Written by lainie at 07:33 PM on April 1, 2007 in Daily Life, Events.

Walked out of my room to find there's a stack of intimidating books right outside. I think Jerng is loaning Zheng some books for self-study. Saw the mormon bible, the holy qaran (if it's in english I'll give it a go too), some Nietzsche, classic Greek philosophy, theology books, encyclopedias on art and warfare.

Figured if I was gonna have so many housemates interested in philosophy they may as well be useful, asked Jerng if he had a book by a dude on moral philosophy. He didn't, but whipped out a huge book that contained his works in part. Kinda useful that way, housemates who read.

Went out for lunch with alllll my housemates today, and we didnt have to walk because Jemufo has her girlfriend's car today. Zheng didn't eat much because he's vegan, and prefers to eat at home. After lunch, Jerng suggested we go explore where he used to stay - Chow Kit area.

Jemufo, Jerng and I ended up walking around, it's totally different from the area we live in now. Noisy, crowded, people stare at me strange because I don't recognise all the fruits on sale (I had something that tasted like a cross between a persimmon and a mango). We entered a wet market where catfish were still slithering around on display, and I was weirded out that fish were out in open air without...yknow. Dying.

Lainie: Why aren't the catfish dead???
Yixing: Catfish are really hardy.
Lainie: Oh.....
Yixing: They'll take a while to die.

So I watched them sliding around on the tin trays. Weird. There were some bigger fish I didn't recognise slowly gasping for air, very dead chickens with their heads barely attached to their chopped necks, feet splayed in the air. A lot of vegetables, a lot of petai.

Lainie: This place smells funny.
Jerng: Well this is their workplace.

I lived right across a wet market for 3 years, and I never thought there'd be a day where I actually had to naturalise to the smell again (it reached the point where I could walk by a dumpster and not realise it while my classmates retched).

Saw some prostitues, a lot of barber shops with names like "Italy", "Denmark" and "Mayflower". It's so strange. Drank soya bean, saw lots of tom yam shops. It's interesting to see what all these places are like, can't always assume everyone lives in suburbia.

After walking around a lot, we drove off again to see Jerng's old house, off Jalan Ipoh. As we entered a quieter road, we saw some squatter's house, half demolished, with lots of homemade spray painted red signs that said stuff like "Kami mahu keadilan". There were also other signs on the houses in that area, red spray paint by DBKL with demolishing dates.

Yixing slowed down as we drove by, eventually pulled over then looked at us. I suggested we go talk to the people there (and by "we" I really meant "them" because if there's one thing I do not relish, it's speaking with strangers). Is it ironic that I prefer to listen when my attention span is notoriously inadequate for listening?

Turns out it was an area known as Kg Kasipillay. We talked to Mr Aru, who filled us in on how it was private land, DBKL had no business and no papers to show they could come tear down houses - and a whole bunch of stuff. I don't really want to say anything yet, but you can read the article here:

News from Harakah Daily about Kasipillay here.

Basically, Mr Aru's house (along with a few others) have been spraypainted red with dates for demolishing - tomorrow. Someone I presume is Mr Aru's wife said "Help us, please", before we left.

Jerng has been making phonecalls and is considering buying a videocam tonight to go interview Mr Aru. He's been talking to MPs and whoknowswhoelse - I barely know activists or politicians or whatnot, I only have this blog, and a few journalist friends caught offguard with a story that doesn't exactly scream "HEADLINES!".

Mr Aru had said anyway that only the Chinese papers had shown up for their press conference - that Malay Mail was there only because some journalists happened to be eating nearby and saw the crowd (no story published, as yet). And, Tian Chua from Keadilan was there too, apparently.

What's happening now is Jerng spoke to Ron Tan, and asked him about the way DBKL usually works, and there seems to be slight contradictions between what Mr Aru said, and how DBKL usually goes about things (though I must say what Ron Tan said about DBKL does not seem to entirely coincide with what happened in Berembang).But I'm kinda unclear about what's happening on Jerng's side because I.....am blur. It's not that he didn't tell me, I just don't absorb information well.

We walked around some more to look at the other buildings. Apparently some had left because they were intimidated. I didn't really know where we were, till Yixing drove a few feet further, we reached the main road and

Lainie: HOLY SHIT, we're right opposite KLPAC!

It's really weird for me how the squatters are always near very rich-y places. Though I suppose, where else would they get swallowed up, huh?
So yeah. Went out to explore KL, ended up in a kampung talking with strangers. Anyone knows more about this? Tomorrow, is presumably the day DBKL goes in.

I'll be heading for a night of poetry tonight, at No Black Tie. Details on poets, and flyer, here.

I hear No Black TIe wants to have a monthly poetry night, which is awesome.

Written by lainie at 08:42 PM on April 2, 2007 in College, Daily Life, Events.

How Gmail has spoiled me, to the extent where it barely keeps up with the expectations it's created: You are currently using 2822 MB (99%) of your 2835 MB.

You could say this kinda fits into a mini deleting spree I've been on lately. Ah well.

=====

Last night I went for "Four Voices at No Black Tie". Jerome Kugan, Bernice Chauly, Sharanya Manivannan, and Cyril Wong. Was familiar with most of the work there except for Cyril's.

It marked the beginning of No Black Tie's poetry events every first Sunday of the month. I liked it. I particularly liked that it wasn't overly crowded with the people who socialise at the back, and end up building up so much noise it distracts from the performances.

Bernice read the poems she wrote just some time before her mother passed away, last month. Very raw. Second time I'm listening to them, and I still find it a heartstring jerker by the time she ends with "The Lord is with thee". Emo...


Someone uploaded a video on Youtube of it.

The night had actually started about an hour late - Jerng and Yixing waited with me. While we were seated at our table, waiting for the show to begin, Bernice's brother, Bernard, came up to me.

Bernard: What are you doing? Not assignments right...

[ Peers over at my sketchpad of thumbnail drawings for assignments - which, btw, I skipped dinner with friends to do ]

Bernard: Oh....*looks blur and walks away*
Lainie: -_-"

Jerng and Yixing left right before the show started because the delay meant they would have had to go home a lot later than they wanted to. It was alright anyhow, I had other friends there - including someone veeery interested in taking Bernice's Women's Lit class. My classmate and I both offered her the opportunity to write our papers on our behalf. Well Bernice knows how shamelessly bad I can be with her assignments, I'm not sure what my classmate's excuse would be.

First thing Bernice says to me:

Bernice: How's the paper coming along? You have two days.

Yesterday was the third night in a row I saw my ex-typography lecturer out and about. Teach in Cenfad once, never avoid me again . Was asked by a few people when I was going to read. Hah.

After the night of poetry, Zedeck and I went out for some wine with a bunch of debaters and listened to stories on the parties they have afterwards. Interesting, that....Got dropped off home, did less work than I was supposed to, but hey. Caught up on sleep, woke up hungry.

Eventually made instant noodles, ended up searing my right hand (it's still sore), probably accidentally ate quite a few ants (I don't know how they got there), and stopped munching on the first warning cramp my stomach gave me (which was soon). Damage control: took some stomach medication my mother had given me along with the instant food, in all her wisdom. All is good now.

Internet connection's been fucky all day. I. Am. Not. Happy. About. This.

And now I have some assignments to get outta the way for tomorrow: typography (yay) and some glancing attempts at gynocriticisms.......(...sigh)....

...I swear, if my lecturer wasn't Bernice......

Written by lainie at 10:33 PM on April 3, 2007 in College, Daily Life.

Ahh. Just got home. It was drizzling, so it's nice to be back in my room with the ceiling fan making me feel sleepier than I should want to be.

Had typography class today. We have a new assignment that's pretty fun, but the trouble with the fun assignments is that they come with a lotta work - the funner the idea, the more sketches of ideas our lecturers tend to expect.

This time we're going to do the opening credits for a movie, and we can use images along with type. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Good. Now to rummage for interesting, local indie short films to base my assignment on. Any suggestions? Or better yet, offers to loan me a dvd?

Presented my airline arrival / departure information panel for class. I'd originally gone for a very serious business look, but after sketching last night, decided on the eleventh hour to go for a friendly and relaxed, but very highly legible look. Edited details like the corners, added more lowercase letters, friendlier colours, less columns, bladiblabla....

Was the last in class to present my work, and a bit insecure that my design looked very so different from everyone else's, especially since two of my classmates presented their boards - which looked very much like my original panel's concept and style. Kept wondering if I had missed something very essential about designing information panels.

But it went really well - lecturer said it was the friendliest user interface submitted, classmates liked it. Am glad (relieved, actually) it worked. And Cenfad students can be....harsh...in criticising. Then again, I was also told it looked a bit too international, didn't feel very "Malaysian / KLIA". Hrmmm. I don't know what to say about that.

Now I just have to change one of the icons I used (I changed my concept so last minute, I couldn't get what I needed with the bad internet connection at home). That, and I want to work on the kerning for the ARRIVAL title a bit more. But overall...I'm just relieved.

=====

Was in the canteen after typography class, typing crazy, randomly pulling out points on the research paper I had due for Bernice's class, which was in another two hours. I was just aiming for an outline. I don't even know what I wrote, but I assume that if I leave it in my subconscious long enough, the gestation shall produce something I can at least....pardon myself with.

Holy jeez, no wonder I have no idea what I wrote:

assumption that woman / gender fits into narrowest definition of the label - ineffective?Treats feminism as a monolithic entity – thereby disregarding many internal disputes present in movement. Gynocritical view (Woolf) discounts the idea that all minorities were discriminated upon – this is not primarily an issue of sexuality but representation(?).
agree: women underrepresented, no cultural precendence of female narrativism – argument that any woman writer would then blabbity be subjecting themselves to a view within a male dominated framework.

Yknow, I may not have the knowledge to back up the things I say, but I can waffle if I want to. Waffling being what Zedeck jokingly (I hope) tells me to do, when I complain that I need to "review" something with insufficient background knowledge (it's really quite a disservice, I know).

Bernice had car trouble so she ended up cancelling her class. I wandered around Kinokuniya, and saw a book she'd been looking for, so I texted her the price and shelf it was located under. She took the opportunity to ask about my assignment.

Bernice: How's the paper coming along?
Lainie: I'm pregnant with it.
Bernice: So you haven't popped yet. What about your classmate?
Lainie: Prematurely popped.

She told us to email her if we needed to .

=====

Ended up spending some time in KLCC with my classmates. Shopping, and drinking coffee. Hanging around Kinokuniya, trying to find books to inspire me for assignments / work. Farid's a hoot to hang out with, as usual. And, lalalala.

Right. Have some banner to churn out for Kakiseni (a veryyyy basic one, so it's all cool), and then tomorrow's class to prep for. Tomorrow ought to suck. Bah. Ciaooo.

Written by lainie at 12:30 AM on April 5, 2007 in College, Daily Life.

This will be even more of a ramble than usual. I'm very tired.

Lainie, reporting in.

Was pulling another all nighter when I had a pleasant surprise at 5am - turns out Yixing was awake! She'd just watched some spooky movie, and popped by my room for a bit, so it was nice that I had company for the night (actually, I've heard noise coming from downstairs before, to discover it was Jerng). Helped keep me awake.

As usual, our home's internet connection died at around this hour, killing my research, so I ended up chit-chatting with her for awhile, before we drove out to get her some cough medicine. I got junk food, some jejari bilis, whatever that is. Antinutrition munchies is great for staying awake.

I told Yixing she cannot hit on girls I like (not that she has) because "your girlfriend is my friend". She laughed - I think that's the most insincere thing she's heard me say in....a while .

=====

Went to class with a numb brain. Turns out everyone else who was there wasn't doing too great either, our class was so dead. But I have a funny lecturer, so every so often he got us laughing by pretending to be pissed at us. Actually, it's not that funny. He's saying he's been practising his calligraphy at home, so he can write our "D" and "F" grades with the proper flourishes.

He's been threatening to fail a lot of us (I feel very threatened, honestly), and he has a reputation of failing many students, just cause he refuses for us to graduate and let people know he's our lecturer if we're crappy . ..........I think my designs for this class were bordering on ghastly, so I need to buck up.......................

I presented one letterhead that I can't use - I'd told Bee the day before presentation that I couldn't because it had some line elements that reminded me of Bibi's work, and it just seems so wrong to use it with the similarities.

Basically I had angled text (nobody judge me on this, okay), and I used thin lines to make the baseline more visible and increase legibility. One of Bibi's letterhead designs also had thin lines (though unless I'm mistaken, hers were more aesthetically-driven). Classroom politics, you don't pee in my pool, I don't shit in your backyard.

Our ICON show is coming up in a month - when we exhibit our work and pray like hell we get an internship against the flood of One Academy students that will also be looking for placements. One month to graduation, and the admin of my college is calling me into the office to ask why I'm going for class (I've pretty much been officially barred since godknowswhen because of fees).

After class I headed over to Petaling Street with some classmates, to Nanyang art supply store. We were there to check out different papers - since we're all doing corporate identity, we need to look into different types of paper that we would recommend to clients to apply our designs to. Man, paper's no joke, expensive shite. Spent quite a bit on papers there. Some off-whites, some creams, some warm / cold grays, one pastel background - I was slightly disappointed that I couldn't get the exact shade I wanted.

You don't know what graphic-design-geeky feels like, till you have a bunch of classmates around you, holding up different sheets of white paper, comparing brands and prices, checking the grain / texture, comparing the weight of each sheet, talking about ink absorption and our printer's limitations. Then there's this brief moment where you realise, fuck. They're all white paper.

You think we're being fussy? I told Bee the paper he printed his business card on didn't look good compared to the one he used for his letterhead - guess which paper cost a lot more.

Headed over to Central Market after that. Did some assignments in Bau Bau cafe while munching on RM2 worth of fried mushrooms. Drank coffee, waited for philosophy class to start. I liked hanging out there today, there was some mixed CD playing, and most of it was Against Me! songs.

It was pretty quiet today in philosophy class, much smaller amount of students. I think next week's class promises to be more interesting. I missed a chunk of it because my phone got busy.

After the class, hung around Bau Bau again - a big group of girls wanted to go clubbing at the gay club next door, Liquid. It was closed, but I guess they weren't regulars cause they couldn't tell. The one that looked like a boy led the way - when she found out from us that Liquid was closed that night, they all camwhored then left (honestly, I should have picked up my bag and followed them).

Went for dinner with some Food Not Bombs people and Nunu. The FNB peeps are vegetarian, so we went to Brickfields for vegetarian burgers and hot milk. Along the way, I read an article co-written by Yixing's cousin, Yue Yi (one of our favourite house visitors, may she frequent this place more), about FNB's history and activities here.

I was phasing out on them a lot because....well, it's a bad habit of mine, and I was tired by today. Talked about crocodiles, fishing (I hate fishing), piranhas, hunting, communists and.....Oh, stuff. I think I'm going to end up writing for a brochure they want to come up with - Kecik asked if I would. I don't mind, except for the part where he said I have to talk with a lot of people, and my grasp of the Malay language is sucktastic. I really only comfortably communicate in one language.

Just got home. Tired. Need sleep. But can't sleep because laughing too hard - Daph sent me a photo of herself pouting, and looking very ridiculous in a stinger suit, bright pink flippers, and a garland of flowers. She looks like a confused ninja.

I've been living in black shirts and pretty much two pair of pants because I keep doing my laundry from the top of the pile. Uncle's wedding this weekend, shall have to sort through the more girlsome clothes....I don't have anything against going girly, I do however have something against the idea of sorting my laundry out.

So. Rid myself of what threatens to be a monobrow....Comb my hair. Whip out high heels (I've not been wearing them because I live on a slope and don't want to facefloor anytime soon). Yknow.... Do the things I need to so my appearance doesn't frighten family members at the idea of sharing the same genetic material as me.

Lainie, passing out soon.

Written by lainie at 12:53 AM on April 6, 2007 in Daily Life, Friends, Home.

I sprained my neck muscle today wrestling a giant monitor lizard away from the baby kittens in college (or maybe I just slept in an uncool, weird position all night long and woke up with a crick in my neck and luckilytheresnophotographicevidence). I get distracted by my environment so easily, it's painful when I forget and turn my head here and there.

Went for class today, where I handed in a very badly written review, something banged out in minutes. Hah. Best not to think about it. Then hung out after with Farid and another classmate, talking about sex, which obviously means we're not having sex, which is why we have so much time to layan each other in the college cafeteria discussing Gspots in asses and dick sizes. And other stuff.

After that, went to the post office to faff my time away. I could have just gone to their website to get the information I needed on envelope standards, but I went to the place instead - they actually put up examples of colour swatches of the different shades of pastels you can design envelopes in (though the preferred is still white). Basically, if you can stick an old person with serious heart condition in front of a huge wall painted in the colour you want to design your envelope in, and two minutes of staring at it doesn't kill him - you can probably put it on the envelope.

=====

I was bloody hungry and whiny for food early tonight, so the moment Jemufo came home I dragged her out for dinner, singing showtunes along the way (she has a cough but still manages a really croaky "for pooorn"). Between Zedeck and I, there's a lot of very gay-friendly showtunes playing in this house.

After a while, a woman I've never met before, whose name I was familiar with because she spams my inbox regularly, joined us for dinner. Jemufo's colleague, Gayathry, from CIJ. Everytime she sends me an email (because I'm on the mailing list), I get a dosage of "Ehhh. What is this? I don't get it. Am I supposed to know this?".

[ Insert "Complain from Jemufo about having told me about issues when I obviously wasn't listening" here. ]

We ended up talking about which Hogwarts house we would end up in - and I said I'd rather be in Slytherin, because then I can find people to skive off classes with. I'm largely more comfortable with the kind of people who get an education by not staying in class.....

I was supposed to fuck off pretty soon after that, because an activist Jac was joining them later for work......I'm not sure which part of what they were talking about was concerned with work, but it seemed to last all of.....ten minutes. Anyhow, stuck around eating half boiled eggs. I wasn't paying attention to their business initially, because it didn't concern me; well, okay, it was about KataGender activism thing that I will be participating in, but yknow...didn't really concern me....yet?

Then they switched topics to a more interesting question and for the first time, I actually listened a reasonable amount while Jac was talking (I have probably subjected her to my faffy attention span too frequently, since she doesn't seem to expect me to listen anymore, which may be a good thing). There's some defeasible-ish suggestions I made that I wanna think through tonight, may that feeling go away soon.

Anyway. Didn't know how to think about it, so I ended up feeling really blur and bugged over what I don't know. I think I know too lil, about stuff in general, to talk too much about...stuff in general. Did that sentence only make sense to me? I just seem to be getting Gettierer the more I think about this.

Jemufo remarked during our walk home, that she had been waiting for me to space out on Jac midway and was surprised that I didn't. Proud of me, kan? Kan? Attention span! w00t!

...Actually, I admitted later I didn't hear what Jemufo was talking about because my attention wandered off . But hey. We live in the same house, you can talk till my ears either drop off or I hear you, if you want .

=====

Jemufo: Lainie! There's a lizard in my room!
Lainie: Hee hee hee. My minions.
Jemufo: .........

[ Pause ]

Jemufo: Dammit.

[ Pause ]

Jemufo: Have you been feeding them?
Lainie: ...Is that a trick question?

Okay, maaaaybeeee I might have been feeding the lizards because I like em. Just maybe. You have no proof!

=====

Zheng and Sunway came into my room, eventually Jemufo, Zedeck and Jerng joined in. We were discussing how Zheng is now with Elite models, so he has to learn public speaking, classical dances and buy clothes so he can dress decently at social events. Not bad for a dude who got spotted as a waiter in a Barbie event handing out cookies. But he is le pretty.

We talked about renting him out as a toyboy, because as he's casually observed, gay men seem to be quite fond of him (and his impoverished housemates are opportunistic bastards that way). Zedeck was drinking gin and grimacing away. We've decided that Zheng's life should get a lot more interesting because by becoming a model he shall encounter.......er. More people. And let's not presume they'll be airheads just cause they're pretty.

We have a new way of testing if a woman is inclined towards gayity or not (since this whole house is in the same market when it comes to women, me having the biological advantage of actually being female). If Zedeck is attracted to her, and I'm not, chances are, the woman is gay (2nd possibility: you get her age when you add mine and Zedeck's).

If I'm attracted to her and Zedeck isn't, she's probably straight. If we're both attracted to her, then we worry more over competition. Then we briefly moved on to replacing numbers with letters from the alphabets and calculating from base 26. One exercise being about as useful an expenditure of our time as the other.

I read some pages of the Qaran after that. I kinda like that it reads right to left, I wouldn't mind having my novels printed that way. Sentences left to right, pages right to left. Feels like manga. Err. But without the pictures. Obviously.

I learned a new word from it: Obloquy. And that "iqraa" might be a different spelling for "ikrar" since I understand both seem to kinda mean read / proclaim / recite? Kinda uncertain, but hey. Not sure how much longer I can pay attention to the book, but it's good for my passive curiosity so far.

.......I think it's a hint that I should get to my assignments when I start analysing the Jawi type (ie: font) they used. So off I go. Difficult class tomorrow -_-".

Written by lainie at 12:39 AM on April 9, 2007 in Family, Home.

[ This will be very rambly and you should only read if very bored - though arguably, this disclaimer applies to all entries I've ever written ]

Weekend recap:

Friday: Had class. It was Alfredo's birthday so he got two slices of cake from the class - I don't know whether to say this is because we like him, or because we're shameless hussies, but hey. Maybe both. Was frustrated because circumstances beyond my control made me late for class, so my nerves were frazzled.

Right before I wanted to head home, received a call from Kecik asking me to head over to Bau Bau Cafe. Met up with him and Ebrahem cause they want me to provide the copy for a brochure to inform people about urban pioneers (like the kampung Berembang thing). I'm actually quite spacey about the issues behind this, but hey, will help however I can. Gah. I think I'll be googling a lot. This is absolutely the last extra commitment I make to anything before my graduation.

Waited for another writer involved in this to arrive but he was too late so I left in the evening. Had to pack my bags because I'd be staying over with my aunt in Sungai Buloh, after dinner with my parents. Uncle's wedding the next day, with events from morning till night, needed to get my ass in gear and pack everything I needed.

Of course, last minute packing means last minute panics. I couldn't find an appropriate pair of heels, except for a pair I'd procrastinated from sending to the cobbler for too long. Dad calls, tells me he's already heading out to the restaurant. I got dressed quickly and surprised some housemates

[ Jemufo: ....What are you wearing? ]

I forget Zedeck's the only one who's ever seen me wear anything asides from tshirts and jeans / cargo pants. I reckon I'd pop in a dinner with the parents, then send my shoes for a quick repair. Walked out of the house in shiny shoes, rolled my eyes at myself.

I arrive at the restaurant first, and my mother tells me to wait for them inside. I'm famished and order a starter. I wait twenty minutes alone. I call, and am casually told it'll be another half an hour - too little time for me to get my shoes done. I wait half an hour. I have not slept the night before, and I am falling asleep at the table. Getting increasingly grumpy.

I call my mother again - and I still have to wait. I almost flattened my face into the salad I'd ordered, out of exhaustion. Yknow, if they'd just told me earlier, I'd have gone to get my shoes fixed, and shopped for accessories for the wedding. I hate having my time wasted, and I get tired easily waiting for people.

My phone battery is dying, so I texted mom to let her know, and told her which table I was seated on. Of course, my mother's first reaction everytime I tell her my phone battery is dying, is to call........................

By the time my parents arrived, it was tense. Mom says something about my aunt having prepared dinner for us, but we were in this restaurant instead because my dad said so. Dad smiles and asks me if this means it's his fault. I decided not to say anything, because it'd have come out caustic, the mood I'm in.

Later mom nags me over something (I forget what, having the tendency to switch off both when she's lecturing and when I'm sleep deprived). Dad grins in the "Ha ha, I know you're tired of this" way. I glared at him, like jesus, you're not bloody helping either, you know.

After dinner it's a long drive to Sungai Buloh. It's the first time I'm at my aunt's new house. It looked cool, kinda swanky, all glass, wood and dangerous looking staircases. I head up straight to my room, talk on the phone a lil, drape my forearm over my eyes, and accidentally fell asleep.

Saturday:

Mother wakes me up at 7am. I get kicked into the shower. I wear something comfortable for the daytime wedding ceremony - the uncle I'd been staying with, my mom's youngest brother, is finally getting hitched with his girlfriend. He's the youngest boy in their generation.

Helped get his house ready for the wedding ceremony. A lot of stringing up firecrackers and red stuff. Cousins slowly showing up. On the Choon side of the family, I'm easily one of the oldest cousins around, so it was interesting that the brats are now old enough to hold conversations with.

Until they arrive at that age, I just lump them all into the land of "Younger Cousins with No Individual Identity". A lot of my cousins are turning out to be really pretty girls. I'd been calling one of them Meimei for so long, I just learned her name is "Melissa" because it was stitched onto her shirt. Damn.

The guys leave to receive the bride from her house - where they have to do a lotta nonsense (sing songs, play games, drink, whatever they can think of) at the bidding of those who barricade the groom out of the bride's house, before they're allowed in. After a looong time, they return with a roast pig - the midsection gone, left behind at the bride's.

Then there was some bed jumping ceremony, where two virgin Choon boys are picked. One has to jump on the bed behind the couple (I suppose to symbolise the numerous progeny they're meant to have). Another punches through paper covering some vessel thing (whereby I pretended I had no idea what that seemed to symbolise). I also decided not to question too much if everyone was sure the two boys we used were actually virginal - honestly, who gives a crap?

An uncle in advertising comes up to me to ask how my college thing is going along - I say I'll be graduating soon, and moving on to internship. He gives me his card........I like my uncle, but this is not exactly the type of path I want to tread, the "family connection" thing. Not so much because I want to prove myself in the face of adversity (I'm too lazy for that), but I've seen what work environments are like when related to the employer. Everyone treats you awkwardly.

When the firecrackers went off, I found an overly-adorable young cousin wrapping himself around my thigh, both scared of the sound and kinda excited. I ended up covering his baby ears for him instead of mine. But no, really, I don't like kids. Except this one. Although sometimes I think, white babies sell for more in Thailand............................

On the drive home, I lectured my dad on some stuff he'd been doing, like changing his religion for over a year / having surgery. I mean, be as religious as you want, but shit, it'd be nice if you could so much as be bothered to let us know? I severely dislike having to find out about it from my aunt.

=====

Saturday night

Back in Sungai Buloh, getting ready for the night wedding. Got scolded by my mother because the skirt she wanted me to wear didn't work out - I'd handed her a few tops while I was packing, to try out with the skirt. Of course, she thought I was just gathering up clothes so she could....put them aside. Ended up with only one top to wear amongst all, and a pair of pants that I'd brought as a side option for the day ceremony (which actually worked okay, but mom still didn't like that). Wore a pair of black heels she'd brought down from Ipoh - of course, there's a reason I left them in Ipoh in the first place. One night of clubbing out in them and I'd realised our relationship wasn't meant to be.

Finally ended up in some layered skirt thing. A lot of us wore all-black for a wedding? Oh well. There were stuff here and there aggravating me, which was affecting me a lil till my cousin came up to me, swirling his glass of drink around.

Patrick: Did you know they have brandy here?
Lainie: They do...?
Patrick: Yeap.
Lainie:

The night was so much prettier and shiner from there. And my mother gave me some really nice champagne too, which I enjoyed. Checked out someone who was either a very boyish girl, or girlish boy, I can't tell. Stopped eyeballing each other after a while because I was surrounded by relatives. I hadn't realised I'd been staring till something in my brain registered that we were. Alcohol is bad. I still don't know if the person was a dude or dudette or whatever.

So. My uncle's married, and his bride was looking gorgeous the whole day. She's really photogenic. Let's see how the kids turn out, ei?

Decided to come home instead of staying over in Sungai Buloh again - too far away. Jerng thought I was Sunway for a while, because I was checking email in Jemufo's room, and I suppose because the only person who regularly dresses like a female in this house is Sunway. I thought that was funny.

Went over to Zheng's room to talk with Petra, who decided to stay over with us for the night . Told her I'd go for the theatre production she'd volunteered for, Hutan Kenangan. More on that tomorrow.

=====

:O

Bernice sent Zedeck upstairs to tell me to write my paper. What the hell.
Too tired to blog more. Blek.

Written by lainie at 10:53 AM on April 9, 2007 in Friends.

You ever wake up with that feeling that it's your good friend's birthday, even if you have no idea what the date is, or for that matter, what date her birthday falls on? Anyway, here goes.

VANESSA YEOOOOOO!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY NERDFACE!!

I'll do it again if it's not today

Written by lainie at 01:42 PM on April 10, 2007 in Events.

Written by lainie at 07:32 AM on April 12, 2007 in Daily Life.

Went for Hutan Kenangan the other day with Zedeck, ended up meeting a lot of friends.

Hutan Kenangan is a theatre production about fairies born in the forest, then an evil jin comes along and takes over the forest, followed by some comedic moments, then humans help the fairies banish the jin, and the fairies get their forest back.

Pretty simple story...I think it was an interesting, if somewhat unsettling experience, watching the performers - they were physically disabled, and I've seen how the energy expenditure goes into the mobility I take for granted, so I was worried about some of them wearing themselves out. Then again, good time to, eh? Onstage. It was actually quite fun - though some parts I thought were stretching out the repetition a bit too much.

Toni mentioned that some people might have trouble recognising involuntary movements, something I had not considered since I thought everyone could tell. But I tend to presume a lot about what people know.

I'm reading the write up in Kakiseni's Tembak section (usually my favourite when I'm not writing it, because the length matches the span of my attention) on the Young Malaysians Roundtable Discussion. Zedeck and Jemufo had both attended it, and I'd been a bit disheartened by their observations when they returned (though hardly surprised).

I just woke up. Accidentally fell asleep fully clothed. I ran out of tshirts again. Am resorting to my older wardrobe now, where everything looks girly and.....pink. And shiny. Siiigh.

For those in Penang who most likely have not seen Wayang Kadbod, Kecik and some others are bringing the kids down to stage their performance. It's quite darling cute, you guys should check it out.

Written by lainie at 06:23 PM on April 12, 2007 in College, Home.

On the phone with Jemufo

Jemufo: Did you come into my room while I was sleeping?
Lainie: Yeah, to use the mirror....
Jemufo: No, I mean, did you leave a toy on my table?
Lainie: .....Look. I may be creepy, but whatever you think of me, I'm really not that creepy.

[ or generous, unless it's your birthday or you look too sexually deprived ]

Jemufo: I woke up and there was a toy beside me.

I like how she automatically assumed it was me, thanks for nothing. Anyhow, we have deduced that Creepy + Toy = Zedeck. Huzzah!

Like I said, I've been dressing a bit differently lately. I combed my hair and people are calling it a makeover . I particularly like how one of my classmates asked me this:

Classmate: Oh! Are you going to be a girl again?
Lainie: .......(again?)...........

WHAT was I BEFORE? A boy with tits? Between that, and classmates threatening to burn all my baggy clothes, and Farid hitting on me*, and being constantly harassed on the streets, I'm wishing I didn't run out of my usual clothes in the first place.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I need to do my laundry.

*Correction: Farid's my darling, so I don't actually mind. Especially since I've hit on him too, whether or not he realises / remembers.

Written by lainie at 08:33 PM on April 13, 2007 in Daily Life.

Joyce Wong, have a rocking party .

Not really in the mood to blog right now, because lightning just killed the electricity supply here, and my fan slowly whirred to a still. It's raining, sure. Stuffy and warm too. I think my friends can sense my boredom vibes (or potential perversity), since I've been getting links today to sites like Naught Allie (porn) and Anni's Panty Blog (sells her used underwear).

=====

Put on a pink shirt the day before, and had the naggy feeling there was a reason I no longer wore it, but couldn't bloody remember why. Popped into Jemufo's room.

Lainie: Does this top look weird?
Jemufo: Uhmmm....no?
Lainie: Sure?
Jemufo: Yeah...
Lainie: Okay!

Thought I'd put some faith in the feminist housemate. Then within two minutes of walking out of the house, a car full of creeps slowed down to leer / stare intimidatingly (and laughed at getting flipped off by me), followed by other creepy people within a 2k radius of my house, and I remembered this pink top was Harassment Magnet and wished I had a mini rabid feminist to throw into their car.*

*I literally had an image of something like a vicious pixie monster^ that instinctually hates male chauvinists that I could hurl like a zoning weapon into their car. A small creature, zipping around in the air and creating a lot of havoc till they all had to run out of the car and abandon it. Of course, reality was far kinder to them.

^I never said I was thinking of a human feminist.

I've noticed it's not necessarily the tight clothes. For some reason, it's when they're pink AND tight that the harassment piles on.

Hmm. When I try to type "pink", it automatically comes out as "punk".

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Kat sent me to DKSH that day. It was raining heavily, and the place is pretty damned difficult to find - ended up in three separate buildings - their headquarters, marketing and finally, camera service. DKSH is apparently the only licensed Casio repairer in town - basically my uncle's camera has conked, and I'm not sure why or how it occured.

It's an old model that's out of production - so I've sent it to be fixed and am waiting for them to call and tell me what's up. Sigh. I bet there's a high chance he's going to freak out when I tell him.

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Was in The Curve last night, first at Paddington's Pancakes with some friends, where we ended up talking about 6degrees of separation - the networks we discovered amongst us were....interesting....if somewhat distant in my memory by now. Also talked about people who resemble animals.

Some of the people I've been meeting are kinda interested in going for activist-y stuff.... I usually just lump all people so inclined together, and throw them in Jac's direction, since I only know of Katagender events and rarely anything else. But since KG has a few activities coming up soon, I suggested they give the people at KG a shot first to see what it's like.

The passive curiosity I've been encountering makes me think that lite acvitism is something that can be successfully marketed with minimal effort - but I want to analyse if this is the general KL populace, or if I've just found a group of people who share the same interests with each other (I have a feeling right now it's the latter - because I have little faith in the rest of you buggers).

Later on Laundry Bar for Moonshine (disabling right click is nawt cool). I've become the kind of person to sit outside where you can't really hear the music, then again, I've also stopped going for gigs alone so I need a table to plonk my friends on, kan? And if they're drinking, I shouldn't be left out, kan?

Usually when I get to Laundry I do that once over, walk around and look for people I know to say hi before vanishing the rest of the night kinda thing. Was lazy that night, so ended up meeting Albert because he walks around taking photographs (and played with my hair because he seems thrilled to see it combed). Someone else came up to our table (I'd noticed her earlier because she managed to find a dress in the exact shade of blue as the logo I had axed), and asked if she could take our photo, and I wanted to ask her if she was this person, but she zipped off too soon and I couldn't be bothered.

One of my friends had been seeing Zedeck around, being all le pretty. Last night he met Zheng, and with joking despair asked how the hell I ended up housemates with such pretty boys. I spiked their drinks with drugs, of course. I told him I was a natural fag hag, except most of them aren't actually fags, they just make quite a lot of men wish they were so inclined.

Maybe if we get all psychoanalytical and shit, we could say I'm really a gay man, but I don't want to be gay, so I'm surrounding myself with all these people I would turn into a gay man for except for the part where they aren't gay either. Or maybe I'm a lesbian who subconsciously likes guys (actually, it's not that subconscious a process, just not directed at these two). Or maybe I'm bi (but that sounds really boring). Or maybe I'm straight (but that'll be a really dubious thing to say right now).

Or maybe, I live in a house where the boys just happen to be pretty.

=====

Tei is seeing me towards the tail-end of my "I REALLY ran out of clothes and need to do my laundry" dressing. I was surprised that she was surprised at how I looked - These are all the clothes I used to wear for quiiiite some time when we first knew each other, but after I'd cut my hair really short the new image completely erased all her memories of me looking like this. Then my hair grew long but the clothes never reverted back.

Now her memories are back on what is called my "pompuan days". I don't know what my days will be called when the tshirts and cargoes return (just washed my clothes yesterday), since I just learned recently that wearing baggy clothes = Pompuan in some circles. Don't reckon my personality is male enough to qualify for "jantan" (I think it'll look a bit awkward if I tried it). Heh. Not that it matters.

Holy crap. Run out of clothes for a few days = Blog fodder for a week. When was the last time I talked so much about how I look???

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It'll be a fricking long weekend.

Tomorrow I head out for a whole day of work - far as I know, alone - at Tasik Chini. It comes under a series of Digi Amazing Malaysians events. My day'll start really early, and I opted for returning home past midnight as opposed to staying for a night, so I can get cracking on.....even more work.

Presented my work in class today - came up with a series of postcards as part of the brand identity. The postcards did quite well, which is great. I thought I would scream this morning because Photoshop had died on me (along with all the unsaved postcards files), but I just numbly clicked away what I could in the morning. It was a lot faster reconstructing the postcards, than it was coming up with the original designs.

Thought I would make it to college punctual, then had trouble with Malaysia's excellent public transport system and by the time I arrived - Alfredo told me I was two minutes late, and I cannot emphasise how much that makes me irked at myself.

There was a baby monkey in college today. Kept hovering outside our class, peeking in through the windows, looking all cute and stuff. During our break, I found it pressed against yet another window. I pressed my finger against the glass, and the monkey started slowly trying to kiss my finger. It just kept slowly pressing it's lips against the window, very naturally affectionate. I want a baby pet monkey (not to kiss my fingers, they just look cute).

Zheng came home and fixed the electricity. I figured it had tripped but couldn't find the whatsit box to flip the switch back. Now Jerng and Jemufo are home and we're gonna cook dinner.

By "we" I mean I eat and they cook.

Written by lainie at 08:39 PM on April 15, 2007.

About to leave for dinner at the night market in ten minutes with housemates, until Zedeck asks for half an hour.

Lainie: Princess needs time to get ready.
Jemufo: Whyyyyyyy. No. We're just going to pasar malam!
Lainie: You go negotiate with princess then.
Jemufo: Lol.

Zedeck's not a princess though, he just has a lot of male femininity*. Kinda like how I occasionally have my female masculinity moments, except it's totally not the same. I have no idea what I'm talking about, I just like having opportunities to call him a princess.

*However that's spelled.

=====

Was awake by 8am yesterday. Sickly, too. Must have been why I've been so easily exhausted lately, kept accidentally falling asleep when I was just supposed to be sitting in front of my computer.

Joined a group of people at KL Sentral and made our way to Kuantan, in Pahang. Met a dancer called Elaine - she was was talking about how she got really nice keropoks the day before, and the rest stop was selling pricey ones that didn't look yummy. I thought it was funny, but mostly, she just ended up making me want nice keropok too, which makes her evil influence. She ended up eating an apple, and I got some buffet lunch thing at hotel.

Also met a Brenda. We were getting coffee when she saw a friend and ran out to hug her. I recognised her friend as an ex-colleague of some of my friends, so pretty much figured Brenda would know the same people I do. Turns out she's doing a series of documentaries, and some of the Bau Bau Cafe kids are gonna be in it. Asked her if she was in Komas, turns out she isn't, but the company she works for is related. Later on she succumbed to the sales going on across the road and bought a pair of shoes, nice red and white ones.

Made our way to Lake Chini. Very beautiful place, should definitely keep it the way it looks and not plonk a hotel resort there or something. Took a brief boat ride to an island. There was a welcoming performance there, by the Jakun people. I'm getting quite familiar with the orang asli performances - though I do wonder if we get the sanitised versions? Cause I've encountered lil bits of......more varied....performances, while wandering around the village. I noticed some of them wore weavings very similiar (if not identical) to the Mah Meri tribes, which I thought peculiar because I had understood Mah Meri families to each own the intellectual copyright to their inherited weaving designs (don't quote me on this, it's extrapolation on my part - I doubt many people actually pay attention to artistic copyright from orang asli communities).

There were monkeys chained to very tall trees there. I've been seeing so many cute monkeys lately, it makes me want to own one briefly. Is it terrible, the moment I see something I like my first instinct is ownership? Strikes me as greed, sometimes.

I liked the place. We took an hour long boat ride after, got a brief explanation of some of the fables surrounding the island. The trees there are so tall, the sun barely hit the ground. Rickety bridges. Lake reflecting the sun, till we went further in, boat being steered amongst the plants, occasionally a huge tree trunk over our heads. I told Zedeck later it was like instant meditation without actually meditating. So peaceful.

And, we're going out for dinner now. Blog later.

Written by lainie at 05:09 PM on April 16, 2007 in work?.

So. My night at Lake Chini.

Got off the boat ride, where I'd spent a part of it helping to stabilise the photographer right in front of me because she was propped up on her knees, facing me, and shooting pics of what was going on behind. I realised later that from the right (or wrong) angles, anyone with photographs of me doing that is gonna make me look..........pervy.

Watched an interesting performance at night, on a looong wooden bridge that led to the jetty. Called "The Voice of Lake Chini", where there was chanting, lanterns, and choreographed movements by a lot of students. I think this is one of the things Elaine was helping the kids out with.

After that, the lantern performers formed a line and led a procession back to the main stage on a football field, where we had a really nice dinner. There was some super sleazy dude there who tried to pick some of the production crew members up.

When that didn't work, he tried to get my phone number - his enticements being that he was cultured and wordly because he'd been to Sogo, Pertama Complex, and a few other dodgy malls around KL, and that his social circle included the cast from Scenario tv show, and.....Siti Nurhaliza. I kinda wanted to ask if he was friends with Mawi too, then decided against it. Honestly, one of the worst ways to try and impress me is to drop names - it's different if your friends just so happen to be famous, but using them to make yourself look better is Nawt Cool.

He accused me of being too rich and snobby to give him my phone number since I wasn't married, and goddammit, didn't I watch Scenario where all his friends were? ------Heh. Dumbass, did he just try to insult a phone number out of me? I told him he sounded richer than me, since I don't even own a television. Amusements while some dikir barat performance was going on. A lot of strange moths flying around that area.

The production crew girls called me over later, to help me make my escape, a while after he asked if I knew any of his friends in KL, like Marie, who works in Sogo. I'm really not so polite as to require rescuing from guys if I feel like it, but hey. Told them the first thing I'd noticed about their production crew was that it was the most smoke-free one I'd ever seen. You can usually spot who the production people are, a lil clump of black-clothed people dimly visible through the fog of ciggie smoke around them.

During dinner: Was seated between a customs dude who volunteers for MNS, and the press secretary, who wanted to know the reader demographics for Kakiseni and had the misfortune of sitting next to me just as my mood had momentarily run afoul (not that I have the information he was looking for, anyway). Was poked to standing position by two people, because I had thought it appropriate to sit through the Menteri Besar's very late arrival, and was informed protocol probably required me to stand. Apparently, I may have caused some confusion because I don't find it natural to follow what everyone else around me is doing (I seldom realise I'm doing it too). So stood I did.....eventually. I'm quite a social cretin, more often than not. Jerng says I should have just uncrossed my legs and crossed them the other way around when I was poked .

The term “Orang Asli” describes the three aboriginal groups native to Peninsular Malaysia; it implies they are, quite literally, the region’s “original people”: the eldest of these, the Semang, have an archaeological record reaching ten thousand years into the past, to the very dawn of mankind. Today, the Semang number a meagre 2,000. The lords of the land are other princes, now.

Snarkisms from Zedeck's editorial on Kakiseni.

This visit to Lake Chini where the Jakun orang asli live, coupled with my interest in Mah Meri carvings (spent a day poring over a borrowed book on Mah Meri fables and carvings in a library nearby late last year), means I am looking forward to reading Gabrielle Low's article on Kakiseni about the Mah Meri, Making Spirits (which is why the editorial touches on the topic).

I came home at almost 4am from Pahang. Was extremely distracted, grumpy and tired by then, and my attention span had been worn out by all the interesting stuff in the day, waiting for the nighttime performances, other distractions, long travels. I think I said something to Jemufo as I made my way up to my room, but all I really remember was waking up the next morning and wondering how I got home.

There's still a lot of the boat ride in me, though. And it's a good memory, calms me down when I listen to too many buses go by. Boat manoeuvering through huge clumps of pandan trees. Little pandan islands, really. Ara and merbok trees, tall, old. Old trees make me feel peaceful, they're a visible sign that a place has not been met with violence or war, and its wood not sacrificed for development, that the seeming inevitability of gentrification has not touched this place yet.

I discovered a few days ago the trees older than my parents, where I used to stay in KL, have been cut down to make way for development. Hopefully this doesn't happen in Chini.

And, I'll be leaving soon to get my registration done for the upcoming NOFX gig. If all goes well, I'll see ya babies there. w00t.

Written by lainie at 02:57 AM on April 18, 2007 in Friends.

I needed photographs for my assignment, and harassed a veeeery accomodating friend to help me out by posing for some shots while I giggled away .

I've noticed I tend to like grain in photos. Heck, I like out of focus photographs, and shallow DOF stuff too. Proceeded to majorly faff about at 3am, when I should be doing assignments, by uploading photos of photos uploaded on my comp, then blogging about them.


(those who recognise the person, play nice, and no naming names please)

Lots happened today, but my headache is bigger than my will to faff about. I'm just trying not to pull an all-nighter today. And, I won a contest (and trust me, this win has its ironies).

More tomorrow!

Written by lainie at 12:10 AM on April 19, 2007 in College, Daily Life.

Yesterday met up with Katagender people and talked about some of the upcoming actions. Katagender borders on self-parody.....Funny people. Will tell you about the stuff as they get around to it.

I was supposed to get NOFX tickets from Khai the day before, but he never did contact back. So I'll be trying my luck tomorrow, and if it doesn't work out...Oh well. Laundry anniversary night with friends sounds good too.

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Presented my assignments in class today in all of two minutes. We get to choose what we want to design for the rebranding assignment (we only have one huge project for comm design class in this final semester). I've done logos, print identity, flyers, postcards, signage (WIP) and have so frickin much more to go.

But it's allllll good today because WHEEEEEEEE Alfredo said he liked my presentation (I claimed it wasn't very original, but he really liked the ideas, so heck, decided I shouldn't argue too hard). I'd been designing toilet signage for today's class and wanted to put................peed out logos.......... or perfect round urine droplets. .......on the door.

The designs are hopefully a lot less tasteless than I make it sound. Swear.

My presentations are always the quickest in class? Some of the others take up to twenty minutes to go over the finer details of their work - mine is just bap!bap!bap!

Basically, "My idea is (one sentence), this is what I've done (1 minute slideshow), let's exchange a few comments", and whoop. It takes me longer to start up my laptop. Do I look too scary / bull-headed? Not enough work to discuss?

I think the critique part of our class is the most interesting, because we can test our designs, and exchange ideas on how to improve them - though I've noticed I tend to suggest how I'd personally solve a problem (to see if my ideas are feasible, learn while I can from Alfredo).....whereas Alfredo doesn't suggest stuff directly, he just asks questions and.....waits. So we think more for ourselves. But if everyone does that in class we learn less from each other....? Hrmmm.

With that in mind, now I've been holding back more lately on suggestions for my classmates - two of them are already using my ideas in their campaigns, and it's coming out exactly as I had proposed, which makes me a bit tentative that the process of idea-sharing doesn't seem carried further (though there is an element of coolness seeing your ideas executed by other hands, and made so prettyyyyy). I do wonder if I've cut off incentive for them to come up with their kickass ideas or something, since I don't care if my ideas get ganked.

So far all my ideas for this rebranding has been based on....well. I'd like to call them "concepts" but I worry they fall under "cheap gimmicks". As it is, I think I barely avoided the colours of my logo being called "Too Mariah Carey" by Alfredo - who also has other labels ala "baby poo" and "vomit" to describe some of our colour palettes.

I'm putting pee on doors as signage, I was prepared to declare my well of ideas run dry if today's preso had gone bad, so lucky for me it didn't.. Trippylicious.

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Spoke with admin in college about our exhibition coming up in May, the Icon Show. That took ages of standing around my laptop negotiating what we could afford. This was followed by shopping with Bee and Cyril for some material we needed to print on by Friday.

Then off to Central Market, where I had coffee, bought stationery, and shopped for paper stock because I'm tweaking my Print Identity assignment (PI = business card, letterhead, envelope, fax).

Hung out a bit with Jemufo in Bau Bau Cafe, had the kind of conversations that never existed between us about fish and boobs, and then I demonstrated how they combine into good drawings to look at (then again, anything with bewbies!)..... .........Never mind .

Indulged in our giggling fit, then went for philosophy class by Hishamuddin Rais - he's been covering early Islamic philosophy (which is influential in modern philo) the past few lessons. Today was about Mutazila, which I found passably interesting. Jemufo was so tired throughout it though.

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Eventually came home, blogged....and shall sleep. Tired as hell because I had absolutely shite sleep last night, then the looong day today filled with irregular eating habits, only caffeinated drinks and lotsa work. I've been thinking about my assignments and more, all the time I'm not working.

Then again, I did take a brief break when Pang came over to draw a portrait based on me (I hesitate to say it is me), but with one difference: the girl is majorly sticking her butt out (hence hesitation). This is the first in a long while I've been drawn without holding an alcoholic drink - though a glass of coffee was included.

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Alfredo really likes my toilet signage work, but I still need to refine it so people can clearly differentiate which washroom to go to. Hah.

I didn't explain the concept, just showed the designs to him (along with, by accident, one version I call the "Cum Shot Doors", because hasty vectoring of white liquid shapes can get tragic pretty easily). He looked at the "final" designs and caught on pretty quick. Just a two second pause, then he grinned and said "Ohhh....I get it".

So really, if he gets it, and I get it.....I'm sure people totally desperate to pee will grasp the semiotics (or so I tell myself).

Or maybe he's right and I just need to make it clearer even if I don't want to. GAH. Gonna sleep with a preoccupied mind. No wonder I've been sleeping so lightly and crappily.

I should set aside a night to get bloody wasted and have loooovely sleep. I think Rish is coming back soon (she doesn't tell me these date stuff anymore). I miss her heapos.

Written by lainie at 10:21 AM on April 19, 2007 in Arty stuff.

This is the template I came up with for restroom signage (ie: not what I presented in class, but the basic idea is there).



Explain later, I gots to get to class (and buy NOFX ticket). Not that hard to figure out, kan? Kaaaaaan?

Written by lainie at 03:10 AM on April 20, 2007 in Events.

NOFX. Concert. Awesome. They played three of my favourite tracks early in the set, w00t. For work as well - will be writin about it.

Had gone there with a red face from alcohol at Thai Club before that (the gig started over two hours late). Headed straight for the moshpit where you can expect things to get rocking. Opening act was Lychee King - so not kidding, one of their singers is crazy hot.

Moshpit. Crazy.

Was kicked, punched, climbed on, elbowed, squashed, sat on, hurled against and into others. Abused a few people near me as well, but not intentional violence....much. Caught my spectacles a few times as they were hit away from my face. My shoes are majorly torn - second pair I've lost in a mosh, that I remember.

Got out of the moshpit drenched in sweat, not all my own. Had to leave cause once the shoes go and I can't balance, I risk being floored around a bunch of very big, heavily moshing guys and the last time that happened wasn't pretty. Wasn't willing to ditch my shoes there and have my feet abused (I'll be walking a lot the next few days).

Actually, was thrown around a fair bit before I managed to escape the pit. Was kinda woozy cause I caught a blow to the back of my head as well, but that only lasted a while.

Went to Laundry after that, to meet some friends. Was exhausted by then. It rained. I'm still cold. Then had a bite at my old favourite hang out place with two friends, had a lot of laughs thanks to KA. Just got home.

Now my whole body hurts and I can feel bruises threatening to come up (hopefully not on my cheek, where it feels tender cause I got a pretty solid kick on it). No blood this time, which is a good thing.

Was at the edge of the crowd for the last song, and the moshing actually reached me there. Craaaazy. Good gig, good gig.

.....And now I have to make notes for this, then do my assignments for which I have no preparations, so I can present at 930am, and then go for a play after, followed by a good friend's birthday party (which is already threatening to be soaked in alcohol), followed by a trip for work to Kelantan the day after.

.........My hands are shaking, I'm not sure why. I think I'm tired. Or cold. And my head hurts. But happy . Early birthday present to myself.

I heart NOFX.

w00t.

Written by lainie at 06:59 PM on April 20, 2007 in Daily Life.

I had my worst presentation in college - ever.

Basically decided to have a lil nap, and my phone switched off on me (it's been doing that lately), so the alarm didn't ring. Started up at 9am, in a panic, and rushed off to class.

This is making me a bit nervous about other morning classes because I was under the impression that the alarm clock rings even if the phone is switched off (don't ask me how I got that idea). AHHHHH!!

Let's just say the amount of work I had done for today's class was severely unimpressive. I should have done college work first, and then work's work after my nap .

Felt like total crap.

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My hormones are driving me nuts. If I start randomly jumping people / inanimate objects, I don't know.... Jab me with an antidote or something (wow, that came out Freudian).

I didn't realise why till Jemufo sent me downstairs to mop up the huge puddles of water I accidentally caused doing my laundry, and my boobs kinda hurt with every step down the stairs. It's been a month, already????

PMS, it's coming here.

And of course, with that comes weird food cravings at odd hours, general lethargy, and increased grumpiness / threats of emo outbursts.

No worries though, I'll largely be Danlim's problem. He's the one who needs to sit on a plane with me tomorrow. Lesbian rage, rarrrrr....

=====

Rach, babes...Let's go for soup together when I get back..

Written by lainie at 02:45 PM on April 23, 2007 in work?, Friends, Home.

My phone takes a french leave on me occasionally, switching itself off. Also, it's taken to giving me erroneous notices of new messages in my inbox. I think the battery's part of the problem, it's been draining really fast lately.But mostly, my phone's just being a jerk.

I got two free CDs over the weekend - one from the NOFX gig (featuring Y2K and King Lychee), and a mix CD of British music from Loft. Happiness is music, already compiled for me.

Had been back in Loft after a brief hiatus of sober Friday nights, to celebrate a friend's birthday. Somehow, the crowd was a lot closer to the one that I associated Loft with, and they formed a moshpit. One minute we were all jumping to music, next thing I knew someone was bodysurfing towards the DJ and I was caught in a circle pit - I got pushed around a lil easily, body was tired (and, getting drunk).

Met Kinkybluefairyand DreamerCyn there. Also met about the entire Kakiseni office drones in Loft. And I probably met a lot more people I don't remember, because I drank and my memory when swimming in alco gets pretty shite. I have memories but I don't even know which are real.

=====

Saturday, hitched a ride with Danlim to KLIA, and caught a plane to Kelantan - it's only an hour long. I always set off the beeper, I'm starting to suspect I have metal plates in my head. Kelantan is filled with Jawi writing and political ads, it's strange. Doesn't Coca-Cola want to advertise too?

And, unlike KA's warning, I didn't see a single goat this time. Not even a bowl of mutton curry. Was driven to the hotel where we checked in, and I zoinked out watching The Aviator. Woke up, went for the event, where I saw really cute kittens. The dinner there was Kelantanese food, nice stuff. Then I came home, slept early, woke up at 6am - and lazed around in the big comfortable bed....... doing my assignments. Went for breakfast with Danny, then came back and lazed in the bathtub...... doing my assignments. It sounds so relaxing, bar the "assignments" part.

Flew back, went to Danlim's room where yet again I raided his comic collection. He's a good source of all things I love and cannot afford. A bunch of them were off to Ijok by-elections and asked me if I wanted to go. I could feel myself coming down with a bug, so I said no (also, could I be more disinterested in elections?). I'd read The Star on the airplane, about the dudes who'll be running in Ijok, and let's just say if I ever needed reliable sources of information, that newspaper is far, faaaaaaaaaaaar from being it. Biased like crazy.

=====

Headed home, thinking of dragging housemates out for nasi lemak dinner, taking a nap, followed by some work........I open the door and the first thing I see are a few women I don't recognise, giving off the aura of....feminism....

I forgot there was a birthday party going on at my place that day, and that Jemufo had a hand in the invitation list. I swear, that woman only knows her housemates, cousins, and.........feminists. More women were walking in while I hid in the kitchen with Jemufo and her friend, washing dishes.

Lainie: ....*whispers* Do they all share the same profession...?
Jemufo: .....*glares* Noooooo.
Lainie: Whatever.

Later on, I sat down with Jerng.

Lainie: Hey. I think the only males in this house are the ones who already live here.
Jerng: Hah. Yeah.

Then someone tells me there's one guy there because one of the girls brought a boyfriend. The party lasted a while, I had to avoid the alcohol because I was convinced I'd be floored, was already sneezy and coughing. Hid in Zedeck's room for a while reading comics because people I don't know in large numbers kinda intimidate me (more people showed up). Someone got engaged that night, and she came over to show the rock to the girls. A lot of high-pitched "Awwwwws" came out.

Towards the end of the night, some of the girls left.

Lainie: Are those all feminists?
Jemufo: .....*grin and keeps quiet*
Lainie: Whatever, I know they are.
Jemufo: Well yeah, those are. But not everyone inside is.
Lainie: You mean those two over there with....boyfriends?
Jemufo: *laughs*.

I find my humour where I can. Had to go to bed after a while because my head was throbbing. Took some flu meds, and sleppppppt.

=====

Today, I have a lot of work, and yet another birthday party to attend, if I do. Hmmm. Zedeck should be going (after a slight whine asking why the party couldn't be in our place). More alcohol, I have no brains left to waste away anyway.

=====

Never mind going out, I can't stand for long, I don't know how I'm getting to the doctor, my head is spinning and my limbs / joint hurts. On top of that, I sound horrible coughing all the time. Ahhhhhhh, I thought only straight people get sick.

.

Written by lainie at 09:19 AM on April 24, 2007 in Daily Life.

Long overdue pimpage:

People! I think you should point your mouse clickers over to Pelukismelukis' blog. I remember talking with someone two weeks back who said she likes the stuff there too. Damn on illustrations all over the blog.

Pelukis Melukis.

=====

Was looking at my medication packets today - and I just noticed. The clinic I visited yesterday is a branch of another one I used to go to in KL. The KL one I now avoid at all costs (trust me, it says something when I can remember the address of a generic sounding clinic name).

Also, these two places charge the same amount of fees, like wow, but in a bad way.

The last time I went to the KL one (for the flu as well), I'd ended up a lot worse because they gave me medication I was allergic to- Ampicillin.

This time around, I got Amoxicillin, cillin cillin cillin. Methinks I'd better call to make sure this batch of antibiotics won't leave me to lie around in severe pain and unable to move.

Typing this took a while. My fingers are numb.

====

Dear nurse: I did not mention I was allergic to ampicillin because I was sick and loopy, and tired from walking around searching for a clinic, while sick and loopy.

Also, is it not common procedure to ask your patients if they are allergic to any medication....like say, ampicillin, the meds you discharge to which it is pretty common to have adverse reactions?

Anyhoo. Amoxicillin does contain ampicillin in part. So I gotta walk back and change my medication. Fuck. No energy.

Bless Google.

Written by lainie at 09:27 PM on April 24, 2007 in Daily Life, Links / Email.

I've been worrying about the class exhibition coming up - couldn't join my classmates to look at some of the stuff we need over the weekend.

My main worries are more towards how the final outcome will be for my own show, not the materials, since we got two classmates to look at paint and wood; one of them's got a really great designer's eye for colour, and the other has a knack for handling big designs (and calligraphy, not that we'll be using his skill there), so together, they ought to be able to work out the details well.

In fact, it ought to be much lovelier than if I was there to fuck around with their instincts. I kinda rely on the idea that it's best to let people who are good at what they do, do what they do. Really want to see what they've come up with.

=====

I have fever and diarrhoea. Not good combo. One of the few times I have dinner on a regular hour and....Grrr. Everywhere weak. Legs weakest. Not happy.

I've been sweating easily today, just a walk down the stairs will do. I've been complaining that I don't smell like myself, but Jemufo says it could be my cold throwing off my olfactory senses. I can be quite sensitive to how people smell, once I associate a scent with one person, it throws me off when they don't smell the same - some more la when it's my own scent that's throwing me off.

I've been testing out my alarm clock today. It's not working, even when the phone is switched on. Gahhhhhh.

=====

Dreamt that I was falling face first into a plane of clouds, and I heard the change in atmosphere when I penetrated them. I had consciously jumped, knowing that there was bliss in the white, and pain when I'd hit the ground, but the ground would come later.

I had a few seconds of intense happiness, a rush straight to the head. Then I broke through the crowds, and there was a...silent scream...I can't describe it any other way. But one that got louder. I watched the mountains get closer, a whole lot of hurt in hilly lands waiting for me, and I didn't feel any regrets.

I woke up before I hit the ground - my body flailing in bed from dreaming that it had hit a few branches on the way down. I somehow knew in my dream that it wasn't real, but if I didn't wake up, I'd just stay there.

I'd wanted the clouds in my dream. Wanted the fleeting moments so much I didn't care what happened after. I woke up having the weird feeling I was trying to tell myself something.

The next time I went to sleep it was after watching the bewbie-massage video links that this fellow here sent me, and the dreams were much, much better.

=====

I'd been getting a lot of smses / emails recently that I should watch Ju Lin's footage of apostasy shown on Al-Jazeera. Danlim told me it should be interesting, what with footage of apostates in detention. I don't have access to Astro, so I rather ignored the messages.

That is, until I learned that the video is now on Youtube:

Even if you claim you're not Muslim...They can force you to remain "Muslim": Everywoman - Apostasy. I think it took a lot of arrogance on behalf of the child's grandparents to do what they did.

The woman from SIS is totally outtalking the Muslim law guy (I think he's not used to giving interviews, cause his side is......awkward).

=====

I bought pretty blue paper stock. I saw some I really wanted to get, but cannot fit into budget yet. I'll be skipping meals tomorrow though, so that means more $$ means more paper (however I get the energy to walk into the store).

I just said I'd replace dinner money with paper, huh? And my lecturer thinks we spend too much money on all other stuff. Pffft.

I didn't do much today (besides watching bewbie videos), and being (falsely) accused by Jemufo of making her choke on fried squid, just cause she doesn't chew her food properly. I told Bernice I couldn't make it for class today and her response was

Bernice: Shit! What??

Heh. Turns out almost the entire class was down with fever and couldn't attend today, except one student.

=====

I'm observing with interest that in certain positions, my legs get really trembly. Like I'm a drug addict going through...what's that word. Is "withdrawal" the word I'm looking for? Hrmm. Why does it feel inaccurate...?

I'm.....feeling trippy. And my arms are starting to shake...so...

I'll go give my phone to Jemufo to tinker with (because I really need to wake up early on Friday morning), hopefully she can tech out the alarm clock thing. I'm too weak to think about it.

=====

Update: This is probably something I should ask my housemates first, but since they're mostly not home: Does anyone have any Edward Said books to throw my way? There are some kinks in my understanding I need to iron out.

This reminds me of meeting this producer, Anna, in Kelantan...She told me I could go for a post-colonial approach in my essay for Bernice (apparently she'd taken cultural studies in London which involved the subject), but I said it was a bit overly ambitious for me to attempt anything along the likes of Spivak given the timeframe I had. I might have sounded defeatist . But really, a little bit of self-learning can only be carried so far and...where was I?

Right. Who has Said books?

Written by lainie at 04:46 AM on April 25, 2007 in Daily Life.

almost 5am and i have internet access, canyoubelieveit.
this part added in, and put on top, because i just remembered, and i like...

Risha is back. I so happy. of course, risha in danger of 1000 Years of Pain if she doesn't call me soon......because as it is I had to find out shes back by reading it on one of some networking site - kinda had this weird feeling she was up to something that i should check out, and voila.

excuse to send pissy message to her, though i cant ever be pissed at the woman for real

yeayyeayyeayyeyayeyayy. soulmate is back. memanglah- you think any decent soulmate of mine knows how to organise herself enough to email ahead and say she's coming back? though, to be fair, i seldom ask her to inform me, since i can never remember - but i'm used to her day before "i'm arriving at the airport at 6am can you pick me up?" phone calls. and her 6am "hey guess where i am" phonecalls the next day - which is not to say i WANT them, i'm just saying i'm used to knowing when she touches down, and not finding out on Friendster or someother.

i happy. titsucking cowface, call lah. you knows i loooooves ya. nerdwoman. rhinobutt. microbebrain.

====

ooo. i'm typing as i feel like i naturally do, but my fingers aren't hitting the keys the way i'm used to.

observation: i'm so groggy i put a paper down beside me..
and now i cant find it.
either because my mind is messing with me and
- i never had it
- i put it down way further than beside me
- i'm looking at it in non-recognition*

or maybe it flew away^

Artic Monkeys have a new album out - whatfuckingever. Ben and Rafil, under the name of Panda Head Curry also has new album out - One Thousand Homo Humpbacks, with graphics that bring tears to my eyes. The kind inspired by pain. Edrei**, I believe you can find your Gator Farm song there (one eyed snake!)

And....I'm really hacking my lungs out now...so assignment schedule, schmedule...I'll have to take my meds, go to sleep, and make use of my MC tomorrow - though I may go for class if I wake up in time.

I gave my phone to Jemufo to figure out and she has no idea what the hell's up with the alarm clock either.

Or, I could *not* take my meds and stand a much higher chance of waking up in time for class, even with the extra hours my body takes to rest....It's possible. Hmm. But my math could be off, it took me forever to understand a basic equation earlier in the afternoon. i dont know what i'm thinking

Oh fuck it.... part of my trachea made a threat to pop outta my throat, so meds it is.

*most likely
^also plausible.
**I somewhat marvel at my ability to type out html tags in this condition^^
^^and write footnotes.

Written by lainie at 11:43 AM on April 25, 2007 in Links / Email, Stupid, but fun..

*Sigh*. It's a tad strange that I'm gonna say this...butsohardtoresist and ihavenowillpower whattodo.

Hey people. See what Lee Kuan Yew, of le Singapore, was quoted as saying recently in a Reuters article entitled: Singapore considers legalizing homosexuality: Lee

What dykes can we build? Where do we get materials for the dykes? Do we excavate the sea bed? We are into a very serious problem," Lee said.

Gasp! They manufacture the dykes there! That explains a bit.......I've been told I fish in the wrong sea. I didn't know I had to...excavate...too.

Dear Lee Kuan Yew. Singapore, however it's doing it, is already churning out damn a lot of dykes. Don't worry. If you ever find out what material it is, let me know, please.

Of course there was also this bit in here:

Singapore, striving to cast off its staid image and overhaul its economy, might have to legalize homosexuality to become more cosmopolitan, but will preserve its core values, the city-state's founder Lee Kuan Yew said.

Not to become more equal, mind, but more cosmopolitan. Like the cocktail all homosexuals and chic women drink, when they live Sex and The City lives. Then he goes on and on to talk about the country's economy so much if it had an ego, it'd be glowing by now.

Singapore. They may not much care about your rights, but maaaan, do they like money. Is this what happens when a chunk of consumers with purchasing power are visibly gay.......?

=====

I just checked my stats. Holy shite, what added a few thousand more to my hitcount? Is Google crawling?

Double holy shite, I'm the third result on Google for.... Cunnilingus Empress.

So many things are making me crack up laughing hard today.

Written by lainie at 06:58 PM on April 25, 2007 in College.

Gah. Hacking lungs out.

I laughed so hard in my dreams this morning I woke myself up. Teacups, prophecies, fish and kooky friend. Long story. I came up with a proverb of sorts in my sleep, about love and luck and waking up to your reflection the next morning in the right basin, but I can no longer remember it.

I just remember groggily trying to get back to sleep, but laughing till my stomach cramped up, so I had to wake up anyway.

=====

I've changed my medication. Yes, I was allergic to the other batch after all. Ah well.

=====

After much hesitation, I decided to go to college (late - wouldn't have lasted all day in the air conditioning anyway). Was wondering why I was worried about being sick in college till, lugging my laptop, I arrived at the unsteady staircase leading up to the classroom. I looked up at the loong, looong flight.

Lainie: Ahhh.....

Retrospect is so unhelpful.

I broke out into sweat walking upstairs, it was weird. Heck, I perspired just getting up from my chair to look at some of my classmate's works and sitting down again. The room was so cold.

After our break, I was walking up the stairs when Alfredo asked how I was doing. I said I was fine, and made like triple internal memos about precisely how bad an idea it would be to tumble backwards and squish my lecturer, because as I said that my legs went "Beep: Battery Low".

Not that I reckon he's easy to squish, big dude. It'd take like....a running bodyslam or something.