Written by lainie at 05:17 PM on March 2, 2008 in Daily Life.

Friday night I gave Loft a miss and hung out with Kat and Tei.

Saturday, 4am, after watching The Producers, Tei and I stand next to the house alarm panel, mechanically punching in the code - a storm had ensured that the house alarm went off every few seconds.

Sleepless, grumpy and my ears literally ringing by 9am, we headed to a futsal competition (Tei was playing). Everytime an announcement was made, my head throbbed and I cringed.

We only returned much later, when we were sure the technicians had fixed the situation. We don't expect the neighbours to love us much.

I have an article to write about the elections, and several updates due on the Cammies blog, pending some technical issues that we need the webadmin to resolve.

By the way, the Peace Symbol celebrated its 50th birthday recently. And no, it's not derived from a broken cross . This website, Naked for Peace, has a collection of photographs where the theme is....large groups of naked people making up the peace symbol.

I generally like photos with lots of nudity (ala Spencer Tunick).

Written by lainie at 05:26 PM on March 4, 2008.

Written by lainie at 05:17 PM on March 6, 2008 in work?, Friends.

Had some work near Tei's house the other day, so I stayed over at her place. I was on the way to wake her up when

Lainie: Oooh, a pianoooo!

I don't play, I just like noise. The piano keys sunk in with weird, muted noises and didn't work. Ah well. Woke Tei up. Then I passed another piano I'd never noticed before.

Lainie: Ooooh, another pianooo!

That one didn't work either. I guess Tei was meant to have a peaceful wake-up call. Tei gave me this look when I told her like she didn't know how I never noticed two pianos in the living room (it's possible she really doesn't know how I do it).

I'm so busy lately it's crazy, writing, designing.

Kakiseni has an "elections" issue this time around, and mine is about the WCI2 Mak Bedah street demos whatnots I've taken part in lately (I did mention that here, didn't I?)

My article's up on Kakiseni: Mak Bedah's the Name, Gender's the Game by Lainie Yeoh

This is the first time I'm working with Kathy Rowland as editor (she's back as editor of Kakiseni, Veronica is in Australia now). She said I'm idealistic and young, though I rarely feel both at the same time .

Also up are some entries on the 6th Annual BOH Cameronians Arts Awards website (been having some template issues, almost entirely resolved by now). There are some things I'm really looking forward to writing about, people to interview.

Written by lainie at 08:55 PM on March 7, 2008 in work?, Family, Daily Life, Friends, Home.

Blog plug: A Malaysian-born Filipina's documented journey in obtaining PR status in Malaysia. (I'm living in limbo here! Neither here nor there!)


Go read Limbo Lore's "Screwit!" Post

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Taking breaks between work last night was fun.

A girl I just met demonstrated some pole dancing she had learned in Australia. We were at Talent Hub's pole dance class, so the equipment was available.

I was well-impressed. She's strong enough to hoist her body up, swing upside down and do a split, slide, and make circles, and whatnot - I must admit I wasn't expecting her to have so much strength. The director wanted to know if she'd like to teach classes there as well, along with the other pole-dance instructors.

Then Tei and I played a lil bit of ping pong, a game that offers much avenue for amusement - you have to play to understand how silly it is, batting this little plastic ball to and fro.

Quite therapeutic, though not a game you can sustain if you're in a frustrated mood and you want things to BURN! EXPLODE! DIE! and you have this pissy little plastic ball that makes a nice knocking sound against the table.

Tei and I play amicably together - Smile, however, doesn't play fair at all (she's very competitive). Everytime it was my turn to hit the ball she'd say "Boobs, boobs, boobs". I eventually ended up crouched next to the table, face flaming red, having missed all my shots and laughing my ass off, refusing to play any more ping pong.

Tei took my place, telling me not to be such a silly nervous lesbian. Two rounds later, she was crouched next to the ping pong table, armour cracked, laughing very hard and refusing to play anymore. Smile had her victories.

The laughter was invigorating. Plugged in my laptop and came up with some new (complete!) business card designs I really liked within an hour. I worked so, so, so fast, I managed to make it for Kevin and Sarah's WILD party after all, after 1am.

Met some friends there, including Joyce the Fairy (who seems to beeverywhere). Joyce came for our Kakiseni Cammies nominees party in Alexis as well (with Sarah).


Joni was there too (as keyboardist for The Three Little Bitches). She was my roommate for a while, and survived relatively unharmed, I'd like to think.

I was supposed to be behind the camera that night (and said as much), but she wanted a pic with me. The official photographer also caught a picture of us from this, which brought a snarky remark from Cathy about blogging about myself on The Cammies blog.

====

I've returned to my hometown, Ipoh, for the weekend.

There's a part of me that's so comfortable to be home - being back in Ipoh winds me up, it's true. But like any home that's been lived in a long time, the familiarity and convenience is lulling. Simple things that I can't take for granted where I stay in my rented room, like when I need a rubber band, or a wide selection of bedsheets.

I'm back because for the first time, I'll be voting in this country's elections.

My mom who whipped out The Star and says she wants to know how many constituencies there are in Malaysia. Then she points at the photograph of ballot boxes on the front page and tells me she read that the ballot boxes cost 16 million ringgit.

That's a LOT of ballot boxes (boxes in the photo: 10 per group x 20 rows x 5 columns = 1000 boxes) .

I also never noticed how quiet my neighbours are till I moved to KL.

On the other hand, I sacrifice something here - silence. All it takes where I stay in Damansara is a closed door and loud music, and I create my own personal space for a while. Here, if I so much as turn up my music that I can hear the lyrics, I get shushed.

More things have changed. I don't see my father much anymore, even though I'm now seated at his study desk in his home. I talked to him for the first time since my sister's wedding (before CNY), to ask if he wanted to go for dinner with me soon. The answer was no.

Had home-cooked dinner, which is good. Roast chicken, vegetable-tofu soup. My mother knows I dislike being nagged, so instead of "Stop guzzling all your diabetic dad's cola-light", it's "By the way, there's also water in the fridge".

=====

I have done something slightly overdue - sign up for Google AdSense. I will most likely put them up on this blog, I definitely have another website I want them to appear in (I was only allowed one URL to register with, and this is by all means my main website).

Like many places I've stayed before, I had to call a housemate and ask for my postal code so I could register. That I bother to memorise my address is always a sign of permanence, to me. Postcodes, I never could remember.

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Being home means getting my hands on digital copies of some photos from my sister's wedding.


Louis (cousin), Lainie, Gazel (sister), Aunt and Uncle.
My hand is bandaged from the knifed-by-snatch-thief incident the night before.

=====

A hint to KeAdilan party in future campaigning: This is Ipoh. Don't act like hooligans, and yell all the time, you'll scare the housewives.

My mother told me there are relatives I should preferably not share my opinions with, because my politics will definitely upset them and....make them cry. Yes, she's serious - and yes, I believe her.

Well, I've never actually told my mother who I'm voting for, but she seems to have made her own deductions . I reckon the only thing she knows of my views is that I occasionally take part in street demos, usually cause I think the government did something stupid.

Not pro-government of course looks like not-pro BN (reasonable assumption), and not-pro-UMNO (also reasonable assumption).

Mother: So what does your Malay housemate say when you and your housemates talk against the Malays?
Lainie: ......Who said my housemates say bad things about the Malays???

Sometimes I have to wonder what the hell my mother think my views are that it led to such questions.

Written by lainie at 10:01 PM on March 7, 2008 in Rants.

I don't read The Star, but it gets delivered to my parents' home everyday. Since my mother plonked down today's issue in front of me, I thought I'd give the frontpage a glance, see how they're blatantly Barisan Nasional-propadanda, and not really a newspaper.

This is the first thing I see (after the photo of ballot boxes):

Vote for a voice in the Govt, says Abdullah

Penang: Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi reminded the Chinese community that if they gave the DAP their votes, they will end up not having any representation in the government.

(The Star, frontpage, 7 March 2008).

 

This is what pisses me off about some parties campaigning based on race.

This letter appeared in my head upon reading that first paragraph (I did not continue reading the article):

Dear Pak Lah,

What the hell are you talking about? Do you not represent me too, just because I'm Chinese and you're not?

Cis,

Lainie.

Written by lainie at 07:31 PM on March 8, 2008.

If anyone notices this blog looking like super-piss, don't worry.

I'm redoing the site.

Written by lainie at 10:13 PM on March 8, 2008.

lainie yeoh: i've never felt good about the elections before
lainie yeoh: i felt a tingle when i put my votes in
lainie yeoh: and i freaked out inside my head making sure i did everything right
Michelle Gunaselan: ME TOO
Michelle Gunaselan: MY PENCIL WAS SO BLUNT
Michelle Gunaselan: I CHECKED THREE TIME
Michelle Gunaselan: S

Results coming out. So exciting. Online activity going crazy on me.

WHOOOOOO! 

Written by lainie at 10:52 PM on March 9, 2008 in work?, Family.

3 Sets of Photographs (I'm Typing Uppercase in Auto-Mode; I'm Really, Really Good at It) are up on from the Nominees Night party in Alexis for the BOH Cameronian Arts Awards.

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What can I say about our country's 12th General Elections? For the first time, it feels like we could be living in a democratic country. Imagine, 24 years of my life without any idea of what that's like. I don't know how my parents did it.

Now, I watch. It's so near, but I don't even dare reach out to the hope.

=====

I don't read the news. But I like headlines updates. Twitter is kinda good for that. Really great fot my attention span, actually. I just click on the links that interest me.

Twitter: International Herald Tribune- Headlines from IHT.com's Front Page

Twitter: Al Jazeera English - Any time, Any where, Any how.


=====

Mom made me "lap mei fan" for dinner, which may sound like a Chinese girl, but is rice with a lot of preserved meats.

Lainie: Do we have any of that...that. Chilli thing?
Mom: You want chilli sauce..?
Lainie: No. The dried chilli something things.
Mom: SAMBAL?

:/

Mom: I'm sure you'll be happier elsewhere.
Lainie: Huh?
Mom: With white people. You don't like it here, do you?
Lainie: I actually like Malaysia.
Mom: Oh. Just thought cause you're so gwai lo.

:O
Really? Am I very gwai lo? The only thing I really identify with is that I speak English (which, granted, means I can only describe a lot of my personal philosophy in one language).

My mother just got a dose of me being very irritated - it really gets to me when I get interrupted while I'm trying to think. Unfortunately, her reaction is to step up and talk louder when I'm unresponsive.

My temper usually cracks at about the same time the last bit of my concentration slips away. I know it sounds like a simple thing, but it's difficult enough for me to get into the "focus" phase, whatmore with her television shows going on, and my frustration just builds up like BAM!

I....usually have a raging headache by the time I leave Ipoh.

=====

I'm back to KL soon. I can barely wait.



I leave you with a video about a guy who embraces his family's pride: racism.

Written by lainie at 01:30 PM on March 10, 2008.

My mother just told me that the MB for Perak might be from PAS, information I have yet to verify hellopleasedontrepeatasfact kthxbai.

My knee-jerk reaction was to be taken aback, having heard this was an undecided issue, but betting on PKR / DAP - mostly because I thought most Perak candidates weren't from PAS. I realise now I assumed that based on the candidates in Ipoh alone.

Frankly, I can't identify with most of the more notorious changes PAS brought about elsewhere. Ipoh is the land of seedy nightclubs, and proliferate good hawker food - most decidedly unhalal. Years ago, my childhood entertainment outside of home largely consisted of sports, going to the arcade and cinema. I can only name one mamak in Ipoh, because it has the good fortune of being located near the most popular mall. As my ex discovered, I also have minimal knowledge of where to get halal food.

On the other hand, I thought it was common nationwide to study an all-girls school till I hit college and received all kinds of condolences for what was seen as an incomplete teenhood. And while I do very very much like the company of women, I mostly hung out with guys (and Nessa, pretty much a teenage boy who owned bras) back home.

Well, it's a coalition this time, not just PAS. I obviously am just one voice from Perak, but I know what will happen in Ipoh for the next elections if there are social changes perceived as regressive - and imposing Hudud in Perak is beyond my imagination.

Upon consideration, I'd prefer to view this in a more positive light, that PAS will continue to act as a member of a coalition. This sudden minimal cynicism is because there is such rare hope around now, and I don't want to lose sight of it yet.

I've not forgotten what happened the last time PAS took Terengganu (although I admit, my memories are sketchy). Of all the member parties of "BA" (looks like they'll need a new acronym soon), I trust PAS the least. So I wish Kedah all the best.

So how? I'm already so wary, and I don't even know who's MB yet. I was typing in the cab, and now that I'm home none of the news sites are accessible to me - servers all overloaded ke?. Can anyone who can access Malaysiakini tell me?

[ Update: Malaysiakini: PKR offers itself for Perak MB post. ]

Written by lainie at 11:45 PM on March 10, 2008 in Stupid, but fun., Arty stuff.

Welcome to my site's new look.

I started this on elections day (then got distracted by election news). I figured it was time for a change. New state government, new blog template!

I call this look "Learner's License" - I saved the template under that name because of my new logo. Thought it rather apt. I like designing stuff based on what's going on around me.

The previous time I updated this blog's look (pic), I said it'd be changed within weeks because I found it cringeworthy. That was in 2005. I won't bother with any more promises.

Good thing I'm not a politician?

I promise I'll fix the links / missing content pages soon.

 

Written by lainie at 08:17 PM on March 11, 2008 in work?.

I thought I would stay out of the yippee-gloating Samy posts that are bound to invade the blogosphere. But Suanie's short post changed my mind. Humour is too tempting.

My sister has offered* for me to stay in Australia with her (a plan that may extend to Europe). I'm thinking about it. I have commitments here (not impossible to break) and I've seen skilled friends tank at job applications there - it's tough, I know. Writing, designing, waitressing. Who knows what I'll end up with.

*Some people communicate through email or phone. We do it through our mother.

Am going to look into job applications soon. It'll be kinda tough doing it from over here (what more no work visa), but hey. There're still some things I want to consider.

I must say Melbourne's art scene is tempting, and the last time I was in London I went on a crazy theatre / gallery binge and loved it.

Any graphic designers / writers out there can tell me about the job situation in Australia / London?

Written by lainie at 02:20 AM on March 13, 2008 in work?, Daily Life.

There'll be minor tweaks in this site's design as I go along, depending on my time & patience budget. Tabulas isn't one of the blog platforms with heaps of readily-made templates (in fact, I'd have no idea where to get one). In order for me to coexist peacefully with my creation, I. Need. More. POWER! AND CONTROL! But don't let that turn you off.

I went to the printers yesterday to get some brochures / new name card designs printed out. Whipped out a can of Spraymount (aerosol glue - great for paper) at home and got about to sticking papers together. Imagine two flappy sheets of flypaper you have to stick with the edges just right. The tricky business of making clean mockups remind me of college.

Today, I was in Brickfields, meeting up with another printer - got brochures and cards done there. It's going to be digital print for the business cards, because client's budget does not accomodate all the things I would ideally love to have, like lamination and offset printing. The colours I chose work in digital print anyway, fun colours. It's just how much richer they'd look (and how much poorer they'd make you) in offset.

Called the college admin to remind them that not only had I stopped receiving mail ever since I moved to Bangsar last year, but I'd not heard about getting my certifications since. I called to give them my current address, so I may receive no snail-mail yet again. Was told I have unreturned library books, and that I'd be emailed a list immediately so I can solve this and get my papers. Well. Still no email. Will follow up soon.

I've been messing about with the guitar lately, which I like. As for Todhi...He's a great drive. Cherokee jeep with no power steering, but I don't feel it except when the car is parked. Tei and Ding have both given me pointers on how to drive (possibly a few years off their life expectancy too).

I don't know how Smile puts up with us. On one hand, we have Tei, who sleeps through a house alarm that goes on for hours. On the other, we have me - three alarm clocks I refuse to use because I can't figure out how to turn them off short of popping the batteries out.

I have much to update, but not the energy to sustain it tonight Am fuckin tired, and I just finished preparing some stuff for tomorrow's work. Which ought to take all. Fricking. Day.

I swear, if I didn't love what I do, I don't know how I will. I'm just realised I take breaks from designing and writing by......designing and writing. Or looking at designs and reading.

Maybe it was my subconscious at work, or if it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it looks like my spur-of-the-moment "artword addict" name was right on the money.

Written by lainie at 05:16 PM on March 13, 2008 in Friends.

(this usericon of me in my spiky hair days is from a picture taken at Boathouse)

We were in Boathouse the night before. because Kat picked us up and brought her poodle, Bosco, along. Boathouse is one of the few pet and gay friendly restaurants abiout town (and I say that with a snicker).

Bosco is a young male poodle, and very enthusiastic about playing with other young, female pooches. Another diner had a female terrier dog, and of course the two lil dogs begin their introductions. Suddenly, the female dog was yapping angrily, baring its teeth. Bosco was left waving his front paws in freaked out confusion.

The owner held back her terrier and said something like "Oh! OH! He's a boy?"

Then she teased the dog, holding her and saying "Aiyah, he's a boy, it's like that one". At least, I think she was kidding. Tei and I shared a "Holy shit, it's an angry lesbian dog!" look.

When they left, the terrier was brought over to say bye-bye to Bosco. The dog refused to be friendly, so her owner turned her around so Bosco could sniff her butt. The terrier covered it with her tail. Poor Bosco.

I know it sounds like I'm reinforcing the idiocy that every female that rejects any male's advances is automatically a lesbian, but to be fair, we were in Boathouse. Even Reza, whom I bumped into there, is now a lesbian.

I just started using my RSS reader again recently. If you'd like to subsribe to mine:

http://xml.tabulas.com/lainie/rss.xml
I admit this could be because I wanted a cheap excuse to draw the rss icon. 

Thanks if you already are. No hard feelings otherwise. You guys have a good week, only one more day till Friday! I have work to catch up on.

Written by lainie at 03:20 PM on March 14, 2008 in Daily Life, Stupid, but fun..

I just had the most entertaining read. As you should know by now, Nurul Izzah trounced Shahrizat's bottom in Lembah Pantai. Well, three days before that, a blog post went up on the We Love Mak Bedah! blog, entitled Shahrizat can’t dodge Mak Bedah.

It sounds like Shahrizat encountered some sharp, pesky Mak Bedahs who asked her many questions that our former minister of Women, Family & Community found very awkward. I literally laughed out loud by the time I read her parting shot to Meera (one of the Mak Bedahs). I think you might appreciate the Mak Bedah posts too.

While they were the ones who buat kacau at Shahrizat's, it was another case entirely in Sg Siput. Judging by the personality of the Mak Bedahs I've met, even with the photo of MIC men shouting at her (@ Mak Bedahs face Samy Vellu & Gang in Sg. Siput), I believe she can hold her own (I've not read the post yet).

Okay, I just read the post. What is it about imbeciles and talking about what they think their dicks can do? You can have sex. So can a rat. It's a biological function, get over it. That's like bragging about the ability to grow pubes.....(I just realised there's an unintentional connection to Samy's hairpiece here.....)

We have four years till the next GE, and I'm waiting to see how we work towards change. I said it a few months ago, but didn't really mean it. I think I can, now. Happy birthday Malaysia!

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After years of not posting up ads - I have an AdSense account. I think I'm officially the last amongst my group of "blog friends" to post ads - I'm certainly the only one who's not moved out of my free tabulas site (I have an early adopter account).

I'm now reading up on webmaster guidelines, and giggling over the bit that encourages "useful information". Compared to focus Google seems to prefer, I'm quite staccato. I'm rather curious to see what kinda ads I end up with.

I'd wanted to implement Adsense in my Youtube account first, as I still have templating issues here I will prefer to iron out. After very, VERY much frustration, I find this: Keep in mind that right now video units are only available for publishers located in the United States with English-language websites.

Just a hint, Youtube. You may want to make this bloody information available in this page, and here.

=====

Random observations:

Other people complain about colleagues and employers at work. My complaints revolve around a pesky cat that won't stop sitting on my laptop and eating my food.

Don't fall in love with certain digital SLR cameras if you can't afford them.

What will some people do now, those who are defined by what they aren't, what they don't stand for?. Is it a natural progression to step into the shoes of doing things correctly, from observing wrongs? Or do they remain an observer? I don't mean those who know what they want - only those who knew what they didn't.
Did that make sense?

I don't know how I missed this (thanks to Suanie for pointing it out), but there's a new Mak Bedah music video out: Bedahlicious.

 

Written by lainie at 01:48 AM on March 16, 2008.

It's my housemate's birthday today. I don't even know if he reads this, but happy birthday Tate .

We had a surprise birthday party for him in Seksyen 17, Petaling Jaya. A Thai restaurant called My Elephant (where Happy Mansion apartments are). Great food, beautiful decor - definitely recommended (review).

I'm trying to download The Magic Flute (Ingmar Bergman's version) via Bittorrent. I love this about the internet - what the bootleggers do not sell around town, The Pirate Bay will provide.

Just as I say this, the speed for all file downloads halved. I'd better not jinx it any further. Meh. Blackmailing little app.

Over the weekend, I watched Love in The Time of Cholera, and My Blueberry Nights. They disappoint in different ways. The former because Gabriel Garcia Marquez uses language to encapsulate moods in the novel that weren't transferred onto film, for me . My Blueberry Nights lacked substance or real emotional connections behind the pretty lights and metaphors.

There was, however, something that stayed with me after watching the films. A few scenes from My Blueberry Nights were gorgeous, and Love in the Time of Cholera had this quote:

“My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse”

Makes me question myself when I hear that line.

Well, now's not really the time for me to think, I'm pretty drained of energy and in dire need of sleep - don't ask why I'm here blogging, I can't figure it out either. I suspect I have a perpetual need to fling thoughts out in all directions, perhaps because I like to return in two years and surprise myself with rekindled memories (although this could also work in two weeks, given how badly I remember anything).

Written by lainie at 01:57 AM on March 17, 2008 in Home, Arty stuff.

I seem to be watching more musicals lately - two on a Sunday. First it was the 1979 film Hair, which I loved with all its hippies, acid taking, nudity (boobies, w00t!), adventures, carefree love and what was at that time, racial diversity. I expect contemporary films to move far beyond black / white in diversification, but I can take into account this musical was decades ago.

In this musical I saw aspects myself and some friends. Not all of it was pretty. There was a selfishness in the convenience of the "cosmic consciousness" that I could identify in my own social circles, and myself. There was also acid taking in the film, and it reminded me of what a dear friend said to me once - drugs make people selfish. I agree with that about as much as I can most generalisations.

I really loved the musical for all the things it tried to do.

Then I watched a film older than my mother: An American in Paris. Ding had rented the film, and I'd asked to borrow it because I could hear the music coming from her room. Gene Kelly plays an American painter in, of course, Paris. Art references abound in this musical. My favourite scene made one such reference to Toulouse-Lautrec, during the epic dance at the end of the film - could be a bias from my graphic design background.

Between the two, I preferred Hair - as ridiculous as some of the characters and situations were in Hair, at least they had personality. Gene Kelly's character was half charming, half bitch, reacting as convenient to the script - and I couldn't reconcile either side. I liked the music, but....hmm.

...I have my thoughts on both musicals, but I dislike doing film reviews unless I'm being paid to mash out the thoughts into words . Let's just say that despite some flaws, I enjoyed both musicals.

I have so much bitching to do about my as-yet heavily pregnant cat. Ding told me the cat, Girlfriend, had diarrhoea and a nasty ass, so she'd bathed her. Later, I saw Girlfriend trying to tunnel into my comforter, and after Ding's warning about our cat's diarrhoea, immediately checked her arse.

What I saw was a huge, brown, blister-bubble coming out of her punani. Yelled for Ding.

OH MY GAWD, GIRLFRIEND'S GIVING BIRTH!.

We screamed at each other for a while (I don't even know what she was screaming) before we ran down, carrying the cat between us like a bomb about to blow at any second.

Got her to the nest I made downstairs (in a cabinet, lots of newspapers, curtains and towels). We made more noise in that run down the stairs alone than the cat has in her entire stay here, I think. Full-blown pet parenting panic. I'm surprise we didn't scare the kittens out.

(photo ganked off Annu's Facebook)

Now, it's been almost twelve bloody hours, and the cat's still in labour. She's tired me out so much today. I'm already bleeding like a bitch and trying to keep my hormonal temper stable, while tired? Does. Not. Help.

I'm going downstairs to check on her one last time before I head to bed. Good night people, I'm knackered.

Written by lainie at 02:49 AM on March 18, 2008 in Home.

I came downstairs to make myself the usual wake-up coffee.

What I found was the housecat, Girlfriend, stumbling around the living room, knocking into the sofa, and a kitten's tail sticking out of her punani. There was a trail of sticky goo where she had been walking.

She got knocked up very young, barely still a kitten herself. Didn't seem to know what she was doing, alternating between squatting, lying on her side and her back. After a long while, the first kitten came out strangely stretched. She licked the kitten a few times then walked away, randomly dripping from her poon as she went.

I already had gloves on by then, sterile gauze to wipe the kitten's face, face towel to dry her body, dental floss and blunt scissors to deal with the umbilical cord - I did it all knowing it was stillborn, but I had to try anyway.

The next one came out like a fart. She'd walked a few feet away, and the kitten plopped onto the bathroom mat. She took a look at the kitten and left. I repeated the cat-nurse role. Another stillborn, but this one was so perfectly shaped I felt terrible. The kitten's tail was bent, just like her mother's. They were all born with their forepaws curled under their chins, looking vulnerable, wet and cold. Like the innocent dead only in need of some warmth to start mewing.

Ding sent me a link on what to do, and thank goodness it opened on my laptop, I had much trouble having to constantly repair my connection here, so I didn't get to check other websites for advice - I wanted to know if I should help her sit any other way for childbirth, she was doing it in a Cleopatra-style recline, legs firmly clenched together, however that worked. I ended up helping her lift one paw up, seemed to make more sense.

So yes, my routine most of the day consisted of following Girlfriend around the house as she threatened to give birth to stillborn kittens everywhere. She walked from room to room while giving birth. Living room. Kitchen sink. TV Cabinet. Staircase.

Four kittens, in total. Lots of dripping / poo / vomit in between. Every single one born curled up and dead. It was kinda depressing, but by the third I just did what I could. It lasted morning till night.

I had to follow her everywhere since she didn't sit still, and I didn't know when she was going to pop another kitten out for abandonment. She didn't want to be alone anyway - I know all the websites said to give her space and intervene only when necessary, but everytime I moved away she meowed in protest and attempted to follow me. Then she'd leave, and call for me wherever she was.

I think she was too young to know what was happening. Young and frightened.

My housemates came back from work at dinnertime, and took Girlfriend to my usual vet. She's fine now, just tired and prone to occasional bleeding. She's been extra affectionate lately, and trying very hard to come into my bedroom with me.

I haven't allowed her in because of the intermittent bleeding the vet warned of, and she wants to get on my bed . It feels a bit mean after what she's been through, honestly. Like I'm punishing her by abandoning her. I'm too used to spoiling the cat.

I had to cancel what I need to do today. My allergies have gone beyond what the pills usually stop. Allergies are an energy drain on me, and on top of my period, it's been an extremely long day. I couldn't stop yawning tonight over dinner.

I had a McFlurry from McDonalds - I try to limit McDs to once a month, so this was my March allotment.

I'm glad the cat is alright. Needier for attention, but that's a vast improvement over watching her panting, eyes wide, bumping into furniture. She's almost back to the small size she was.


I think my housemate sent me a text about tweaking Girlfriend's nipples to keep them from ...hardening up, which was rather dark humour. C'mere Girlfriend, lemme at them milky nipples. All...six of them.

Written by lainie at 06:29 PM on March 19, 2008 in Daily Life.

Yesterday, I shared some beer and supper with Tei. Less than a mug in, I realised my alcohol tolerance was pissed, because I had to focus to keep from slurring.  I talk very randomly - this blog isn't even a reflection of how I jump topics without consideration for my friends keeping up - so anything that impedes my speech makes me feel even more unintelligible. I don't even want to think what a glass of wine will do to me now.

I don't actually drink much. It's almost unjustified, the frequency of my getting drunk versus how much alcohol is actually trickles down my throat.

Worked today on minimal sleep. I've lost the side of me that can function on two hours of sleep a night, now it makes my whole system sluggish.

Now, just for kicks....The titles are there, but see if you can recognise any of the musicals here at a glance (DVD covers taken from Amazon.com):

 

 

(these are some of the musicals on film I've watched in 2008 so far - 1st row, 3rd from left: you might have missed this one, go get the DVD if you can).

I have to go now, two aspirins are calling my name in the kitchen. If you had a needy cat continuously yowling next to you the whole day, you'd hear the call of Panadol too.

Written by lainie at 12:33 AM on March 21, 2008 in Daily Life, Arty stuff.

I entered a hardware store today and bought some galvanised wire. Hey, lesbian in a hardware store, there are worse stereotypes I could have walked out with. Yknow, the kinda stuff Tim Allen would have gone "hur hur hur" over in Home Improvement .

My plan is to create Typography Sculptures. It's not precisely the material I wanted to work with, but it's similiar and (more importantly) affordable. I'll start with some maquettes. Given my attention span, that may be the furthest I go.

I got this visualisation one day of the sculpture I want (definitely not something you'll find in a mall), and it wouldn't leave my head. It's huge. There isn't space for it in this house. But I'll do it anyway, because.......Er. I am flighty about the economy of space.

What I have in mind, I really, really like . What I suspect will happen though, is that I'll find twiddling wires into the shape I want, can potentially suck donkey balls.

Had supper last night with Tei. She suggested one of my favourites - beef noodles on Tengkat Tung Shin - do you know the dodgy roadside stall with the giant neon cow-sign above? It's not as flavourful as when I was a kid, but years of eating hawker food here - there's a part of me that'll always love the food out of loyalty.

Tei and I have been hanging out the past three nights because I needed a favour from her, and it kept getting delayed. I told Tei if she ever gets a girlfriend, she needs to warn me so I can find a replacement to spend time with (she says I'll see it coming a mile away, which is probably true).

As for the domesticities (is this even a word?):

Woke up in time for a lunch my housemates call brunch (at noon), in a decent cafe called Departure Lounge. I couldn't understand the coffee promo flyer the waitress kept showing me, just kept nodding and saying "Okay, one latte. One latte. Uhuh. Yeah. Whatever. As long as I get the latte. One latte, one latte.".

Then went off with Annie to The Curve for a movie, skulked around IKEA and got a RM5.90 bathroom mat. Watched Gossip Girls with Ding (who's the worst tv fiend I know), followed by a session of injuring Girlfriend's dignity by giving her a bath and frightening her with the hair dryer.

For future reference: Holding on to a freaked-out cat is not fun.

Written by lainie at 03:01 PM on March 21, 2008 in Rants, Arty stuff.

I just read Kathy Rowland's editorial on Kakiseni:

"it's now the Ministry of National Unity, Culture, Arts and Heritage."

It used to be just the inflated title of: Ministry of Culture, Arts and Heritage. Now it's even longer. Oh, my, gawd!

I'd like to know which bright spark came up with the idea of adding "National Unity" in, because it's a fascinating misunderstanding of what the arts is about.

Please don't tell me it is our new minister of national unity, culture, arts and heritage who came up with that because it reeks of ignorance to me.

When will art be seen as art? And not part of a vehicle for whatever greater good the government thinks it should  serve? I can't say what the arts is, but I can tell you it's not about National Unity. Why would anyone attempt to dictate what art is? That gives off ......totalitarian vibes.

Why not Ministry of National Unity, Tourism, Nation Building, Better Roadsigns, Pendidikan Moral, Greater Good, Malaysia Idol, Weekly Karaoke, Cuisine, Culture, Arts and Heritage? Nah, semua ambik!

I can understand the issue of representation in art, but...uniting the nation....bears the weighty sound of hegemony. Certainly not the most welcome aspect in the arts world.

 Then again, Malaysia is the country where I had to learn Kemahiran Hidup (Living Skills), which as one subject in school grandly encompassed accountancy, tailoring, carpentry, tinkering with eletrical stuff, cooking, housekeeping, gardening and I can't even remember what else.

I learned a valuable skill in that class: How to hire others based on their skills, jump over school walls to skip classes and barter my comics so a tomboy would do all the woodsawing for me (should have bartered myself, damned late blooming).

I'm not pissing on the idea of National Unity, but I don't think this ministry should be the place for it.

Anyone care to enlighten me? I don't particularly relish jumping to my own conclusions.

Written by lainie at 02:12 AM on March 22, 2008 in Links / Email, Arty stuff.

Before I continue, I need to plug my own blog post on the Kakiseni Cammies blog: Brian Tan: Nominee for Mandarin Oriental Kuala Lumpur, Fan of the Arts Most Promising Young Artist Award (this dude's list of achievements is really something).

Right, moving along to what has turned into an accidental links fest:

I think netizens are familiar with Avenue Q, the Sesame Street-Muppets parody musical that brought us songs like "The internet is really really great (for porn)".

Well, I watched a much ruder, lewder musical recently - The First Nudie Musical. When they say "nudie", they generally refer to that of the gratuitous female variety.

It's mostly heterosexual, which is not surprising. There's also a "Lesbian butch dyke" scene (where the butch in question isn't, at all). She's suited up, smoking, pouring drinks, and trying to seduce a virginal blond girl.

Dyke: Just relax honey, all I wanna do is...touch you. Caress you. Kiss you. Do dirty things to your body. Just think of me as...a friend.
Virginal: ...Are you a homo?
Dyke: You bet your nipple.

Dyke breaks out into song:

Lesbian butch dyke,
You can call it what you like,
but it's what I am and what I'll always be.

Lesbian butch dyke
and that's why they call me Mike
and not Jane or Susan or Penelope

Other scenes abound - girls getting hot watching a "stunt cock" with a super schlong do his thing to the star of the nudie musical (ee vas yust soo beeeeg, ee vas yust sooo beeeeeg), a 23-year old virgin director, an opportunitistic Romeo-wannabe on set.

It feels like they ended up with DreamQuest, but less costume make-up, and more song-and-dance.

This is a screencap of when the virgin director is sent to a whorehouse (Bruce Kimmel actually does a pretty decent job as this character). I think this scene told me I much prefer skimpy dressing to naked girls.

Some catty quotes:

You know, somehow I don't mind being called a bitch. especially when it comes from the original.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Why, don't you remember?

And now, something unrelated: A picture of a young, virile Treat Williams (of Everwood fame), in the musical film, Hair (which was much, much better than First Nudie Musical):

He looks good everytime he's dancing, I don't want to look away. Since my post seems to have this body-obsession thing going on, why stop?

I was reading Dan Savage's fuckyouverymuch advice column, Savage Love.

I'm a 19-year-old lesbian with the dyke equivalent of the "does size matter" problem: I have a really short tongue. Is there anything I can do? Or does "size" really not matter?

Tongue Tied Teen

How the hell would there be an end-all answer to that? Honestly, if you're so worried, buy some toys. Big ones. Or drive a ridiculously big car (I drive a jeep, but for unrelated reasons of course. I swear it's not based on tongue insecurities. Really. Totally. I swear).

That made me think of an old article I read on sexual identity, from And this... is how AnJ ticks: Sexual Identity and Identity Development:

What is sexual identity? Sexual identity includes:

1. Being aware of one’s sexual needs (A subjective experience of interest/libido)

2. Adoption of personal sexual values (Moral judgments about desirable/acceptable sexual behavior)

3. Being aware of preferred sexual activities (Any behavior relating to or based on sexual attraction, sexual arousal, sexual gratification or reproduction i.e. fantasy, hand-holding, kissing, sexual intercourse.)

4. Being aware of preferred characteristics (physical, emotional, intellectual, interpersonal, economic, spiritual etc.) of sexual partners

5. Being aware of preferred modes of sexual expression (Any form of verbal/non-verbal communication or direct/indirect signals that one uses to convey one’s sexuality i.e. flirting, eye-movements, touching, vocal quality, suggestive body movements.)

6. Being able to recognize and identify with one’s sexual orientation (one’s personal self-definition on any sexual orientation identity i.e. straight, bicurious, pansexual, gay, questioning, queer etc.)

Be warned that reading this will probably make you more aware of issues behind sexual identity compared to most of your friends. Frankly, that can be no fun. Unless you like being the smartypants of the group, then by all means.

I end with two unrelated posts:

One from Glide Magazine, that reminded me of my Phish and Grateful Dead days with Kate in Cyberjaya:

It’s not every day we can compare and contrast Death Cab For Cutie and Phish, so we’re gonna take our shot while we can.

Death Cab for Cute Explores Their Jammy Side.

The other, a look at the past 5 years in Iraq, has a section that sounds a bit close to home right now:

The process of liberation is not just one of freeing people from the constraints of their regime; it is about them deciding how they want to rule themselves, how they want to organise and govern their society. It is in fighting for freedom that people gain a sense of what they want freedom to look like.

Spiked: Why haven’t they learned the lesson of Iraq?

Written by lainie at 07:01 PM on March 23, 2008 in Links / Email, Home.

I was invited to attend Time Out KL's launch on Tuesday night, which coincides with KataGender's meet up to discuss future actions.

Either I'm busier than I realised, or KataGender has a knack for clashing against my calendar.

Have been doing housework over the weekend. Ding and I cleaned up the shared area right outside our rooms. We're gonna whip that nook into an arts lounge. We have personal artwork and photography, and a series of Sketch Exchange (rather like Photoshop Tennis, but on paper) so there'll also be a feature wall.

I wish I had a camera so I could show you my latest project - I've created something for my room door - a wire sculpture of my initials, based on my cursive handwriting.

It'll be positioned outside, a few inches in front of my door (high enough that I don't bump into it). The light across the hallway casts a wire-thin shadow of my name on the door.

The part I like: As the door opens, the shadow of my name elongates and enters my room with me. Ding laughed at me because I was so thrilled when I showed her. If I get my hands on a camera I'll take a pic. Meanwhile, why not some music?

Headlights: Cherry Tulips

I've been replaying this video an awful lot. I love how the song goes - I've a soft spot for vocals like that.

And if you saw the screencap yesterday, this is a Youtube video of Treat Williams singing I Got Life

The enthusiasm is infectious. And now, some work.

Written by lainie at 11:45 PM on March 24, 2008 in Friends.

I sometimes forget I have readers, and the minimal consciousness means I have the tendency to presume anyone who comes across this blog has thoughts that echo mine, especially some perspectives I take for granted. I know it's awfully rude to invite guests to a blog, then forget their presence - but it comes in handy for a blogger, sometimes .

I've been asked to clarify a statement I made about how The Ministry of National Unity, Culture, Arts and Heritage reeks of totalitarianism, and to explain what I have against "national" art.

This is the longer explanation:

1) I'd be a twit to dismiss the history of nationalist / patriotic pride's place in art, what more its future here. I have nothing against a Malaysian arts scene - Take my personal preference in theatre: All my favourites have an inexplicable Malaysian (and Singaporean) soul to it* - be it nostalgic, critical, humorous or chastising. Pick a Huzir Sulaiman play. Or In 1969. Or Second Link. What about the questions that have been asked, like in Wangi Jadi Saksi, about what duty to the country really implies (capitalising, perhaps, on how it's increasingly trendy to paint Hang Jebat as the hero)? It's easier for me to identify with any local production than it is any production I saw on the West End (whatever archetypes and sweeping music they employed)

*not a geographical eligibility requirement I am conscious of.

It would take an immature nation, and arts community, to be unable to transfer their interpretation of the country on stage. I have more faith in the people and arts community than that. What I do not have faith in, is the institution. The issue of state censorship, bureaucratic athletics involved in getting a license, the politicians who say the darndest things - these add up.

And national unity? We're talking about people in the arts community who question the relevance / role of the arts community itself. It's a tricky balance between solidarity, and the danger of hegemony (a point Jo Kukathas raised in Panic Buttons art forum). How well "National Unity" works as a component in the arts ministry, would rely on a minister I am unfamiliar with - I'm deterred from even guessing how this will be interpreted with each incoming minister. Who checks the balance between endorsement and control? A lot of my view on institutions and the arts is shaped by the past. Right now, I have more suspicions than hope for how loaded the term "National Unity" is - artists don't always agree with the state, and I'm not sure how freely they can voice that.

Anyway, in my defence, I end by quoting myself, from when I wrote about watching Second Link:

And yet, in reality, which were the most successful plays? Excluding Puteri Gunung Ledang for its marketing budget (even though it is a local story), the most popular / successful ones are not, far as we can tell, a Shakespeare, Beckett or Miller. The ones people remember, talk about, and admired were......local plays.

Like I said. Nothing against Malaysian art, or national unity. But this is like getting Itchy to marry Scratchy, perhaps not the best of all unions.

This is the shorter explanation:

2) It's my off-the-cuff hunch. Live with it.

That wasn't really the truth about what I think, but if you're familiar with Pratchett, you'd know how a lie sometimes paints a better truth than reality. Now can I get on to blogging about my life?

I went for a barbeque at Tei's place last night. Tei says I appeared at her doorstep like some grumpy gangster, bottle of alcohol in my left hand, and an expression on my face that said I brought the alcohol, now where's the food you promised me!. To be fair, I was rain-soaked and hungry. I've been booked by her and Smile for Wednesday night, meaning I miss my second invitation to yet another Time Out KL party (wow, they seem to be celebrating a fair bit). Her brothers were at home with some friends, watching football - they're footie crazy, and at the rate they're going, they'll be able to form a football team soon.

Have been calling the Most Promising Young Artists nominees in the Cammies because I need their answers to an interview for the Cammies blog. I really feel like such a stalker sometimes - I'm more familiar with writing reviews, or observations. Less so on interviews, although that would really make most of my articles easier to write.

Ding took my sketchbook and drew a picture of me, or rather about the size of my boobs, and the rest of me just happened to be in the drawing. My reaction upon holding it up to see was

Lainie: ........*sighhhhh*

[ Pause ]

Lainie: Where the hell are my pants???

Ding said if she meant to draw me without pants there'd have been more ...details in the drawing. Cheek.

Written by lainie at 04:15 PM on March 25, 2008 in Friends, Links / Email, Stupid, but fun..

I'm not questioning if the babes are hot in Estranged's video for Itu Kamu, merely that it's actually a tag for the video, under "hot babes" (so all crazy Melina fans / friends of the girls please don't kena me). Not that I was looking for hot babes on Youtube, of course.

Speaking of Melina (one of the girls in the video), Tempered Mental recently performed in Singapore for Sunburst. I had a good giggle when the photos started appearing in Facebook, because I'd been told by observant friends that all the lesbians suddenly appeared around the stage when TM performed, then followed her to the next stage when she played for Reza Salleh.

tired disclaimer: I am not stalking Melina. I am not stalking Melina. I am not...BLARHAGG!! Bloody lesbian friends and their obsessions.

Since we're on the topic of Singapore...I followed one of Adri's links, and.... It's very difficult to take the country seriously sometimes:

Love is in the air in classrooms:

THE Singapore Government is offering students lessons in seduction to boost the city state's flagging birthrate.
taken from The Age

Seriously, Singapore, use your resources. Look at all the lesbians* you have. Get them to teach the classes (minus the chapter on How to be Obsessive, Angry and Psychotic for a Year Should Things Not Work Out), and you'll have partners U-Hauling into a two bedroom apartment together by the second month, or date.

*If you wonder why I say that, you have yet to observe how a lot of lesbians behave when they're being lovey.

Over lunch with Josie, we talked about beach holidays - always good for picking up people and strange diseases. I asked her to picture some scenarios. These are some dodgy doodles to show you:

I wanted to know what kind of impression it'd make if she saw this on the beach:

 

And asked if it'd be different if the girl was in the middle, like so:

I accidentally put the girl's hand on the other girl's ass, but heck. I have a daytime job, yknow .

I end with an email Lola sent me, that cracked me up heaps.

Feeling down? Just remember that...

Written by lainie at 06:45 PM on March 25, 2008 in Rants.

Dear Campbell's Soup (Malaysia),

Enclosed is a scan of something I found in a can of Campbell's Vegetable Soup:

A neatly cleaved insect that looks like a gargantuan ant / bee, and a leg.

Not found in this can: the bottom half, the other antenna, or any of the remaining legs.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Campbell's muck to clean off my scanner.

Written by lainie at 04:01 AM on March 26, 2008 in Daily Life, Events, Arty stuff.

Meh I'm tired. Just finished editing an interview - I updated the Cammies blog yesterday with: Wong Jyh Shyong: Nominee for Mandarin Oriental Kuala Lumpur, Fan of the Arts Most Promising Young Artist Award. Seriously, check out the dance videos there.

I went for a Katagender meet tonight, in HSBC Restaurant, Bangsar (Hot & Spicy Bangsar Cuisine). I had no trouble finding the meeting place, because Jemufo drove, and we used to dine there frequently when we were housemates.

Mien: I keep waiting for the day you and Jemufo will date each other.
Lainie: Oh, I resisted the temptation for a year as her housemate, I'm sure I can keep it up a while longer.

Plus, I get to charge RM2 for every day Jemufo dates someone else, in clear disregard for the sanctity of our Facebook relationship (apparently, she's my partner in an open relationship).

I brought my friend Annie to the meeting.

Puspa: Your friend, where is she from?
Lainie: She's from KL. Or rather, Klang.
Puspa: .....

Puspa: I mean, what organisation?
Lainie: Oh! She's my friend.

Which sounded better than "She plays Scrabble with me".
Deja vu of the blank stares I used to get when I said "I'm from Ipoh".

As Annie's sole source of information on what Katagender is about, she might have been underinformed - but at least not unrealistically optimistic - about KG's capacity as an organised collective.

It was agreed that Katagender is better at "hit and run" actions (placard waving), and not long-term serious stuff (organising educational workshops) - a few boring la complaints arose.

Forget changing the world, we need to deal with our short attention spans and conflicting schedules. Our dates are so tightly set against each other I don't think an ant could poof in that space.

We'd met up because of some statements a prominent local music band had made against lelaki lembut (effete men). Ideas were getting grander as our discussions progressed, and it took some reminding that lelaki lembut does not equate to homosexuality, the rate some of us were using "gay" as an umbrella term for all things queer or beyond the norms in regards to this issue.

I like that about KG though - pitch all the silly ideas first, then trim as appropriate to budget, logistics and cynicism (biggest non-winner idea was to spit contemptuously at our targets).

Annie left early, but not before I asked

Lainie: Can we make you crossdress? Just for fuck's sake.
Annie: I'm not the crossdressing kind.

J: You don't crossdress? What's wrong with you?

All meant in jest .

On a personal note, the issue's beyond my usual scope of knowledge or informed opinions, which makes me tetchy on the legitimacy of our claims. It's also a grudging admittance - I am too lazy to inform myself, which could make my argument a thin mix of emotional polemics, and some general declarations on freedoms and human rights.

I'd have a point, but one which does not directly address the band's claims from their platform, an approach I'd prefer. Then again, it's questionable why I want to address arguments from a platform I don't believe in? To communicate with those who cannot leave it?

EHHH? I'm tired, it's not helping the thought process.

Oh, who knows. I tend to worry about the consequences of being both uninformed and reactionary, usually not via the most economical route. However, I'd rather worry than work. Heh...Fuck, I am relying on the other KG people to know what they're doing.

Fortunately, my short attention span addresses that worry before the hour is - OOOH! Bunnies!

Meet Bunny & Pineapple, 1 panel comics on various First Encounters of Different Bunnies and Pineapples (it's not a narrative comic), and how they each react. It was fun, I couldn't stop drawing once I started:

You should give something like this a shot. Simple idea, many outcomes. I love it!

Was drawing this randomly scattered around my sketchbook (I arranged it in a column here), until I heard something about designing raincoats, and looked up - to find a few faces staring back.

Lainie: Er. Why is everyone looking at me?

I think I've become the default design person. I looked at Ez, also a graphic designer, and she had this happy, "this is not my problem!" expression put on. I have a bad feeling about this - I don't even remember what raincoats look like .

Rather lengthy blog post, isn't it? Well, as Pascal supposedly said: My apologies for this letter being so long; had I more time, it would have been shorter.

I'm hungry and my eyes are tired . Here's another pic I drew (kinda Bowie, no?)

Written by lainie at 07:23 PM on March 28, 2008 in Daily Life.

Retrospect isn't so fun when you realise there's lots of events and your brain's being pissy.

I went to Wondermilk on Wednesday with Rach. My ex-classmate from Cenfad is a designer there, so it was good to catch up. I don't see any of them around much (to be fair, there were only 10 of us). The cupcakes there are quite cute. They're so cute I want to bring them to an absolutely skanky, tarty party where all these sleazy people will be manhandling desserts, and each other.

Of course, I have no such party to go to, except for tomorrow's barbeque with the Kakiseni girls. While I'd like to be tarty since Juliet will be present, Zal's warning anti-Lainie-Lesbianism bellows are quite an effective deterrent. Zal used to shout LAINIE! STOP PERVING ON CARMEN SOO! (usually when I'm not even sure where Carmen is), just to entertain herself - she's a voice coach, you can imagine the dimensions it booms out to.

Then Rach wanted to go to another art gallery, and I came home to prepare for a night out in Qba and Zouk. Qba in Westin Hotel was hosting a Time Out KL launch party, with free flow of booze, lots of Latin dancing. Smile had a good time grooving on the dance floor, I couldn't identify any of the dances and resorted to drinking too much whiskey. I met Albert there (armed with his camera, of course), and Brian Kwan - who's the wed editor and in charge of the music section. If you're familiar with Brian's website Alldatjazz, you'll know he's the dude.

Lainie: What the hell are you gonna cover for the next issue? I flipped through it and you got Annexe, Wondermilk, Wei-Ling Gallery, Consequential Lovers Club, Kinky Blue Fairy, the fish spa thing..

He said he was aware they'd covered a lot of ground by the first issue . I can think of more cool places, but they've covered the essentials within my price range, and I won't be surprised if No Black Tie and Palate Pallette have made the issue too. Qba was affirmation that the lesbian community is very very small.

After Qba, it was Mambo Jambo in Zouk. Smile with her useful list of contacts got us a table despite it being late and crowded. They were playing Abba, followed by a lot of retro music. I now have three events I like - TAG on Friday nights, Lapsap when they have it, and Mambo Jambo.

I had an assortment of drinks and an inverse proportion of memories, although I do remember dancing a lot, and telling Tei she'd regret imitating Hugh Grant's cheesy dance in Music & Lyrics the next day (I was right).
Met some nice new people, and some less so.

I am proud to say though I was quite drunk, I wasn't the most wasted.That titular pride goes to Smile. Easter, 40 days without alcohol, it adds up.

I can't remember what I did yesterday, or today, but I'm sure it was fun. And I'm sure I'll remember soon .

I'll be heading to Zouk's fourth anniversary tonight. Big party plans.

Written by lainie at 04:02 AM on March 30, 2008 in Daily Life.

Link plugs:

I updated the Cammies blog:
Ng Chor Guan: Nominee for Mandarin Oriental Kuala Lumpur, Fan of the Arts Most Promising Young Artist Award

and, Rach debuts on Kakiseni: Head On, Hands Off. She mentions a pet peeve of mine (and Jemufo's) - people touching artworks at exhibitions.If you're so inclined, there's plenty of free arts-related events to attend in KL.

Was heading towards Annexe's exhibition Out of Berlin... passthepicture, when I bumped into this girl, who said we were too late for it. Ended up heading over to Palate Palette together, for a rescreening of Filmmaker's Anonymous 4 - she gave the cabbie directions (and I'm the Malaysian who actually lived down the road from Palette for over a year).

I'd watched some of the short films so many times I nearly drooled out the side of my mouth in stupor. A few didn't require a second screening to qualify as soporific. My alcohol tolerance is still piss, so before I was through my beer, my face turned red and I became increasingly bored & high.

Effa handed me a badge she found on the ground that said I prefer girls. Before the night ended, I stopped Mei Ling.

Lainie: Something was found in this room that should go to you.
MeiLing: What does it say? Heyyyyy.....Why me and not you?

No reason. Because your hair is gayer than mine? . Then later I was asked

Chi: Are you trying to outlesbian yourself?

Ive been told I look really gay lately. I've run out of tshirts and everytime I wear a shirt, I look like a lesbian pirate, apparently. Arrrrrr! ARRRRRRR!!

Lainie: Does this shirt really look gay?
Tei: Yes, it's very gay.
Lainie: But it's all girly and has pleats and the lil buttons and stuff.
Tei: Must be just cause you're wearing it then.

Apparently Tei can transmogrify a borrowed straight girl's outfit into a dyke one just through her aura (presumably, emanating from her hair).

Before Chi left, he gave me a DVD (Penusah Tana - the forgotten struggle). The dude who's raising money by selling DVDs of his work, has decided I'm too broke to buy a copy . It's about the Penans - there's a media blackout on this issue, so most Malaysians aren't aware of the (illegal) nonsense our government has been up to.

Chi is trying to raise money (at RM20 a pop) to fund his next docu (he doesn't accept money from NGOs, to avoid accusations of being a tool of faceless NGO's).

Went to TAG@ Loft on Friday night. It was Zouk's 4th anniversary - we started off in Main Room where Viji gave us whiskey, and Adam got a bottle of champagne. At one point I was holding a drink in each hand, and Adam was laughing at me because he knew I wouldn't survive the drinks (I didn't).

Main Room was alright but nothing beats Loft for me so I ended up there, very happy - and drunk. It was kinda amusing that an event organiser had invited us, saying "bring lots of girls!" - if memory serves, it was a mini banana farm we ended up with. I don't know, I don't keep track.

There were so many people I didn't even make a dent in the list of people I was supposed to meet that night (partially my fault for not wanting to make my rounds, I suppose). Was too settled where I was, drinking and dancing.

My Weds alcohol-fuelled walk was: wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
My Friday alcohol-fuelled walk was: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I was informed by a very amused Tei that I grabbed Smile by her neck, and ran for Loft, with Smile trying to remind me that straight girls wearing killer-heels weren't meant to run after drinking (apparently, I remained unaware we were running).

I think being in Loft surrounded by friends fills me with endorphins. Either that, or too much champagne. WHO CARES? I've been away from Friday TAG for too long!

Along with the usual friends, some ex-Cenfad classmates were there and I was well pleased to meet them again - Bee, Iszie, and KC. Honestly, I was just generally really happy to see anyone I knew. I could have met a Care Bear and be delighted.

I've been teased about Friday night most of today by Smile and Tei, about how drunk I was - the presumptuous pair wasn't even in Loft most of the time, but that rarely stops them.

At one point, I'd turned around from talking with Mei Ling to realise that Tei had snuck out on me. I thought Rach and Annie ditched me as well, but turns out it was just my memory showing wide gaping holes.

I insisted we had chicken rice and loh shu fun for supper after Loft. Happy child. Sobered down over food.

Lainie: I think I'll have a headache tomorrow.

[ pause to cradle head ]

Lainie: Because I already have one now...

I was right. Blighter of a headache. But it was good to be out again - I say this like I haven't been out meeting people heaps lately, but hey.

Written by lainie at 01:47 AM on April 1, 2008 in work?, Daily Life, Friends.

Made a date with some friends to watch Paris Je T'aime in One Utama (trailer here)

The movie consisted of a series of vignettes by different directors, loosely based on the concept of love and Paris.

I liked the cultural variations portrayed - religions, languages, ethnicities, class and nationalities in the movie, how it addressed the elderly and differently-abled without alienating them (unlike my commentary ). Seamless. I suspect I may just as easily not notice it if I haven't been...conditioned...to look for certain factors. Actually, I noticed very few women were involved in the directing process. Okay, I stop now.

That being said, what really got to me wasn't analysing a film's social contributions (I swear I don't consciously look), but feeling the human connection. Little glimpses into the moments where people connect, or disconnect.

If Paris Je T'aime is still screening in GSC, you really need to go.

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When the boys left, us girls ended up talking about sex (we were peeping on pole dancers before). I was under the presumption that it's easy for me to talk about everyone's different kinks, or bedroom styles. Unless it involves coercion, I am not easy to weird out - but that trend's finally been broken.

She described something she does that stunned me - I repeatedly insisted she was lying, a reflex in the process of suspending disbelief. I didn't even know it could be a part of sex. You guys are wondering what it is, right?

Apparently, while waiting for a guy to put on a condom, which can be an awkward moment....she...tucks in the corners of the bed sheets. To avoid sleeping on bunchy sheets after. It involves strategic manoeuvering.

I was like....Why can't you suck his nipples?? Or objectify the dude? Or tell him to hurry up? Or help him? Or grope him? Or stick your fingers up his ass? Spank? Spank his ass? Switch on the camera? Scratch his back? Nibble on him? How long could he be taking?? Do anything! ANYHING!WHY THE BED SHEETS??

We kept going over it, before I realised that for a lesbian, I really didn't need to be picturing what a girl could do with a naked man. I'm sorry, I find girls a much prettier topic of imagination.

 I've never heard of anyone making the bed while shagging. How about you readers out there? Anyone watering the plants while they wait?

Was dropped off in No Black Tie  for Reza's event, Sunday Night Lights, with my head still spinning at the revelation. All the things possible in bed during those moments. Painting the walls, designing a postcard, bathing the cat - this can all be part of the mating ritual! Admittedly, I was getting carried away, but new boundaries means exploration.

I don't even want to talk about her other two sex quirks. Does Martha Stewart do this? Does she have sex, even?

Speaking of which, anyone wants to clean my room / do my laundry between shagging, while I pretend to fumble with a condom?

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I bumped into Mei Ling yet again. She tried to say hi, but in my distracted state (bedsheets!) I ignored it, thinking someone had tried to grab my arse - she assures me that was merely my ego's translation of events.

I don't know how to explain away the part where I ignored a perceived butt-grab.

Mei Ling and I have seen each other plenty in recent months, though seldom sober, and certainly not in daylight - clearly, one of us has a respectable day job.

Met the girl I thought was her non-identical twin. Apparently I'm the only one who believes they're really twins, an effect of being raised gullible in Ipoh. Must be all those years running through Ipoh's fields of taugeh, a very nature-based childhood that was low on falsehoods.

Ah taugeh fields, how I miss thee. I'll run through you again soon, the next time I'm back in Ipoh.

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As for the gig - Zal was at the same table, and we were pushing the article to each other.

You write it!
No, you write it!
My ang