Written by lainie at 04:43 PM on September 2, 2007 in Daily Life.

I typed this out like...some time back and have no time to read the shite I write, so if you do....Well.

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28th August:

Superfishballs took me and Nessa around PJ, looking at apartments. Househunting isn't too fun, in fact, I find it tedious. All apartments look the same. I want something small, comfy looking and for some reason I keep thinking of blue walls.

At one point we took a shortcut that involved scaling a wall (some shortcut it was) and I got water kicked in my face by Nessa, who was ahead of me. Bloody hell....

Went back to Fishball's place in between waiting for landlords, and whooooo. I like his toy collection. And for the benefit of the lesbian-centric audience I seem to have gained with this blog, though some toys run on batteries, not all of them go bzzzt bzzzt bzzzzzt. Though Superfishballs could probably orgasm through his Transformers and Hellboy collection alone. Though for the sake of discussion, I suppose any physically capable person could, given a bit of creativity? Never mind.

Nessa had to leave soon, to get on a bus back to Ipoh. After, I suggested to Fishball we flash his neighbours. We headed to the window, posed, threw open the curtains, and saw................like, not a damn person around. What's the use of public disregard for decency laws if no one's around to be offended / amused?

Editor joined us later on, and we went to look at places again.

We went to KFC for dinner. Then I dragged them with me to the Flickr party in Maison. The Flickr people were there, some were enthusiastically drunk, one threw herself over our legs and posed like Cleopatra. They took our pictures, people with cameras were everywhere, freebies were handed out, finger food, cocktails and wine. Geek celebs about. Ding and Tim both whacked me for not telling them about the party when I knew of it.

I'd kinda assumed that one being an adoring Heather Champ worshipper of many years, and the other being uber geek at Mindvalley, that the two of you would know already, for crying out loud. Not like this event was a secret, or that either of you are low on geekcred.

Left because something came up that I needed to do, but in the ten minutes it took for me to get there I wasn't needed anymore. Ah well.

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30th August.

It's Merdeka tomorrow. I am quoted in the newspaper today on my opinion of our country's official national day (can't remember what I said). I can tell you that like most people I know, patriotic or otherwise, the day holds little significance to me. I'm not inclined towards grandiose "special occasion" commemorative days.

From me to Malaysia, I think it's easier to say "Ah, damn. Better luck next time", than it is to say "Duuuude! You rock!". Yknow what I mean? Do I sound like I watched too much Ninja Turtles cartoons?

I have a text in my phone that says: NATIONAL DAY OFFER: Dial 999 and say "BOMB in PARLIAMENT". Win a free trip to Central Jail. Food and lodging FREE for 14 years. Offer valid til 31st August. So hurry....merdeka.

11pm, and my last night here - I've been living in Bangsar Park the past eight months, in a house with red doors and tiled floors. Zedeck moved out the remainders of his stuff today. He'll have a new housemate for all of six months, then who knows where Zed will go to further his studies. We talked a bit, sitting by the roadside with his luggage because he couldn't get a cab.

Zed left, and I'm the last one to stay in this house and keep a few lights switched on (to make it look more occupied than it is because I am at heart, totally a coward). At midnight I'm going to sit on the balcony with a drink, dangling my feet over the edge, alone. And I'm gonna see if I can spot the fireworks from here.

Bangsar Park's a nice area, but perhaps less my style. Something about seeing too many people jogging by and walking dogs on a daily basis that reminds me I don't identify with the kind of stability I associate with pets and, er, daily exercise.

During our housecooling party, I was informed that the house we lived in was previously the drug den for about a decade, occupied by assorted dodgy characters and raided on a regular basis by the police. How the dude knows that, I won't ask.

Well, at least that explains a few things. Our landlord's most urgent request was that we kept the house in good condition, and that no drugs whatsoever are to be used here (and no, we didn't have problems sticking to that) in order to....preserve the condition of the house. But that we could have parties (no problems there either).

I was thinking a few stoned people around the house did far less damage than a house full of drunken revellers. But that was before I found out this house used to be a major drug den - though to be very honest, how is physical property endangered by druggies? It's not like they play dart games on the walls with syringes, right? Maybe it was all the police raiding keeping the property value down.

I keep thinking of the cliched desperate addict, going by the house, hoping the dealer's in, and DAMMIT! It's still those five boho, hobo, partially homo kids, recycling beer cans and gin bottles, with their damn compost heap and jasmine tree in the garden, all armed with laptops and occasionally some guitar-playing with singalongs. What a nasty shock that must have been. We may as well have all dressed up as Carebears and tapdanced on the balcony while we were at it.

Actually, that could convince many landlord their tenants have all lost their minds, presumably on drugs.

Tei suggested I knock on all the floors / ceilings and look for packets of drugs or money. What an excellent idea for a side career, scavenging for illicit substances!

Am taking a break from packing my stuff, to type this out. Surrounded by loose plastic bags stuffed with paper-based products. I may not be recycling these things much, but at least I reuse...? Everytime I pack my belongings I encounter the crazy amount of flyers / books / magazines / research papers / assignments I accumalate in the span of a few months.

I'm packing but I don't know where I'm going, I only know my things have to leave the house before I even have a place to go to.

The offer I had to move into Josie's place was rescinded less than half a day before I actually moved in, because her housemates didn't like the idea. So yeah. I think a large part of me is used to the idea of lack of security, so I have vague plans and no confirmed long term accomodation. Don't get me wrong, I like stability / security and all that, I'm just not familiar with it.

I'm moving my stuff into my aunt's house, a place I can't stay in long term alone (it's a VERY dodgy area). I'm already looking for my stun gun so I can charge it.

I have other offers, but mostly (though they have not said it) to the inconvenience of friends really too generous with their personal space. That, and some less altruistic offers from those trying to get into my pants, but all is cool . Honestly, tell a large number of people you won't have a bed to sleep in the next night, and it's interesting what happens. Tei also offered a spare room in her place, but I'll see how security in my aunt's area has changed since I left before I make any decisions.

I've not had time to think about this at all (where to stay, that is), though it's weighing on my mind as I type. I'm allowing my subconscious to deal with it - basically, I have no intentions to analyse my current transient state even though I should. I kinda have a lot to deal with as it is.

I'm supposed to be at Sonia's farewell party (to amongst other things, perve on her sister), but the way the day is going, I guess I can't. My loss :/. Then again, travel has been a bit of a bitch today because the cabbies are on strike.

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29th August

I looked at some homes, went through some shite that nearly ran me ragged. Also had some work in PJ - a complete hassle cause I thought I lost my phone in the back of a cab for the third time ever.

I actually missed an appointment because I was cut off from all modes of communication with the guy, or people with his number. I had to come home to shower - just to cool down and stop stressing out (to be fair, I could probably be detected by nose from more than a respectable distance by then)- found my phone on the floor with like a gabillion missed calls, including many many many from Effa. Ran out of credit while rescheduling appointment, which made me want to get into the shower and shampoo my hair yet again.

Later met a photographer to collect some files, and somehow had a very brief talk on how some girls take too long in the shower washing their hair. And regardless of whatever jokes about wanking I am probably inviting at this point, really, I was just shampooing enough to create my own artificial tropical rainforest perfume environment. Wifi wasn't working where it was supposed to, which I needed for a job. Fortunately I'd already sent everything ahead and had only wanted to append some extra minor details, so I shrugged and popped over to Tei's place for a while to unwind.

She makes the places she lives in so homey and comfy, with warm lighting and pillows everywhere, it's like an instant meditation experience. She stuck a cup of coffee in my hands, we each took a corner of the couch, and chilled out in front of the tv while her younger sister flipped the channels. Had, as usual, a book propped up in front of me, while she chatted on the phone with Smile.

Smile told Tei she had to entertain me while I was over there.

Tei: Lains, do you need to be entertained?
Lainie: Eh? What for?

Smile kicked her off the phone conversation anyway.

Lainie: Er. Does this mean I have to stop what I'm doing and entertain you too?

We decided to just bum around instead. So much easier. Or maybe we're social cretins.

=====

Back in PJ again today. No internet at home means I had to get to the Komas office so I could communicate with Effa directly. I appreciate face to face interaction anyway, easier to track changes needed compared to a multitude of one-liner emails and online chat conversations. Told Ding that Effa thought I was avoiding her (we both owe Effa some work), and Ding accused me of not layaning her on the phone either. Excuuuuse me? I don't even remember seeing a missed call record from you when I got my phone -____-"

Farid came over and picked me up so we could go for dinner, and he could tell me about the film he'd been shooting over the weekend. I like hanging out with him - Farid's one of the few people I can yak with a lot, I don't even realise I'm doing it around him. I took him for nasi lemak, one of my staples from the clubbing days, and a meal I probably won't have that much of after I move, since I don't really like the nasi lemak anywhere else.

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August 31st:

Accidentally fell asleep in undignified position while packing halfway last night. Strange indents all over my skin. I don't want to go into detail, but let's just say if you found my body then you'd have been less inclined to take advantage of my unconsciousness, as you'd have been to draw a chalk line on the floor around me.

Really, you think the least I could do was pass out in a more graceful pose, but I suppose there weren't any witnesses around for that.

Tei and Smile visited me first. Oh, it was a day of lovely weather and bright smiles when they visited. Then they came into the house and saw the amount of stuff I had to move, and I think that dampened the spirits a bit. Such sweethearts though, they helped me pack lots of stuff into Tei's Wira car (with Smile wrily observing that Tei was good at stuffing). They got way more boxes in than I thought ever possible with a car that size. Ahhhhh, production people, so good at making vehicles take more items than they should.

We set off to my old KL home, and I was thinking it'd be awesome if the car was filled with pirate's treasure. Instead, they were filled with my clothes, books, books, books. Not really as exciting as gold coins, when you compare your earthly posessions that way.

Smile and Tei were so amazed at my old house, and those old school "refrigerators" we use, really a ventilated cupboard with wire netting, and a giant urn filled with water (which my grandmother used to store watermelons in). It's from the colonial times, and filled with my grandparents' stuff still. Tei really likes it here, and said she'd like to rent it if she needed a place. I can imagine staying with her and jiving well, but she has family to stay with anyway.

Then Tei and I introduced Smile to something we've not done together in a while - eat beef noodles. Conversation then was awkward, perhaps more on my side than Tei's. Smile doesn't know much about me, I suppose, so she's slowly changing that. The last time, it was the whole "How did you know you are gay". This time around it was more on the mechanics of that. Usually Tei is on the receiving end of sharp questions from Smile, this time I squirmed while Tei took on my role of sniggering from the side.

They could only make one trip before they had to rush off and do other things, so they dropped me off back in Bangsar, where Farid was waiting with his car to help me with the remainder of the stuff I had. Farid always jokes that he owes me oxygen, for some trivial thing I'd done for him before. After yesterday though, I think I'd better give him my left lung or something, the amount he hauled, drove back and forth, waited patiently and so on. We made three trips from Bangsar to KL, and there are some roads in KL Farid does not want to see ever again, for the next month or so.

Went for a drink with him in a mamak near my house in Bangsar, before driving the last load back to KL. Scrabble friend Annie calls to say she has purchased a board so we don't have to borrow one, w000000t!

Farid and I talked about moving out of my house, and back to the family home. Like an unsuccessful attempt to fly out of the coop, but at least I have one to return to in times of need. I told him I totally saw why some people run back to their mothers when times get rough. It felt good to know I had a family home somewhere, even though no one lives in it anymore. But it doesn't really matter because I'm used to situations piling up on me, so I can stay calm in the middle of a lot and just keep going through.

Then I get a phone call from a worried aunt informing me the house I've just moved all my stuff into, has been rented out. I need to get out soon. I told Farid.

Lainie: So now can I go crazy?
Farid: Er. I think so, yes.

Forget boho. Laughed with Farid about how I was going to be a homo hobo living out of a bag on the streets. All ghetto, no fabulous. So yeah, I just moved all my stuff into a home I no longer have. Bleh. Then Farid gave me a penis keychain he got me from Thailand, which I thought was hilarious and immediately stuck onto my bag.

I made my way to Tei's home in PJ. Boys were starting the fire at the BBQ, Tei was being nagged to change her outfit for the party they were having, Smile was making garlic bread and tuna pasta.

I lined chairs along a long table for the dinner, sampled the tuna pasta, sliced some bread, helped myself to Ribena, showered at Tei's, and came out to meet the guests who were arriving. I was actually supposed to go for Danlim's housewarming, but I needed a place to shower and frankly, the rate I was going I would have passed out in the alcoholic fumes I imagine his party had

Towards the end of the night (when the party was gonna really begin) I was so tired I didn't realise I was staring vacantly at the others, mouth agape. There was wine and Bailey's but I only wanted Ribena and roasted marshmallows.

Tei told me to crash in her room for a while, which I did. Then I made my way to the den and KOed for almost twelve hours. People randomly sliding the door open must have been surprised (read: shocked) to find me sprawled there.

I am going to be discarding / giving away stuff this month. Have to sort through.

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1st Sept.

Woke up when Tei slided open the den door.

Lainie: Wow. I really KOed huh?
Tei: Yeah, you did . Want some lunch?

Had leftover tuna pasta, along with some spicy prawn and veggie thing Tei's grandma cooked. Drank more Ribena. Checked my phone and saw some messages that.....Errrr. Yknow, I gotta stop calling or messaging people in my sleep, not so much because I say anything that jeopardises myself, but because I have no frickin memory of what I've said.

Later I called a truck driver to meet me in Bangsar to lug the fridge back to KL. Turns out I'd already arranged everything a few hours ago in my sleep and only had to show up and get it done. At least I'm an efficient sleeptalker?

He asked me where in KL I was going, and I named a famous restaurant near my home. He paused and said he knew a lot of the old families living there (and I know ALL of them here).

Turns out he's friends with my whole family, has known them for decades, used to come over for dinner, and he could describe the sinks, cupboards, tables and whatnot - in fact, he built some of them.

He came into my house, pointed at the sink in the living room and said it was done for RM250, many years ago. He helped my aunt do all the stuff around the house before my uncle came home. Talked to me about what my aunts and uncles were like when they were younger, how my aunt lived in this house with her younger sister, what it was like when uncle returned from university to work.

Not that I got a discount out of it, but it wouldn't have been fair anyway considering I already got very cheap rates since I was only moving one object.

He told me the house next door used to be haunted by a lady ghost sitting at the stairways, but that it didn't happen after people moved in. Great, yknow, this house I'm in has only been unoccupied for months. I have a vivid imagination, braveless balls and wonky eyes - this can go nowhere good.

I did something I used to do in this house everytime I walked through the doors, before I stayed here and started forgetting every so often. I lit some joss sticks for the ancestral tablet.

Listening to The National's Friend of Mine. Between The National, PJ Harvey, Stars, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and Silverchair, I can compose a "Lainie's August" soundtrack.

Written by lainie at 02:27 PM on September 5, 2007 in work?, Daily Life.

My new url: http://lainie.tabulas.com
w00t. Much better.

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Long shot, but does anyone have heaps of white tshirts (the plainer the better) to give to me? It's for an art installation thing.

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I still don't have regular internet access. If I repeat anything it's because I can't remember stuff.

In the past few days I've:

Gone for Bernard / Bernice Chauly's joint birthday party at Bernard's place. I wanted to sublet it from him for this month, but he's already on a plane to UK now, too late . Zedeck was there, I know because he kicked my butt and I turned around to stare at his red, red face.

Farid and I stayed till really really late, hanging out with a group of people that included 4 film lecturers, so we talked about film a lot. And faggotless fags, which is what happens when people run out of ciggies and start digging around in ashtrays for some stray smokes.

Stayed at Farid's place again.

Attended Farid's shoot for the film Ringgit Rhapsodies (it has a new title now, but I forget what it is).

Babysitted Bernice's two kids. Alternated between being called talent manager / nanny. The elder one is a pretty good child talent, takes direction very well. The younger one doesn't drink cola, and likes morbid films. A few moments here and there cause me to panic and send demanding smses to Ding that she come and babysit instead.

Popped by to Komas office on a very very very tight budget.

Finished up a brochure for printing.

Astounded Chitoo with my watery memory, monkey logic and complete lack of hold on reality.

Had a 4-person Katagender meet. Suddenly in need of many white tshirts.

Hitched a ride to Kafir's place, then back to Farid's, through the goodwill of others.

Cat allergies, whoooo. Got dropped off home.

Zonked out standing up - also did a lot of things I cannot remember while on it. Including design work.

Woke up and fixed the insanity that is doing graphic design while falling asleep.

Missed a bus. Cursed a bus driver and mentally kicked myself. Waiting around, discover I know quite a lot of people living in the same building as Farid.

Fielded some phone calls.

Got a freelance job offer thanks to Smile, Smile, Smile.

Got to KLCC, bunting design presentation went really really well. Poster could have been better. Expecting to finalise by tomorrow.

Bummed a free dinner.

=====

Got a phone call from Bernice. Bless her and Bernard, I can now rent Bernard's place for a month, so I don't have to squat in people's homes.

(and before anyone asks - Bernard is in London).

Written by lainie at 05:00 PM on September 6, 2007 in work?, Daily Life, Music, Events.

Bunga Mangga Bunga Raya!

I've been flooded lately with flyers for a play that promises to be teh awesome.



Venue : The Actors Studio @ BSC
Date & Time : Thu 6 - Sun 9 Sep 2007 (Thu-Sat: 8.30pm; Sun: 3pm)
Tickets : RM40/ RM20 (students/ senior citizens)
Ticket Contact : TAS@BSC: 03-2094 1400/ 0400
Phone : 03-7725 4858 (Five Arts Centre)

More info at Kakiseni

Five Arts Centre is a favourite of mine, simply because I like a lot of their productions so far. A LOT of people involved this time around, a lot of names I like, so I'm definitely going.


Kakiseni has this to say:

RECOMMENDED! Not for nothing has Marion D'Cruz been called a dance terrorist; it has been said that a choregraphy with her name on it always leaves a wake of new reactions to dance. And this time round, it has been eight long years since her last work and she's got a busload of people who're are not dancers. Get ready, folks!

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I stayed in my aunt's place in Sierramas the night before, doing some design work for her. I'd designed a HUGE poster, and emailed her manager and KLCC management a preview jpeg to approve the design (I found such a lovely red that goes with their purple....)

I specifically said to the manger it was only for preview on the computer, not print.

He sent it to the printers.
($&%@*&#@%*&%)

Printers tell him the file is not meant for printing. He calls me to enquire, and I am somewhat taken aback($&%@*&#@%*&%).

I tell him it's not for printing, as I'd said the day before, and that the printing file would be delivered today.

This morning, he goes off and takes that very same file that has been rejected for printing twice....by myself and the printers....

And he sent it to the printers.

I get a call today from a very angry aunt demanding to know why I have not made clear to the manager that it's not the file for printing.

You know, the way the world works, as the graphic designer...As long as the poster doesn't happen as it should, it's pretty much my fault and responsibility - So I have to take it. Sigh.

Contingency plans and all that.
I......may be developing an allergy to working with managers.
And it cost me almost thirty bucks to get out of Sierramas (near Sungai Buloh)...The hell.

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Went with a bunch of friends to watch Isaac Entry's last performance in Malaysia, before the dude heads off back to Sydney. It was in The Attic, in Bangsar. Didn't catch some of his own songs that I really like, but I figure the next time he comes back, whenever it may be, I'll listen to it then . His last song was really popular....Mixture of English, Iban, Malay and Spanish language about love. Fun.

I've not talked to him, or watched him perform for a while, beyond the occasional run in some time back in Laundry. He came over and talked a while...

He's gonna be performing in a Singaporean festival, fully funded, because the dude in charge saw videos of Isaac performing...... on my Youtube account.

Isaac Entry, Reza Salleh, and Kevin Brokenscar in Olive Room Sessions, 2006

Pretty cool, actually. He wanted to buy me a drink as a thank you, but I was only on coffee that night, as usual . Didn't think I could have handled alcohol..

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Asked Lola to join us, if she could find a top to wear. She said it was either that or she'd show up topless, and I decided that either option was fine by me, with an ambling preference towards topless.

As she walked away from a group of girls, to head home, she generously offered to "poke us all"..Unfortunately, she meant Facebook, and that's her new currency for getting away with.... everything. Including logging into KA's account in a gay website and sending private messages to (I presume) dodgy lesbians.

Met someone I'd been introduced to before, briefly. Ding very kindly pointed out that I didn't have many memories of that - to be fair, we were introduced at the Flickr 24 hour party, and my mind was buzzing with stuff to worry about that night. That, and I'm a social cretin.

Bummed with her and Jemufo, talking about the things I usually don't talk about. Got driven by a slightly high Ding to Ampang where we had some supper, before I headed back to Ding's building to stay with Farid.

Watched CSI with Farid, and his new documentary.

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Went for lunch with two geeks today talking about Hack in The Box security conference. Got my blog tagging bitched about . Found myself thinking of tin foil hats after a while, which isn't relevant, but heck. Had Kickapoooooooooooooooo.

Met up with Bernice after that in BSC, walked around the supermarket looking at RM400 foie gras. Bloody hell.

She brought me to her brother's place, showed me around and handed me the keys!

So, I have now moved into my new home for the next month - Bernard'll be in London for the next few months, and his housemate Lorna's in Hong Kong, so it's pretty much just gonna be me.

Tonight is the test - if I'm okay with this place, or if the presence some people have sensed wreaks havoc upon my nerves.

Now I'm at this house, I'm actually listening to the radio...I have INTERNET ACCESS! And access to a TV, DVD player, some movies, a lot of cool books, old school furniture, cola and Cheezels. I find I can comfortably listen to jazz on my computer, and some pop rock song from Hitz.fm.

I hope this works out. The book collection here is awesome, I'm so happy.

=====

CK sent me a new song Ben's Bitches have worked on. It's called Nak Kentut. And it's acoustic.

I don't want to describe further.

Written by lainie at 04:09 PM on September 9, 2007 in Stupid, but fun., Events, Arty stuff.

Pulp Secret: Youtube account about comics. If you like comics, I strongly recommended you do not watch their videos unless you have oodles and oodles of cash to spend, because their videos will make you want to own a lot of things.

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Friday was spent in Annexe, with a few others from Katagender, setting up our installation / exhibition on history of sexuality in Msia. Chi was as usual the most (and only) punctual person there. I was groggy because the night before some of the KG people were talking about ghosts.

Lainie: I couldn't sleep last night, told you guys not to talk about it!
Jac: But you think hantu tetek is scary, that's so funny.
Lainie: I don't care if you're talking about elves, I'm still scared.


We're hanging up clothes, each beeeeyooootifully and painstakingly painted with date, and a lil story on what happened then. Then we invite people to explore it. Great plan, huh?

Well, actually, what really happened was we showed up with clothes, string and no plans whatsoever, except that somehow, the clothes would be hung up (self plagiarism of Dirty Laundry)

Lainie: So. We're pretty much building a giant closet, and getting people to come in.

Eventually it evolved into some massive laundromat / room / not a closet / I don't know what the room was about anymore but it's got clothes and boxes in it.



In between last minute panicky painting and hanging, talked about school days and how I thought those marching uniformed clubs were crazy. Today I looked up the pledge for Persekutuan Pengakap Malaysia, which is our country's Boy Scouts. Check out #7:

A Scout always follow his parents',Leaders' orders without any questions.

Dude.....That's so not cool.

Then Jac and Chi started going through a list of words, and amidst slut / whore / bitch / bastard, Chi noted that bastard was not used in an affectionate way to address people. I in turn noted that he must travel in different social circles from mine, where I don't think there *are* any usually derogatory terms that aren't loaded with meanings of affection anymore.

I came up with a bunch of ideas so lazy that Jac had to remind me I went to design school. But design students are the laziest bunch of idea generators about, didn't you know? It's only so cool because it allows other people to be lazy too (clearly I learned how to faff with words in college).

It was a bit of a despair situation till Razman came in and changed the lighting for us, and suddenly the subtle glow of spotlights made everything so much better.

We chalked black boxes (ganked from KOMAS) with faces / torsos / midget legs (not very tall boxes, them). Then we dressed up some of the boxes with clothes, and the idea is people can move them around as they please (whatever for, I don't know). At one point, Jac was holding this huge tudung cloth and wondering if it should be a tudung, or if we should tie it as a shawl.

Lainie: Might be a bit hard, tying a shawl around something with no shoulders.
Jac: It's okay, we can put a bra on something with no tits, we can put a shawl on something with no shoulders!
Lainie: Okay, point.

And when I told Chi to move the "man's face box" away from the "torso box" where I was drawing boobs.



Chi: Are you saying men can't have tits?
Lainie: Okay, point.

Chi also sat on a big phallic dong face, we took a picture, and later marvelled that I can remember what I do, considering I can't remember what I don't. You see, you just have to be doing the right things at the moment. It's not that I don't remember things, I just don't remember the useful things.

By evening, Jac had to run off for dinner. The rest of us, at Pang's suggestion, put some chairs inside the room for people to sit and have talks. There's also a huge example of Jac's brainfart on the wall: A "Pocket of Resistance" where we literally took a HUGE pocket (oh hah hah, we are all so witty), cut many lil pockets in them (well, Chi did, with big cloth and much double sided tape), and hung it up above a stairway you have to climb up, so you can submit your own stories of resistance there.

It's very nicely decorated by Fairuz and his friend, with zippers, clothe pockets, medicinal packages and whatnot on each pocket. Certainly beats us wondering if "Pocket" was too much of a hassle and if people would get it if we just stuck a bag somewhere. "Bag of Resistance" didn't have the same ring, though.

Jemufo wrote the suggestion for the pockets in Malay - but instead of writing "Penentangan anda", she wrote "Dengan tangan anda". Jac scratched that out and wrote "ooops" at the side. I think serious topics in the hands of KG gets done with a laugh.

We were quite amazed that Katagender managed to do what they managed to do. Set up an entire installation in one day, pretty much winging it the whole damn way, and it looks good! .......Jac says we've become event whores.

I'm not sure how anyone will intepret the room, if it will elicit a response - I'm not even sure what response we're looking for. What can one expect when confronted with calendar laundry, silly looking boxes, and pocket thing? Then again, I'm not sure many people understood most of what KataGender does.

Jac said that was why it's a good thing KataGender always hands out flyers at our event, so we have a statement / piece of paper to give to spectators that will tie it all in! And it will all make sense!

-- Actually, there have been no flyers. Mmmhmmm. Except that one time when 50 were distributed during Fiesta Feminista.

Katagender - most syiok sendiri bunch of people, evarrr. We should stop going for all these activist stuff and enrol ourselves in a fringe art fest.

Jac says not enough KataGender people with time to spare, so it's time again to discuss ending the group. Anyway, the exhibition is up till Monday, feel free to make your way to Annexe, Central Market, 2nd floor, Studio B.

=====

At the recommendation of a friend, I've signed up for some (fluff)friends pet application on Facebook. I thought I'd delete it a few minutes after adding it, let her earn her points.....

HOURS LATER, and I've been feeding the damn winged giraffe and petting it so much I think I'm trying to give it orgasms.

Friend I will quote without naming: OMG... stupid middle management people
Lainie: I'm in no place to say. I'm trying to have cybersex with a giraffe.

Dubious, I know.

This is what happens when I need distractions from distractions. Some people pet girls, some people pet.....cyber giraffes. Okay, I can shoot myself now.


By the way, the 404 page for (fluff) has a giraffe with dollar bills coming outta its arse. Just thought I'd mention.

=====

Played Scrabble with Lola. She manged to make "Dong", and I managed to make "Tits, Bi, and Pet", all in one turn. Where else can you get 24 points for TITS, short of joining sleaze contests?

Written by lainie at 07:04 PM on September 10, 2007 in Events.

Dudes, am inviting you people over to see this thing I was involved in over the weekend.

Merdeka & Sex!
Celebrating 50:44 years of independence

Is it a closet? Is it a dobi? Is it your neighbours' tepi kain hanging out for all to see?

Come check it out for yourself. KataGender has lined up more than half a century of sexuality defined in this country. Marvel at our laws on straight and queer sex. Wonder at the various sanctions on people wearing "non-Ministry approved" clothes. Fill in the pockets of resistance with your own stories. Make up robot Malaysians with chalky black boxes.

Studio B (below main gallery)
Central Market Annexe
7 Sept - 16 Sept

Written by lainie at 11:48 PM on September 12, 2007 in Daily Life.

Over the weekend, I went for Bunga Manggar Bunga Raya with Lola. We were a lil bit late due to a misleading clock, and I arrived wondering why there was no one outside when we were soooo punctual. About the play: A friend who watched it on Friday told me it was "okay laaaa". Well I'watched it two days later, and heck what my friend says (though much love, much love anyway), I thought the play was frenetic, hilarious and kooky. I had a good, good time.

Lola: La Bodega?
Lainie: Sure. You want a beer right? I just want a coffee.
Lola: ............

Lola gave me this stare like my third eye had just grown tendrils that speak Spanish.

Lainie: But yknow, a beer it is then.
Lola: That's right, Lainie.

I learn, eventually. We ended up with some sangria instead.

Then Meesh visited, and had car problems, and her boss actually came over to fix it. Her boss can disable car alarms, which is kinda cool .

======

The next day I had dinner with KA and demonstrated my pitiful skills with directions. About the only area I'm somewhat okay with is KL, anywhere else is nada to me.

Ended up in Ming Tien foodcourt, where I look at ALLLLL the variety of food there, get tempted, and then run straight back to my usual meehoon soup stall. That's consumer loyalty, mate. Or maybe I'm boring like socks on Christmas day.

We visited Didi's mom after that, to hand over some stuff - Didi's in Europe now, studying graphic design, and wanted to send her family some gifts. Then KA came back home with me to see the new place I stay at. It's so old school here it's cool.

Chatted a bit, before Nessa headed over. Nerd gave me really last minute notice that she wanted to bum over, but she was more than welcome to since I have plenty of space for guests over here. I saw her car up on the hill, in another road, lost as heck, but she made it eventually.

Nessa says of all the places I've stayed in (she's seen them all since Cyber Heights in Cyberjaya), this is her favourite by far. She likes it more than the post-colonial house I used to stay in (which was pretty awesome too). Cooked Nessa some food (a lot of food, actually), the three of us bummed around for a while before KA had to get her ass home.

Nessa stayed over two nights. I thought it was ironic cause she was at some Red Comm shoot for a Dove commercial, and after that she slept at Bernard's house and he works for Red too.

One of those days, to wake me up, she jumped on the bed....and in the process, bodyslammed my boob. She said she's sorry.

We went shopping the next day for Aunt Lea. She's in some Mix FM competition where she has to carry around life-sized cardboard cutouts of some of the deejays, and she plans to inline skate while carrying them, all the way from Ipoh to KL.

We talked to the people in Skateline, one of them estimated 8-10 hours of skating, if Aunt Lea doesn't stop. Woah. That shit is crazy man. Might be a Guinness record too. Aunt Lea is quite cool that way. We also got her trekking poles, and spare wheels cause we expect the long distance to wear out her wheels.

Was complaining to her that short of hanging out with Chi over the weekend, I was seriously lacking man presence in my life, recently. It's almost like I have no male friends left, wtf. Then Amir called and asked me to go for dinner, so hey

So tonight was dinner with Amir, Zedeck, and his soon-to-be housemate, Julian. Nasi lemak in Bangsar. I walked there, which wasn't very smart because I forgot certain parts of the journey so it took way longer than I expected. Amir's sister joined us after the other two left, was interesting to meet her.

I...have shitloads of work.

=====

Stupid crap like this make me want a Mac.

Written by lainie at 10:53 PM on September 13, 2007 in Home.

Bernice warning me that Bernard's housemate, Lorna Tee, is back in town and might show up here

Bernice: Not sure if she's staying, but if someone comes thru the door it'll be her, so don't freak out.
Lainie: Okay. Thanks for the warning. Has *she* been warned I'm here?

=====

Jemufo came over to visit me, after doing some work nearby. She got to eat my special "one dish includes all!" cooking (actually, she's tried this many times). Egg and tofu and garlic and chicken and lotsa mushrooms. If I was hardowrking, I'd have like 3 dishes there, but instead I always end up with some Chinese-y stew thing.

I placed my "very gay" glass of sparkling grape juice next to what I call her very lesbian drink, some "V-Soy" bottle. Something about V, Soya, and Bottle that just screams LESBIANNNNNNNNN to me. Don't ask me to justify this, I rarely make judgements based on sense.

We never seem to move far beyond inane conversations, which I'm starting to think is my specialty, so I can forget about impressing girls with my verbal prowess (except when I say stuff like verbal prowess, acrobatic linguistics, takeyourpantsoff spiffy speech, witty words, opulent oratory and all other two-word combos that don't sound like cunninglingus, cause how old is that?).

You know what I'd do if I had superpowers? Specifically, if I could shoot jizz out of my wrists like Spiderman? I'd do a lot of stupid stuff dor the sake of making myself giggle. Like sneak attacks on people's faces. And glueing coins to the floor, so I can videotape them from a corner. Or making massive obstacle courses. But mostly I'd be smacking unsuspecting strangers (and the few remaining friends friends) with facejizz. I'm guessing this surprises a grand total of nobody. Pfah.

You should hear my other ideal superpower to have when I'm in McDonalds, it's awesome. I should be on that reality tv show Amir was telling me about, selling my superpowers.

Jemufo and I talked about dating people. It's pathetic, she knows all the people I do, and vice versa. Where did all the lesbians go? Singapore, that's where.

Right, work.

Written by lainie at 01:12 AM on September 14, 2007 in Arty stuff.

It's not like I don't have work, BUT...........


Vector illustration of my online pet, robot version.

Zomg, Facebook (Fluff)friends application.
I officially saham jatuh to zero, huh?

Right. WORK!

Written by lainie at 01:46 PM on September 15, 2007 in Events.

Freedom Film Fest is happening in Annexe right now.

I'm the graphic designer for the event, from drawing up concepts, to promotional phase, to this weekend. Still have some products (DVD covers) left to design for. It feels weird saying that I'm the graphic designer.

Was there last night, which was kinda cool - to see the flyers / brochures / buntings / posters / banners I designed scattered everywhere. Volunteers wearing the FFF2007 tshirts, filling the hall, people buying them (tshirts, not volunteers).

I'd actually been kinda worried (damn worried, really) about how the tshirts would turn out, because Effa had some problems with the file, but they look good . Go buy one.

And no, I don't get money if you buy tshirts.

We are fully booked for the night! Unfortunately, any more public requests for invitations to this particular screening session will not be entertained. (Friday night)
Overwhelming response on the first night!

Response for the event was crazy, they were turning away people at the door -- Farid and I almost couldn't get enter because they'd reached capacity limits, but managed to slip in after some people exited the hall. I think FFF2007 is much more popular compared to FFF last year (which I covered as a writer for Kakiseni, and met Jemufo who would then become my housemate).

So many people I knew, like half the damn world was there. Fahmi Reza's documentary is cool. Sat on tikar right in front of the screen.

Looking at all the designs around the venue reminded me of college, because I was drafting up concepts, designing and all that while trying to juggle crazy final semester deadlines and work......Probably caused some of my classmates to think me insane.

I want to go for FFF tonight, but it looks like I'll have to slip in again:

The response from the public has been OVERWHELMING once again. The film screening for Saturday night, September 15 at 9.00pm is fully booked and further requests for invites will not be entertained.

It's kinda cool, yeah. I'm already doing other work, but this is still the first (for public display) in the sense that it started while I was still in college.

I was about to say "how time flies", but I just realised I wasn't done with college that long ago (am still technically a student till my internship is done, then I'll graduate).

As for now...I'm clearing off freelance work, and currently looking for my graphic design internship, in advertising. Anyone has suggestions?

Good luck to me! UHN!

Written by lainie at 01:52 PM on September 16, 2007 in work?, Events.

Saturday- a relatively laidback day, reset my system, rest my mind. If I was put in a comic panel, there would have been hammock, palm trees, little cocktail with paper umbrella. I always make grand plans like that.

I offered to get Ding a late lunch, so she wouldn't have to leave her workspace - she was wrapping up a video she did for Freedom Film Fest's nighttime award ceremony. Brought some food, got to her place, set up my own workspace next to hers, and lalala.

Eventually: Ding's phone rings. Right after she's done, my phone rings. Not really synchronicity - it usually means Effa is chasing deadlines from us - though mine was a surprise .

Effa: Are you at home?
Lainie: No, I'm not (actually I'm kinda sitting next to the person doing your work).
Effa: Oh no....

But I had my laptop with me all was cool.

Turns out the certificates designs I submitted the day before (jpegs, not printing files), were needed immediately, for printing. Had submitted three versions for the Komas directors to pick (I was spared whatever annihilation the designs might have gotten, because Effa can be very, very kind in filtering information), and wasn't informed earlier which one they wanted, or when.

Cue me panicking clear across town, trying to send attachements through uncooperative emails.

Heaved a big sigh of relief when I eventually got the files over. By then, Ding was panicking because her video was giving her trouble - It was done, but the file takes a long time to save. Just as it's completed saving, a message would pop up to say it was corrupt, without any explanation of what was wrong.

And that was how I ended up in front of her computer, both of us trying to fix a problem we couldn't identify.

Ding: Lains, pray to whatever gods you believe in, that it works this time.
Lainie: Okay.



I'm atheist, and only equipped with cultural approximations of religion. I think an email might have stood a better chance. Or maybe Neil Gaiman doesn't respond to prayers made in Comic Sans fonts.

I think we were there at least an hour trying to get the video out, before Ding saved it in a massive avi file without compression. Came up to 11G.

We couldn't find DVDs because of Ramadhan, a lot of shops were closed, so we stuck it in my external hard disk. Rushed over to Annexe, hullabaloo of wires, cables, and three laptops trying to play this massive file. Azmyl Yunor was performing, singing extra songs to buy us time. Bleh.

The trouble was crazy trying to get the video to transfer to any laptop. We didn't make it in time.....

They ended up screening another video instead (Ding's will be played in Johor / Penang). I was stressed because my hard disk wasn't working on the laptops that could handle the video, and mine couldn't take an 11G vid.

I could see some of the Komas people were displeased with the trouble, so I tried not to talk to anyone (I'm not great at socialising, much less placating).

Stress from trying to get the video to work must have showed on my face (it was after all, my friend's work, an event I'm involved in, people I know, and my hard disk). People came up to me, patted my back, and told me not to worry that I couldn't play my video. Heh. Dudes, thanks, but I don't actually know shites about video editing

I was quite tired by then, I don't know how strained Ding must have felt. We unwinded with some friends at Palate Palette after that, before heading back to Ding's place to get the video done again.

Phew.

Sunday: "a relatively laidback day, reset my system, rest my mind. If I was put in a comic panel, there would have been hammock, palm trees, little cocktail with paper umbrella", take #2.

Written by lainie at 11:58 AM on September 17, 2007 in Friends, Events.

Meesh came over yesterday with yummy lunch, All food donations welcome, by the way . Then she drove us both through a pretty bad traffic jam, to get to Annexe.

We were there for the booklaunch of Malaysian Politicians Say The Darndest Things (written by Amir Muhammad, illustrated by Shahril Nizam).

I ended up buying Shahril Nizam's other book, "If Only" - a collection of his poetry and illustrations, also launched at the event. My friends got one too, after ooooohing a fair bit. Bernice saw a copy in my hands and immediately made her way to the table to get her own, while saying something about getting Shahril to design her next book.


The version I bought (there are two - A, and B)

Shahril's book is absolutely darling so far. He can illustrate and write, dammit. This book took him five years, yikes. I made him autograph the book....I don't think I've made anyone sign anything for me before.

Highly recommended. If you see a copy of Shahril's book, get it. I'm not sure how much it retails for on other days, since I got it at the booklaunch for RM20.

=====

Fun at the booklaunch: They took pictures of people posing next to Photoshopped pictures of politicians, and posted it up on the web.
A picture of me in there, and in the crowd, with messy hair and a Nik Aziz nametag. Also has photos of my friends, and people you may recognise.

After the booklaunch, I sat next to Tim who was wearing the tshirt I designed, while I wore last year's FFF tshirt. Meesh went to buy an FFF tshirt, looked at me, then picked the one from this year. Heh.

Nessa told me she's staying over and never showed up, Scrabble mate was too lazy to visit, and finally, Jemufo arrived at my doorstep with nasi lemak (all food donations welcome! ).

To show my gratitude, as Jemufo lies asleep, I am stealing her Tim Tams from the fridge.

=====

Cameroid. I used to pitch a very similar idea for mobile phones / webcams, but never got around to doing it. Kinda cool, no?
link ganked from Tim.

Written by lainie at 04:07 PM on September 19, 2007 in Daily Life.

I met Emily in a private party, in some posh casino, in London - Emily's back in Malaysia for a while, looking for good acoustic gigs to go for (and freelance writing jobs, if anyone's hirng).
She travels, writes, takes lots of photographs, and listens to a lot of music I do.

Her interests remind me of Popagandhi. I know a lot of my friends (and readers) have the same interests, but I suppose the extensive travel and writing kinda did it.

Check out her websites!
Suitcase Generation (I dig the domain)
and
Freeway Radio.

Emily, be warned that sleaze is bound to come your way, and lurk about .

=====

I think..I think I'm done with Freedom Film Fest! KL's festival is done. They'll be moving to Penang and Johor, I've already done the brochures / posters for that side....

Unless they want changes to the DVD cover I designed, heck, all is good! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Now I haveotherdeadlinestochase.

=====

Some people (two producers?) from Red Comm came over the other day, to site reccy the house I'm staying in (basically, they were checking it out for potential as a location to shoot in). Red Comm is responsible for Gol & Gincu, Kami, 3R, Goodbye Boys, etc etc.

Being me, I just shrugged, accepted, and didn't ask what they were gonna be filming. Now my friends are like "Ooooh, what tv show / movie is going to be made there?", and I have my "Lainie is stupid, d'oh, does this matter?" blank face staring back at them.

I met one of the producers in this very house, during Bernice and Bernard's joint birthday party. Turns out we both come from the same area in Ipoh, and I used to eat in her family's restaurant down the road from my house.

We probably cycled past each other quite a few times too, since my good friend lived in the row of houses behind, and we'd head there for a drink after playing badminton in the park.

Ipoh was still quaint when I left it.

=====

I just realised that of the 11 people on one of my chatting applications, 8 of them are / were writers..........And all the ones online are on "Busy". Nyeheh.

=====

Nessa and Yixing both visited me the past few days. It's good to have company here, it's the first time I'm truly staying alone. I've been away from home for a long while, but always with housemates / roomies.

Living alone is interesting. I told Bernice I finally changed my first lightbulb (she said that's pathetic). Makes me more aware of things. Like if someone is stalking me home, I can't call up some housemates to come meet me in a well lit shop.

Like if I fall sick, I'll have to learn to take care of myself. And......if I die in some stupid looking pose, that's it la. Then the most you can hope for is your friends will smack the requisite asshole who says "Well, serves her right for dying in her worst underwear, who ask her to be so gay?".

The most likely unlikely ways for me to die in this house is

1) Spontaneous combustion
2) Slip coming out of shower
3) Poisoning (cooking my own meals now).

=====



Sigh.

Written by lainie at 02:45 PM on September 20, 2007 in Daily Life, Arty stuff.

When I met my mother, who is down in KL, she was sporting a new haircut, but I was distracted from it..

Kim: Hi maa----- oh, my gawd, you bought the same jacket as mine?
Mom: Yup!
Kim: Hah?? YAUMOGAUCHOARRR???

My mother has to stop doing this man.

I gave my mother two FreedomFilmFest2007 tshirts - one for her, one for my dad -- because it's kinda cool, makes up for the stickman drawings I never hung on the fridge (didn't want to distract from my Spiderman magnets - that, and I never really drew stickmen).

=====

Was in KLPac last night, to watch Comedy Court's 10 Year Anniversorry.

I'm always cautious of performances staged in Pentas 1, as was this show, simply because the space there is big, so it takes a certain sort of performance to maintain the energy levels and more importantly, my attention span. Sorry la, I think this show is heaps better off in a smaller venue.

Watched a lot of videos of their old performances. (and was surprised to see Val in one of them, 5 years younger), which while occasionally charming, mostly just ended up trying my patience. I came to watch a show, if I want to watch the videoclips, give me the urls in a brochure or something and I'll go watch it on the damn internet.

They're damn bloody good at accents aren't they? Not always my humour, car jokes, politicians and football - though I understood the context more when the two men dressed up as Indian and Serani women, or as ratracers, and laughed a lot. Ended up observing how they stereotyped different cultures so skillfully, more than laughing my arse off.

The show finished at almost midnight, ending way later than I expected. The time was a bit of a drag for me. That being said, I can see why they lasted ten years. I just want to take a pair of scissors and edit the pace of the show for them.

=====

Every night, I use the dining table right in front of the entrance, in a house that only has dim yellow lighting. The plants on the porch show through the frosted doors, taking on the shadows of lurking people.

So last night, I was mildly creeped out. I'm in an old house alone, I have at least two decades of allowing my imagination put threatening, smiling , ghostly figures in corners, behind me, sitting next to me. It's so, so quiet.

So I turned, looked behind me. All dark, save one dim light. I've gotten so used to the ceiling fan I don't hear it anymore. The corridors are all shadowy, and I was peering into it, wondering if anything would peer back. And I sat for like an hour, phasing out, imagining that this shadow was a spirit, that shadow was a figure, etc etc etc.

Yknow, the strangest thing is, it only scares me when I don't imagine stuff like this. When I sit down and consciously try to do something that ought to freak me out, nada. I suppose it's like meditating on death, it's hard to be simultaneously contemplative and scared.

That, and it takes a real fathead to imagine that if there were spirits, they'd spend all their time in some house's corridor to scare a girl. Shit, if I wasn't bound by the usual physical laws, fuck it, I'm having a holiday.

Fell asleep reading Shahril Nizam's book, If Only.

=====

It's fasting month now, and I just realised I've not taken the opportunity to wish you guys a Happy Ramadhan.

A lot of food around now. I know it's not about gluttony, but you must realise, everytime I step out of the house around evening time, I'm surrounded by hungry people, and I become one of them, navigating through heaps of street stalls hawking food.

Infectious mood, that.

I took a break from work, opened up Facebook Graffiti (Oekaki), thinking I wanted to draw three bubbles. Then I thought I should put a face first.


Next thing I knew, I was in Oekaki Trance - which I love, but when I snapped out of it and looked at the clock, I wanted to bang my head against the table.

Written by lainie at 06:29 PM on September 24, 2007 in Daily Life, Friends, Arty stuff.

I meet a girl recently, and asked a friend about her.

Lainie: So I can tell she's psycho, but how psycho is she....exactly?
Friend: Psycho! Psycho! Psycho!

Which should already suffice as a warning, but this is the KL Lesbian “all the fish, in two drops of water” pool we’re talking about here.

Lainie: So when you say psycho, how psycho are we talking here?

Apparently, I'm developing a reputation for being drawn to surface / truly psycho girls. It's not really the case, but it's the carcrash girls my friends tend to notice, and frankly, everyone gets a lil bit psycho.

Tei is the only one so far to accurately point her finger at the two traits all the girls who have attracted my attention have in common. Nyehhh...Too observant, that one.

=====

Spoke with Zedeck, thinking of starting this project that we abandoned before it ever began. His story, my illustrations. I began doodling some thumbnails the other day, so I asked him if he wanted to rekindle the thing, and he said okay.

=====

Went for Nyonya dinner with Jemufo, in the same restaurant Nessa and I were at when we took these photos:


cauliflower head.


the brochure I designed for FreedomFilmFest2007.

=====

After that, headed to Sharon Chin's exhibition in the Annexe. She has a pretty cool concept for the Sensors: Banned Books & Other Monsters exhibition (supported by the Krishen Jit fund).

Walked into a blackbox room filled with ghostly sounds. Couldn’t really see who else was around, though I recognised Jemufo’s silhouette. Individual "books" were mounted on the wall - I opened one, and shone a torch light in to examine the monsters inside, popping out of the list of "banned books", it’s cut-out shadow to the left.

Hazri and I were looking at one, sharing a torchlight, when we realised one of the banned books (Cinta 100 ela or something) was written by a woman who majorly criticised Yasmin Ahmad's films.

Lainie: No wonder she's so bitter....

Sharon Chin's dad did the catering and the food was pretty good. Lots of cute lil foodstuff, and beer, beer, beer going around. It being a Friday night, I asked Zedeck if he would be going to Loft, he said yes since Jerome is performing.

The night was still early, Bernice wanted wine, but the exhibition opening only had beer, so we went downstairs to Liquid for some drinks (happy hour!)

Lainie: Bernice you do know, two months down the road, some ninny will ask if you're gay because you were in Liquid tonight.

Turns out there was no wine and minimal worries in Liquid, we were the only patrons there. The bar in Liquid had more staff than customers around -_-". We ended up with Gin and Tonics, talking about the sad Nurin case, Bernice's college days, and the new iPod. I told Bernice I saw some episodes of Gol & Gincu / Kami on Youtube, and that I just noticed her friend Hayati acting in one of them.

Tried convincing Bernice to come to Loft with us later, but she gave some nonsense about being too old to hang out with the Loft kids - which is quite something when I walk into Loft and I see all her friends hanging around inside. I'd been extremely reluctant to go myself, but a friend had been convincing enough, and I wanted to see Jerome perform.

While Jemufo and I were waiting to go to Loft:

Lainie: No I'm not wearing underwear todaaaaay!
Jemufo: Huh?
Lainie: I'm not making a declaration. I'm singing a song.
Jemufo: Right. I thought -
Lainie: - It's a song.

Ramadhan month means Loft is a lot quieter than it usually is, I suppose because the Muslims are tired, and they have to wake up early to sahur.

Met Nr in Loft. I've kinda met her before, but when she was smashed off her face. Introduced myself and she was like..

Nr: I know you! You've pet my pet!
Lainie: .................... Errr.

As she continued about petting pets I realised she meant Facebook online pets. -_-"

Loft had an acoustic night on, Jerome was the first to perform. After a few performers, it was like the usual clubbing music again. Disco Indie. Met Kinkybluefairy and Kinkypugkevin there. On the way to the washroom, danced with Kev a bit.

Kevin: You know you want me.
Lainie: So much, sexy, so, so much.

Hanging out with friends, Joyce clipped her white flower on Zedeck and he looked gorgeous (actually reminded me of when Sharanya did the same). Friend of a friend of a friend at my table turned out to be some gropey guy desperately trying to hit it off with girls by....groping them.

Gropey Guy: What's your name?
Lainie: ........ Kim.

Then my friends started laughing, so I guess it didn't look too honest of me.

Was a quiet night in Loft for me, was exhausted that day. Came home and did some work. Internet eventually died on me, and has not started up again since. Dammit.

====

Bernice popped over to my place in the afternoon to sort some stuff out, while I was in the kitchen washing my coffee cup.

Bernice: Lainie, you're wearing a skirt!
Lainie: *grunt*

Then we went out for lunch in a Chinese restaurant, where we both ordered our food in Cantonese. I think it's slightly jarring to hear each other speak anything other than English, I'd sooner expect Bernice to spout French.

Lainie: Yknow, I had classmates who didn’t know I speak Cantonese till I was in Form 5.
Bernice: Yeah, I was surprised when I heard you speak it too.

No one really speaks to me in Cantonese except Kat.

=====

Getting Zal to agree to go out for supper with me:

Lainie: My internet has died. I'm bored. You have to save meeee!
Zal: Why you call me? Call Zedeck la.
Lainie: Dowan Iwanyouuuu.
Zal: Haha, okay la okay la.

It's like bargaining at the market.

======

Last night I made pasta, listened to the 10 Things I Hate About You soundtrack, watched a foreign artsy language film I loved but could not sit through alone. Fell asleep before midnight but still answered phone calls till dawn, including one from Tei, who had found a new gay club where the sign is “spelled out in rainbow colours”

Lainie: Is it filled with short Chinese girls, and they all have short pointy hair?.

I woke up this morning marvelling that I asked such a question in my sleep-talking state, AND that I remembered it this morning. Mostly cause Tei sent me a text I woke up laughing to.

This morning I have bacon and eggs for breakfast, cola and Tim Tam for dessert, and it’s Jimi Hendrix, all the way. Is it just my media exposure, or can you hear drugged out testosterone vibes coming from his music?

I like it when Sunday afternoons wrap up my week, that way it doesn’t feel like one loooong year. Just many little weekly episodes.

=====

Was supposed to go house hunting with Spes and Ding, but that didn't work out. We didn't try very hard, we got distracted by Cineleisure. Ended up watching The Brave One, having a fried pancake-pasta dinner thing, then bumming around with Ding for a while. Two of my new housemates, if we... ever.... get... around... to... finding.... a...house...

=====

Shu came down from Ipoh to visit me - I haven't seen her since Oxford. She'd called me some time back, attempting to make plans with me - I told her I didn't know what my schedule would be like.

Shu: I should have known better than to call you so early.
Lainie: Yah, I don't know why you did either.

She's an exhousemate, so she does know better . She's looking for one of Ellen Degeneres' books, and wants a motorcycle license.

Lainie: Like. Are you gay? You can tell me if you're gay.
Shu: No, I'm not gay.

Then I made her listen to original cast recordings for Spamalot and Avenue Q, which is very very gay. Shu's been watching me drink a lot of coffee to no visible effect.

I've discovered a new favourite breakfast: Beer and cookies.

Written by lainie at 03:59 PM on September 25, 2007 in Friends, Stupid, but fun..

Shu Ting wanted to burn some music from my computer onto some CDs.

Lainie: Sure, let me check how much space it'll take up.

[ Pause ]

Lainie: Er.
Shu: 45 gigs?
Lainie: Well...Yeah.
Shu: Think I'll bring my external hard disk next time.

I've known Shu for 5 years now.

Lainie: I know your surname isn't Gan, but what is it again?
Shu: Of course it's not Gan. It would be cruel.

It's been stubbornly stuck in my head for years that she's Gan Shu Ting. Bang bang.

=====

Recently, Suanie belled me online and greeted me with

Suanie: why are you a lesbian?
Lainie: eh? suanie is that you?
Suanie: hahahahah. yes

Basically, Suanie wrote a piece recently on Monsterblog, about parenting: About the influence a parent has on their child. Specifically, whether or not your upbringing could significantly contribute to you turning out gay:

From the post:

Just the other day, my sister told me that we should begin teaching my 2-year old nephew the difference between ‘boy thing’ and ‘girl thing’. A friend of hers, a homosexual had opened up and told my sister of his childhood — that part of the reason he is effeminate and a homosexual was because he grew up under the care of his single mother, and had used to play with his mother’s dresses and cosmetics and such, without his mother’s restrictions.

For what it's worth, my mother's very stereotypically female, and my dad's very stereotypically male (and sexist, but I guess that's part of the stereotype).

Even the pets I had, the male dogs mounted female dogs, and the female ones got mounted by male dogs. My hamsters were straight and had many babies (too many).

By all means, I should be straight as heck. But I'm not sure my childhood experiences could be transposed upon someone else with a similar history, to explain how we both have the same / different sexuality inclinations.

Contribute your thoughts at Tuesday open thread", I think Suanie is genuinely quite curious about this.

I have some work to get out of the way, but I've already informed Jemufo of it, seems more her thing to contribute to .

=====

On a side note: I think sexuality is too nuanced and diverse for generalisations. And now, -- here I go ignoring what I think, to exploit my friends, perpetuate stereotypes, and feed tendencies for lumping other peoples into categories.

Let's make an example from 2 categories: Gay & Straight:

I know people who are straight, and dress straight.
I know people who are not straight, and dress queer.

I know people who are straight, and dress queer.
I know people who are not straight, who look heterosexual.

I know people who are straight, who will hook up with people of any gender or sex.
I know people who are not straight, who will hook up with people of any gender, or sex.

I know straight people who will only shag straight people.
I know straight people who will only shag straight people of the opposite sex.
I know straight people who will only shag anyone of the opposite sex.

I know gay people who prefer to shag straight people.
I know gay people who will prefer to shag gay people of the same sex.
I know gay people who will prefer to shag anyone of the same sex.

I know gay people who prefer to shag gay people.
I know gay people who prefer to shag gay people of the same sex.

I know straight people who will shag people of the same sex.
I know straight people who do things with other people of the same sex and talk about it the next day saying "It's not gay if you don't....."

This list could get longer, and more ridiculous. So easily. But I don't have the time to copy and paste just so some of you might get the point. It's not my place to do it, anyway.

Thing is, the words gay, straight and bi, don't really work. All our guesses on why something is, we articulate through a language that is severely limited compared to reality.

If you like, you can call some of them bisexual. I'm not sure all of them would agree. In the end, what's the differance, and how the fuck is it anyone's business? But I suppose curiosity is fair enough.

And if you like, you can try putting me in one of those categories above. Some days, I'm in one of them. Sometimes, I don't identify with any. Most of the time, I don't identify with the narrowest definition of any category.

I'm getting a tattoo on my forehead one day and it's gonna say "Pomo baby".

Meanwhile, I have a brochure to put together. Laters~

Written by lainie at 08:06 AM on September 28, 2007 in Daily Life.

This is a brief update to tell you that:

I drink too much coffee, which is not an update.

I have a temporary job as a favour to a friend, and I am slightly worried what this will do to our friendship. But, work is work and I started yesterday. I went to meet someone over a Flash banner job and ended up with a...job..

I still need my internship.

I met Rocky, Seri Menanti and Shanghai Stephen over at the Press Club, recently.

I missed a few events because I really wanted to watch Ratatouille.

I reintroduced myself to some people I've been introduced to heaps of times last night, and watched two girls rehearse at catfights. It was kinda funny.

You're supposed to wear a red shirt in support of the Burmese, if you do [read more here]

Written by lainie at 06:06 PM on September 28, 2007 in Friends, Links / Email.

Here's something that has the potential to be the next shiniest, cattiest, backstabbiest metablog on the innernets.

kaki.blog
Being a collection of narcissistic monologues, intra-office-political backstabbings, and fairly useless miscellany bandied about between the staff of Kakiseni.

They're all bloody crackers in the office, it shouldn't take long for the blog to catch up.

I visited the Kakiseni office today. Zedeck wasn't around, but the girls were. As I left, saying "Bye guys...", I walked away feeling utterly weirded out - the office reeks of estrogen.

I should have trilled out a "Bye girls" and flipped my hair on the way out. But that's so not my style. I'm too cool to flip my hair. Juliet, on the other hand.....

Written by lainie at 01:52 AM on September 30, 2007 in work?, Arty stuff.

I'm tired.

Kat: I need a favour.
Lainie: Shoot, what?
Kat: I need an ASM.
Lainie: A small....mouse?

Not that I don't usually know what an ASM is, I just never dreamed she'd ask me to do it so I didn't make the connection.

I've started work, as assistant stage manager for Rose Rose, I Love You.


I like how the graphics work. The director is Yuen (who used to host 3R). It's been interesting so far, working for her. Especially since this is the first day I'm doing any stage managing, and my stage manager left me alone to wing it.

Lainie: It's...been interesting.
Zedeck: Is that an euphemism?
Lainie: Well. Not yet. We shall see.

One of the actors couldn't make it, so I had to read the lines and fill in for her. I looked like a piece of wood. And apparently, I have an amazing ability to speak in monotone.

Is it weird to say I didn't realise this? Kat confirmed this observation stands, that it's very very difficult to tell my opinion sometimes because I talk about someone I like a lot (insert name here), the same way I would someone I dislike (insert name here). Usually in an expressionless manner, unless it's a close friend, then I'll have more expression and they'd have learned to tell from the....pauses.....in my sentences, whether it's a good or bad thing.

Lainie: Omigod...so much work just to be my friend.

At least now I know.

=====

The people onboard seem really really nice so far. I already know a few of the performers, so that helps. I gave Zal a bit of a surprise, I think, when I just showed up (Zal is one of the actors).

=====

One of the requirements for assistant stage manager: To be constantly alert.

I am so blur, okay.

During auditions, I was looking at this girl, who looked, talked and had the same name as Joni. I was utterly convinced it wasn't Joni (her cv listed a college other than the one I mistakenly believed Joni graduated from), so I sent frantic text messages to Pet and Chen, asking if it could be her after all, because it was getting freaky looking at her doppelganger.

Of course, it turns out to be Joni. Not only that, Joni tells me she said hi to me earlier, I must have been so busy trying to figure out if she was Joni, I didn't hear her.

So that's their constantly alert stage manager la, first day of work. Good luck to us all.

The blog for Rose, Rose, I Love You

=====

Was in Loft last night, for its 3rd anniversary bash. A lot of friends, a lot of familiar Loft faces. A post birthday party for some of them. Meesh, Su-Yin, the kinkybluefairy, and I just realised I'd be here all night if I named all the bloggers, so.

Gnite.