAVE MORE OXYGEN

i'll sell my flesh, my blood, and my organs, just for one glimpse of you.

i'll stick my right hand in the fire just so the pleasure i get from u touching my left is intensified.

I bought your shampoo, your shower gel, your perfume, and your lotion, just so I can smell you on me.

if i were a star, i'd be willing to shine for you forever, even if your gaze remains elsewhere

i don't care if they send me to a mental asylum; i know i hear my heart crying for you every second

If I can only be with you in my dreams, then I wish to sleep forever.

the only reason i'd want to be rich is to buy all cameras and films in the world and take countless pictures of you.

your sweat quenches my thirst

i have drowned again and again in your beautiful eyes, those dark abysses.

i wish i was a liliputian, just so i can never finish kissing your soft lips

i would cut out the tongues of your enemies and make them into a bed for u, only ur so lovely nobody has ill thoughts of u.

we've already been lovers for 50 past lives, let's not stop anytime soon.

i want to be the deli man who makes your breakfast, the maid who cleans your underwear, the masseuse who pleasures you.

You are the epiphany of love.

Shakespeare's sonnet 18 is not even 1.8% of how I feel about you.

SEE THOSE TWO? THEY WANT TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS! Me, I want to get into your heart. I love you baby.

=====

Ahah. Cmon, yknow you want to join us (this is kinda fun).

God we all need to get laid, have pity already.

Written by lainie at 07:12 PM on September 13, 2006 in Stupid, but fun..

Written by lainie at 03:59 AM on September 16, 2006 in Daily Life.

Damn, already? Days have been zipping by like they're powered on speed, lots of it.

Anyhow, happy birthday again Malaysia, and like Rauf said, "you don't look a day over 20".

====

Went for a play "Goldrain and Hailstones", acted out by Jit Murad and Lin Jaafar.

At first I was rather dreading the ticket prices, at RM47(!) a pop for students. Then Zedeck told me the good news - Kakiseni had complimentary tickets to spare. Whew.

Yknow, our lil group of six - Zedeck, Iszie, Juliet, Rauf, Tei and I - was all decked out in black attire, quite a few people commented on it. Entirely by chance too (then again I only wear like six tshirts, and 4 of those are black and look the same :/).

Considering the black clothes, long hair, and eyeliner we had between us, we WISH we there was a goat to run around behind us, so we could pretend to be black metal rockers - nope, still not over the "Goatgate" jokes.

Actually, we were worried we'd look like the "Kakiseni bitch squad", traveling in packs wearing pretentious black clothes, out to write a nasty review, or something. Really, we're very, very nice. Just oh, world, you do not understand ME!

Anyway, watching the play just reinforced the few beliefs Tei and I share - especially "Don't think so much".

Lin Jaafar's character, Amy, going on and on and on analysing everything she could without ever finding peace....Tei and I were staring in horror / fascination at this.....caricature........of so many women we know. Aieee. People like that make me want to offer them drugs and spike their drinks with Prozac / Valium / peace-like pills.

[ you know what's freaky? Typing alone downstairs in near darkness past 3am (the dogs are sleeping, switching on too many lights disturbs them), and the fish in the fishtank facing me. Staring. With it's mouth gaping open. And fish don't blink. If it doesn't stop this and swim away soon, I'm making fishballs just to piss it off. ]

Rauf told me he was going to be Prime Minister, and that the first policy he'd declared was "Throw money in Zedeck and Lainie's faces". And I can have any two states I want. Hey man, you totally got my vote, I'm totally for sale.

I was originally going to vote for Tei, who would make me Finance minister (ha ha ha ha, national bank, gimme!), but I figured two states could totally work too. Tei called me cheap because I changed sides so easily.

After the play Juliet drove her car in the wrong direction around most of KLPac's car park, because we're such hip rule breaking people - we taught her the "put a WAO sticker on car window if you're driving like crap so people you piss off would go there" - preferably, proceed to wind down the window and yell out stuff like "Sorry! I'm looking for my office headquarters, any idea where WAO is?".

We're unfair, I know. Then I complain that feminists think I hate them. No lah, much love, much love.

Went for beef noodles supper where Juliet told this lame joke about polar bears blinking in the snow, and I out-lamed her with my handpuppet, Oscar. I can outlame a lotta people.

=====

Stayed over after that with Iszie and Tei.

It's fun to have Isz over because we like her company, but I think she didn't know what to do with the two of us insisting on trying to make her comfortable by giving her cushions and opening her canned drinks and holding things for her and.....You get the general idea?

At the rate we were going, if we could, what she wanted would be in front of her before she could stick out her hand and ask for it.

Like, the magic of, "you sit back and be the girl guest, and we be macho and do everything for you" - except....haha, that so doesn't work with me. But hey. Also, you do realise we're actually just making fun of that whole 'macho' thing right? We just didn't want her to have to do anything but talk with us....................Er.

Our idea of entertaining Iszie was...... to put on a Carpenters CD, then take turns reading out loud to her from this old Malay book that Tei has. Sejarah Filem di Malaysia - about the history of Malaysian television.

Lainie: We get Iszie into the room, and we're reading to her from a textbook?
Tei: I know, Lains.

Oh, we're sexy that way.

=====

Later in the evening, after Iszie left, we went to Auntyboss' house briefly...I eyed her bookshelf and borrowed 4 books, naming Tei's head as my guarantee. I don't think Auntyboss reckons that's a good guarantee at all, I suppose I can't blame her.

Went back to Tei's place, Tei set about to totally cleaning her room, while I ignored her to finish reading up one of Auntyboss' books.

Tei: Everything felt SO RIGHT before this, like just nice? Like the pile of cushions. But now it just looks messy.
Lainie: Yeahlah dumbass, Iszie was sitting on the pile of cushions, of course it looked nice.
Tei: Ahhhhh...*taps lips* Got a point.

Zedeck came over, and we both read away on Tei's bed.

=====

Kat visited us, took a look at the people around and called it "Kakiseni Headquaters #2", then drove us to The Curve for the Moonshine gig - she wanted to watch Tempered Mental.

However, because the traffic lights were out, we got into a car accident.

Kat turned right without braking (though she was going slowly), but another car was driving ahead at a very fast speed (I watched it coming towards me, actually, it took very few seconds). I remember hoping that the other driver would see us and brake hard. Ah well.

We crashed, the car hit the front of Kat's car which crumpled pretty badly. It was a really solid thump I felt, never been in a car accident like that before. The seatbelt hurts.

Tei got a cut on her lip, I got whiplash in my neck, and this slow ache that developed throughout. We got out and stood in the drizzling rain while Kat got it sorted out. Zedeck was allowed to hold up two umbrellas, one for each of us - he's the tallest, a nice height for umbrella holding duties. We looked kinda stupid, but like I told Tei, what are the chances of someone spotting us in the few minutes there anyway?

Kat looked at how crumpled the front of her car was and said

Kat: Luckily didn't hit the side, if not, don't know how to pay back a son and a daughter.

She meant Zedeck and I. Reckon she had a point too.

Went for the gig. At some point, everyone at our table left, and Zedeck and I were left alone, me with a cup of coffee, him with about 3 strawberry drinks placed in front of him (not ordered by him though).

Zedeck: Can this be considered a date? Then I can say I went out with you.
Lainie: No - you didn't invite me out, I didn't invite you out, that has to happen first?
Zedeck: But it can be like a blind date, Tei set us up.
Lainie: ...But for a blind date, I already know what you look like.

Lesbian reputation stays where it is, boy.

I was getting really sleepy by the time Moonshine came about, and though I can't remember what the hell I said to Zedeck, I know it was all very snarky and stupid, and by that I mean more so than usual. Sigh.

Later, Iszie swung by to give us a lift since Kat's car was totaled. I had to stay over with Tei again, but Iszie couldn't layan us last night because Zedeck wanted to see her. Pffft, boyfriends.

Oh damn, it's nearing 4am, damn insomnia. Right, off to bed.

Written by lainie at 01:09 AM on September 17, 2006 in Daily Life, Friends.

I went for the Hollywood Lipstick Lesbians thing the other day.

DEBS is a bad, yet very hilarious movie, and Devon Aoki is so cool in it. She had the best lines in the movie - great cattiness I can only aspire to, spoken in a cheesy French accent. The accent is possibly what made everything so bitchily fun.

AND, when she thought she was about to die, she made sure a cigarette was dangling off the side of her lips. Oh yeahhhhhh.

Lainie: I can feel my IQ dropping every minute of this movie....
Tei: Heh, yeah.

But oh so fun. Or, as Lola said, "Hot girls! Tight school uniforms!! Big guns!!!". She's much more (gaily) honest and enthusiastic that way.

After the screening, Tei and I filled out the questionnaire, then stayed back for the discussion. We had been informed we were the only gay people in the hall (which looked like an accurate assumption), so we sat back and listened to all these straight people discuss what lesbians must be like.

Any feminist camps recruiting? I think I found some potentials there (amongst them one girl Fip and I played a really cheesy joke on a long time back, but hey).

I didn't really have anything intelligent to say, mostly because I woke up early, and there was a video camera around (you'd think I'd try to be smarter where proof is being recorded, ah heck). I'm still impressed I woke up, without an alarm clock. My eyes popped open on time, bleary and (literally) red. And that Tei woke up too.

Ah, lesbians.

=====

Met Lola, she had her back turned to me and I saw a tattoo back of her neck. So I pulled down her collar to see it, and probably said something like "Hey! Cool, a tattoo!".

Lola informed me that I had done precisely this, some time back. Okay, so I have like one standard geeksome reply to tattoos. Tei rolled her eyes at me for being all opportunistic, tugging at Lola's clothes.........but.................But I really didn't know it was there, really............. REALLY............. REALLY..........

.. I mean...I do get sleazy and cheesy but hey, I'll admit it when I am doing it. Embarrassing. I think I turned red. Stupid blood circulation, too excellently healthy in that sense. Of all the things I biologically overachieve at (besides growing boobs), I am talented in making myself red to my ears.

Tried to get an assignment off Lola because I'm too lazy to do my own work, don't think it worked (I'm not shy about skipping assignments). Noticed Lola had many slaves anyway, so I figured the idea behind using people wouldn't be alien to her . Forgot she might not be too used to being on the "slave" end.

Tei and I went off for lunch, made plans to meet up today for
1) an art exhibition
2) a rehearsed reading in Actor's Studio
3) AND, a play (Gadis Jalan Burmah)at STOR.

Then we went home. Today, I had lunch with my cousin and aunt, did some writing, and waited for her call..........Tei and I met up for dinner today after it was too late for everything we had planned

Tei: Why didn't you call me?
Lainie: I was waiting for you to call me!
Tei: I thought you were sleeping!
Lainie: I thought you were sleeping!

You know what's amazing? Some of our friends actually rely on the two of us to organise get-togethers.

So we had dinner with Zedeck and that was it. Many laughs. I told Tei I'm only friends with her because she puts my life in perspective (for one thing, she makes it look heaps better, in comparison with hers).

She threatened to put me on speed dial (bitch, you mean I'm not??) so she could call me the first chance she had to give me a lewd phone call when she boinked, because "at least she's getting laid". Those snobby people having sex, I tell you, they think they're GODS.

Well, to be fair to Tei, regardless of whether she's getting laid, she probably does think she's god anyway (my justification for this is that her blonde hair dye seeped into her brains). I threatened to record her call and forward it to everyone in every workplace she'd ever been in.

Bring it.

Tei and I have taken to saying stupid jokes to each other.

Tei: But you're not just Lainie....You're Lainie of the Blog!
Lainie: But you're not just Tei....You're Tei the Blonde^H^H^H^H^H^H Prime Minister!

Written by lainie at 03:31 PM on September 17, 2006 in Stupid, but fun..

"How does a 13 or 14-year-old know he or she is homosexual? There's only one way to know for sure. And that means these parents are allowing them to engage in sex. "

Hmmm. So, limiting the scope to human beings, if you have to boink a gay to know you're gay, boink a straight to know you're straight, then what does boinking a transsexual / transvestite / bisexual / pansexual mean? Wow this is totally cool, I suddenly have like so many new sexual boundaries to explore.

In case you're curious, my opinion will probably be a lot closer to "Hey, you gotta do, what ya gotta do". So. Anyway. Anyone up for a boink?

Continuing from his line of logic, does this mean he did not know he was "straight" till he had "straight sex"? Fair enough for him then. Presumably, this means he spent some time in his youth angstily wondering if he might just be gay, till joy joy(!), he got laid and could preach his thoughts from behind that security?

Then how does this man truly know he ain't gay (or bi), till he's boinked another man? For that matter, how does he know he's not really a woman? Maybe he should have a sex change operation - and only then, will he know for sure.

[ ......Then again, my lesbianly conscience cannot possibly want to.....uh...have someone obviously so favoured in the straight world.... stolen over to bat on my team, I guess the straight people will have to keep him. Send Jordana Brewster over here, please. ]

The only lesson we can learn from seriously considering a letter not meant to be read seriously, is that in our efforts to discover ourselves, and improve upon the nature of our souls, it is imperative for us to spread as much love as possible in the world and boink everyone.

Incidentally, I can't help liking this man - not because of the undoubtable smexiness that oozes out of his prose, but because there's nothing cheerier that reading about Gay Day in Disney!

Anyone wants to sponsor me?

Written by lainie at 11:27 PM on September 19, 2006 in Arty stuff.

By now, some of you should have noticed that some blogs have been reviewing the Pixart Pocket book, something the company launched to the public beginning of this month.

Pixart offered me a free pocket book (12 pages, with double sided printing - so 24 pages of photos) in exchange for a review. Hey, cool!

My Pixart Pocket book arrived this afternoon, courtesy of the Pos Laju delivery man who felt it necessary to be extremely obnoxious, just as I felt it unnecessary to call off the dogs when he nearly fell off the bike in fear, because the gate that protected him also threatened to give way very, very soon.

So, shall we see?

=====

The Pixart Pocket Photo Book:

I pulled it out of the envelope (bubble wrap, wheee!), and this is the cover to my Pocket book. Hard cover, so don't worry too much about handling:


I repeated some of the images for the cover, cause I felt like it. Wheee! Monkey, monkey!

You can choose 5 photos, and personalise the title. This is the bit I like most about the photo book, the cover.

Inside, you can choose different layouts and typeface. I went for the one-big-photo-per-page layout (many, many other combos to explore). Having read Suanie's review, I decided not to go for photos edge-to-edge.

This works better if your photos are horizontal in the first place, fills out the page nicely. For vertically-aligned photos, maybe you can try more than one photo per page, so you don't get huge margins at the side, OR, you can rotate the photo.

The colours turned out yellower than they were on my screen, with lower contrast and printing resolution - so the darker photos I sent in occasionally had the skin tones appear washed out (I'd put up an example, but I mean it when I say Josie will claw my eyes out if I do that).

Anyhow, simple solutions would be to either not use dark photographs, or fiddle around with the Photo Editing that comes bundled with the Pixart software (or, if you're not anal about printing, you can just shrug it off).

[ The website says that printing for Pocket book is "Similar to colored pictures in a magazine or close to those of offset print presses" but the Coffee Table Photo Book has better quality printing ]


Photo editing is pretty much a no-brainer to use, but if you're that unfamiliar with editing photos, then it's just click and experiment. No worries here, easy enough to figure out along the way.


The top one is the original digital photo I used, the lower one is from the photobook. This is what I meant by the colours come out darker with less contrast, so the photo kinda looks flatter.


This is fine in the photos with more light, if anything, the extra yellow means I actually look kinda healthier than usual . I added a black border to this photo. I noticed people kinda like to do that, add borders to stuff.

I personally prefer it borderless, like this:


I'm a sucker for black and white photos with big white margins to frame it.

I was looking at this page, and thinking, it'd be nice to get a lot of photos of my friends, all in black and white, preferably white background, and just make it into a Pocket book like this.

Overall: Very fun, and in the age of digital cameras, let's face it, some of us have crazy amounts of photographs of our friends. It's nice to see some printed out, I prefer a book of photos to a folder in the computer.

Can't help but think this will be fun if you guys have a birthday party. Get together, pool those photos you like of the person whose birth you're celebrating, write stupid captions, chip in a few dollars each, and voila! Collaborative birthday present!

Or, take photos during the party and turn it into a photobook.

Or...Or...Yknow, there's damn lot you can do with 24 pages of photos.

I'm already (ye gods) planning a black and white version with portraits as a gift for someone. Something like the Nessa portrait. Evil, evil.

Anyhow, Pixart's new Pocket book was launched beginning of this month, and....I'd type out the info, but really, Pixart sent me a shorter list that works just fine:

1 - 30th September, there will be a 20% discount to all users

Standard price is RM50.00 for 12 pages (Double sided printing included ie 24 printed pages)

Additional pages RM1.50 per page (double sided printing i.e. 2 printed sides)

Shipping to anywhere in Malaysia Add RM6. Shipping to Singapore Add RM25. Shipping to other countries is possible.

Click here to see how you can get your own: Pixart Pocket Photo Book

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Other reviews online:

As Suanie Sees It Pixart Pocket Photo Book. (very useful for those just starting out)

Minishorts no word review.

Chan Lilian Pixart PhotoBooks - Showcase of family love

Jolene (Little Girl in a Reverie) Pixart Pocket Books Make The Perfect Gifts! (her layouts are more fun than mine, definitely)

AND BEFORE I FORGET:

Minishorts Pixart Photobook Giveaway! is having a contest to give away 3 Pixart photobooks.

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I'm probably going to go into the world of advertising when I graduate yknow, and it will involve selling my soul for dirt cheap prices (if I even get paid for it, ha ha, ha ha). You all still sayang me kan? Kan?

Written by lainie at 01:34 AM on September 20, 2006 in Arty stuff.

The Donkey by ~lains on deviantART

Don't even know what I wanted to make here, really. Just a donkey being led on - originally the idea was "no carrot"...Then I figured a light-optical-illusion kinda thing. Whatever.

I made the entire thing in about twenty minutes - you see the shite shading? That took up more than half the time (pic without shading here). Vectors, but made in Photoshop because that's the only thing I have to work with.

Since I've been asked how I vector so quickly: Basic Donkey Tutorial (I'm assuming you know how to vector). It's actually pretty simple. And the tutorial took up another few minutes.

Additional shading (not in tutorial) was done cause I was bored and procrastinating from deadlines. It's pretty simple though, just slightly darker colour blocks, and a quickmask after you select whatever it is you're shading on so that it doesn't run outta line.

I'M SO FUCKING BORED SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Written by lainie at 05:29 PM on September 20, 2006 in Arty stuff.

I watched the band NAO perform at CIJ's gig in Pasar Seni for World Press Freedom Day....And now, they're gonna be launching their own album on September 30th! NAO album launch.

I don't know if I'll be around for the launch - Francesca Beard will be in town (which I will DEFINITELY go for), KOMAS will be having it's Freedom Film Festival, and you should probably check out these two events.

But damn, I want that album.

If what I have listed are not your kinda thing (GO FOR THE BLOODY FRANCESCA BEARD GIG, MAHAI), then there's also The Oral Stage, and their performance Fiftynineminutes (original short plays and monologues performed within one hour).

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Last night I received news about the coup in Thailand - you can read Christao408 to see what's up. Another blog's been set up called 19Sep.

Hope you guys are alright.....

Sigh.

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Anyhow, on Monday night, Tei and I went to watch a play written by Shahredza Minhat called Gadis Jalan Burmah at Stor theatre. Student prices were RM17 (and Tei paid for my ticket, so it's alright either way ).

You can read the News Straits Times and Apadia reviews.

It's part of Dramalab's Season of Origins and Originals, and I can see why they picked this script (performed by Soefira Jaafar). It's fun lah. To put it simply, Kartini Shuib reminded me of a local Bridget Jones from Penang, but this being a theatre, there was much more fun involved.

[ Like, so many spoilers up ahead ]

It starts off with Kartini, making the batter for her own birthday cake. This play is a monologue, and much of it consists of Kartini directly addressing the audience, walking past the people seated to take props put behind, her purposely staring at the audience to unnerve them (it worked on me, I had a big goofy grin that slowly disappeared under her stare, before she broke it off with a smile, saying "she likes to stare, and keep quiet, for the dramatic effect"). Even in the middle of berdrama, she can turn around and tell us "That was the longest silent pause I've ever done in my life".

Kartini is so, so single. She tells us about her first love in her teens, all the way till her reaching her 42nd birthday (today) - still unsuccessful in love. Her mother is nagging her - we cannot hear the cajoling for Kartini to call some businessman out on a date, but the answers Kartini supplies says enough about her mother's side of the conversation.

Kartini yells back "No mom, I'm not a lesbian!".

Hee hee hee hee.

Then she accuses her mother of hiding her ciggies, and teases that she can buy a whole pack, and smoke every batang at one go, you know. Then she looks up with a smile and tells us she likes to irritate her mother that way.

Kartini speaks in the voices of the men in her life, as well as her own (monologue mah, one leg kick all*). She simulates kicking groins of her asshole ex for calling her fat, the blind date who tried to set her up on the MLM scheme, the short boyfriend with Napolean complex who punched her, her job with MAS airlines, dancing in a disco, dancing the joget, being boinked, shows us the "tangkap basah" scene by the Islamic department (that was actually kinda funny, the way she covered her "erection" that slowly went doooown, though about the last thing I need in my life is a story that has both "David Lim" (who directed the play) and "erection" at the same time).

[ *chinese saying for one person does everything ]

There were even some parts where she BerBollywood with her first love by running / rolling around the set, hand dramatically placed against forehead, with Hindi music in the background.

At one point, while she recounts her love life, the crew plays some really jiwang-ish superemo music.....She tells them off and makes them switch it off "You think what?". So you see, this is actually a really really fun script (who cares a man wrote it? Non issue! Fun! Fun fun! Write more!).

The set was not bad. Uh. Looks like a kitchen alright (which I am aware is a very intelligent sentence, never mind lah). There was one part where she flings cake batter about (40 year old single woman dealing with romantic frustrations, don't even go there), and Tei and I were just staring at it, pitying the stage manager who had to clean it up.

Was interesting to meet Soefira, since the last time we had our non-encounter I was too shy to go say hi :/ So this time around she came up to talk to some of us and I introduced myself. She's much shorter than I had anticipated, and her speaking voice is very different from the Penang accent she employs as Kartini throughout the monologue - I was surprised during the play as well, since when she read my story it had sounded very different.

She told us that David (director) had told her to chuck more batter about, destroy the set! I could imagine a Stage Manger jumping around behind him, doing those "No! No! No!" signs.

Janet Lee was there too (her musical Butterfly Lovers is starting soon). When we talked with her, one of the first things she mentioned was pity the stage manager, have to clean up the batter .

Anyhow, the play runs till Saturday night (23rd Sept), 830pm. RM22 / RM17 (student price). It's at Stor, which is the small theatre for Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka, at Jalan Hang Tuah in KL.

It was a small crowd the night I went (9 people, I think), and Soefira says come! Come watch the play! So go, go watch the play.

Written by lainie at 02:43 AM on September 21, 2006 in Arty stuff.

Leaning by ~lains on deviantART

uhm. this is a rough cut* version, so the details won't hold up to scrutiny. i know, i know.

*by rough cut i mean this is not 'work in progress', it's kinda like a prelim sketch, but i've done some colours on it. to finalise this i'd probably draw another one.

that is assuming i am not too lazy, which i probably am.

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Was cleaning up study just now.

Dust, lots of dust. I'm allergic (i always have allergy reactions at home cause of the three indoor dogs, but now it's worse).

Dust + Dogs + Godknowswhat that tickled my nose during dinner + Group of men in Brickfields wearing too much cologne

= Lots of Allergies = Very sleepy now.

I am like the Allergy Kid. Guh, it's not even 3am. My usual bed time is a few hours later.

Gnite, people.

Written by lainie at 12:59 PM on September 22, 2006.

Happy belated birthday Meesh!

and

Happy birthday Suanie!

Anyways, you other people. Hi.

GO FOR THIS.

Anak Bulan Di Kampong Wa' Hassan

Only running till Sunday night, cheap tickets (mine was free cause Juliet belanja, three cheers for Juliet!), and bloody good. Please, feel free not to be a pair of numbnuts, and go watch this monologue.

It's a play written by Alfian Sa'at, directed and performed by Gene Sha Rudyn.

This is such a schizo monologue, one dude playing all these different characters. This Gene guy is crazy, he can do all kindsa voices, accents, body language, all the while suddenly switching characters (but I found them really distinct from each other, so they were easily recognisable).

Haiyo, all these Singaporean actors coming down to KL lately make me wish I could go for theatre productions there.

And the ending. THE ENDING! Ouch, my heart, I felt so so so sad (but at least I didn't almost cry, unlike some wusses). It lasted a lil while, and throughout it all my face just dropped more and more....

I mean this: GO.

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After the play, we hung around bitching about how we paid RM10 for a play that was much better than some pathetic productions that charged RM50.

Then we went for coffee and talked up a storm. Like, if you were the last human being on earth, and there was only one animal left (not even the entire species, just ONE representative of the animal), what would you pick?

Juliet said if the last animal in the world was a cow, she wouldn't eat it, just cause she'd be lonely otherwise (insert many "draw a face on a volleyball" jokes ala Cast Away movie). I told her, may I never be as lonely as to hope for a cow's company (she didn't get it). And, I'd totally eat the cow, are you kidding me?

Also, Starve to Death vs Beef Stew. Cmon. How's this even a contest?

I decided my last animal would be a chicken, so I could eat eggs. Quite practical right? I impress myself sometimes. It's the only thing I can cook, too. Then I decided, my alternative would be if someone can name me a tasty animal that regenerates itself - asides from starfish. Something tasty, for heaven's sake, it's the last meat I'll ever have.

Juliet suggested (god knows why)........A lizard's tail. You know what would be fucking depressing? You and this lizard (which is fortunately, right beside you at the time), are the LAST TWO beings on earth.

Your only source of meat is to wait for it to regrow its tail. Everyday, you can pine for it to grow back, with your fork waiting handy. And, your only friend is this very lizard.

This evolved into a personality test, like a marker for how we perceived other people's personalities based on how we guess they would react if they were the LAST human being, with the lizard.

Marilyn Manson would secretly love the lizard, but pop out one of its eyes to eat, before replacing it with a fake bead eye. Johnny Depp would so be able to carry off the pirate look with the lizard as his sidekick. Etc, etc, etc. Ricky Martin? Brad Pitt? What would these people do with a lizard? And do we really want to know?

[ Brad Pitt, after being with Angelina Jolie, and ending up with a house lizard, may as well find a tall building and jump off ]

So really - what animal would you pick (a chicken is my answer, find your own), if you could? And if it was no choice but a house lizard (with regenerative tail), how would you react? What would be the most depressing 'animal' to be left with? I'd say......A 2 inch long sea monkey (amoebas don't count, not visible to naked eye).

And what would you, as the last person on earth, do? I said I'd break into a paint factory and paint everything I wanted to (and gasp! no more art critics in the world!). Also, a huge section where I'd draw myself as the last human in the world.

Cmon, last human in the world, no matter how big my ego gets, I'm still the most modest person around.

Then I had this really bad visual of a caveman, only guy on this island with 1 caribou (cmon, Caribou Friendship vs Caribou drumstick.......). And he'll be drawing his plight in some cave.....Him, last man, holding drumstick from what was the last caribou. I tell you, there's a cave drawing out there exactly like this.

You are patient, if you are still reading.

Juliet and Tei will set up a band, and I will be in charge of finding their supporting troupe of performers, which will consist of midgets being thrown in the air, and they'll all do head-kicks. And the midgets (preferably the Siamese twins version, joined at the head) will run through fields of taugeh, joyously.

And I told them I was returning to my hometown soon, Ipoh, where we have fields upon fields of taugeh (beansprouts) near my house, which Ipoh people run around in when they are bored - to be honest, I miss a good jog around the taugeh fields, listening to the occasional crunch of beansprouts under my shoes. It's a great way to connect with nature, I highly recommend it.

In fact, Ipoh is the proud host of bi-monthly Stylistic Dance Competition: (Vitality) Spirit of the Taugeh Fields, where participants do an interpretive dance of the freedom and joy that courses through their veins as they run amongst taugeh fields. I've always been too shy to enter, but it looks fun. And after that, we have taugeh buffets, but the soy-sauce version is always gone early. Must be those damn Chinese aunties, always tapau balik for their three hundred children.

Seriously, that's where Ipoh gets its taugeh from. Fields upon fields of one-inch tall plants, yellow and white flags sticking out of the ground, and you have to tip-toe through so you don't accidentally squash any. And we use bulls to carry carts of water several miles from the special Kinta river to use on the plants, so they taste extra crunchy cause of the mineral content in the river.¹

Also talked about local politics, but hey, quite boring stuff. And local arts scene (bitchy, and off the record - though on the record, we all like Mark Teh and what he's done / doing). And we talked about Lelaki Komunis Terakhir (director Amir Muhammad's blog here).

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What do I think about Lelaki Komunis Terakhir being banned....? Hmmmm.

I think it is NECESSARY* for LKT to be banned for the simple reason that we cannot have a documentary that shows that the communists are mind-numbingly mundane.

It is NECESSARY* that we cannot show that all the "communist areas" Chin Peng once traveled through are now filled with residents trying to convince you (in interviews) that the wares they sell are...Well - Pomelos are good for health, charcoal is good for health, bicycles are good for health, petai is good for health - buy buy Buy BUY BUY!

Cibai, what communists? They're all bloody capitalists okay. Ish.

*By "NECESSARY".....I obviously don't mean for You and Me lah, but for The Poeple Up There (ie: probably Not You), who find stupid laws like the ISA right useful where it is. After all, how can we justify the ISA, if the communists are like......Bloody Boring....?

Or worse, if they're old, sedate, poor and living in villages, and listening to birds chirp all day. Some more la they're singing karaoke songs. Hello? Where are the insidious plans to conquer our Malaysia? Where are the efforts to put an end to Democracy, okay Pseudo-Democracy OKAY, Federal Constitutional Monarchy oh Whatever The Hell We Are.

[ ...uh. not being snarky, i really don't remember, tralala I may be bimbotic, but at least I......I.....uh. Oh whatever, don't be petty. *flips hair* ]

And some of them don't even have their teeth, for god's sake. Mana gigi komunis?? And they're all wearing last season's colours. So salah.

Cmon man, bloody commies. The cameras are here! Pander! Pander! Whip out your machine guns from behind the crates of pomelos! And stop smiling. Pout. Glare. Wither the audience with your eyes.

You can't fool us anyway - We all know the communists are hiding in the jungles and they're planning to blow up train tracks. We Malaysians live in the constant threat of communism, and it would be absolutely ridiculous to allow them to watch a documentary that says otherwise. It'll give you a false sense of security, you see. Everytime you forget to fear the communists, god kills TWO kittens and a parrot.

I tell you, you go into the jungle now, there's a Chinese commie dude with three hundred bombs hiding under a bush. No shit I tell you, bombs all made-in-India, buy in bulk got discount. Now if Amir had made a documentary interviewing this dude, would LKT be banned? No.

Jolly better if Chinese commie dude blows up a few people for the camera to prove his point. But no, Amir did not make a video of all the proper communists.

I'm from Ipoh okay. Us simple Ipoh folk, when we're not running around in seemingly endless fields of taugeh, we travel by jumping from roof to roof, swinging from trees, paddling down rivers and avoiding all suspicious shadows. Ya never know, where those commies are.

Might not have seen them in 17 years of growing up there, but hey, I very blur you know. I tell you, I always knew they were there. Yeap. Got, got. I am not, like, the last girl from Perak to know there are armies of violent communists in my hometown.

You know, for every bowl of our famous Ipoh Beansprouts and Chicken Noodles (Nga Choi Kay) you buy, it is said that the money goes straight to the Communists (the violent kind hiding in jungles lah, not the ones in this documentary) where they buy Chinese Propaganda, Hi-tek Missiles, and lots of alcohol for their orgies of debauchery / debauchery of orgies, whichever*.

*To prove this is not a lie, I just read that sentence out loud.

Necessity is how you look at it lah.

But those are just my thoughts. Zedeck doesn't agree with me, really. Stubborn boy, we will get along so much better if he just sat there looking pretty, and nodded everytime I talked.

Also, information I used to write about LKT here is available online (bulk of it in Kakiseni), so you pandai a bit, Google a bit, will find.

To my amusement, af